ok here it is
ok here it goes i found it easier to write it here because i don't have to be here when you read it. please don't take it the wrong way please don't but there is something wrong with me always has been and i guess it always will be. when i was younger something happen to me and you know about the time i was raped but that was a everyday thing and the reason why it bugs me so much is that it happen to a cuple more girls but the thing was they were yonger then me and one time when i decide to walk home alone so i wouldn't get to see him but something happen on the way home. something bad but i can't forget about it and i have only told one other person but i am so scared because she got mad at me it had happen to her before but it was like it was my fault it happen to me something like that. i knew what was happening to me was wrong but i didn't know how to stop it i was scared and last night brought it back. i was walking home and i got stop by someone and i can't tell you who it was because then it will really bother me but anyways i got raped really bad but it was my fault because i walk home alone but i was scared boo because i knew it was going to happen at home. and it still did the same day and i was only 5 and it was so bad i could have died if i didn't tell someone then there are things wrong with me i can't explain and i don't know why i really don't there are so many things i want to tell you but i don't know how to and i have to let you know one by one. i want to open up to you and i have been and it has done alot but things just bring back the past. i look at you and i see how upset you are and it scares me because i don't want to see you hurt anymore. i want to take all your pain away i really do. boo please try to understand why i can't talk about this and why i can't be there when you read this it hurts me so much. boo i love you very much. you mean so much to me and i want to help you and we can help each other. things will get better and this feeling will pass and i feel a little better cause i let it out but know i am scared but that will fade as does everthing else love you angel