sidetracked
I know exactly how and why I have these feelings for you. It's not because of those fleeting glances you make every time we cross each other's path. It's not because of those eyes that show radiance amidst the typical crowd. It’s also not because of the kindness you express with no bounds. No. It’s not because of those things at all. It’s more because of the fact that you live. Yes. The mere fact that you are living, breathing, alive. As you take in air and as it courses down into your body, you might not observe but you just successfully prolonged your life for a while. It made me wonder why you pitifully hold on to life yet in the end, you’ll end up 6 feet under ground just like everybody else. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. Right?
You’re probably confused by now. But do you have the slightest idea what you did to me? You made emotions that I have buried long ago resurface from deep within me. Emotions that have become alien to me from the lack of use. You made me feel. You made me realize that life is worth living. You have made a mark upon my life. You changed me… And I hate you for that.
But it‘s no use hiding it now. Yes, I admit. I do love you. No matter how hard I try to deny it from myself, I still love you. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. And that is why I loathe myself. You confused me with your words. You distracted me with your smile. You changed me with your kindness. You gave me nausea and headaches. You destroyed the real me. You have changed me. I myself don’t even know who I am anymore. I just want to be as I was before. Being alone was comforting and it assured me that nobody will hurt me. Alone and unloved. I live alone and I’ll die alone. I don’t want to leave behind memories that people would eventually forget as they go on with their existence.
I hate to love you yet I love to hate you. It’s a cycle that goes on for eternity. Well, the cycle that is. But you on the other hand...
Sigh... My 3rd attempt on writing...
Constructive criticisms greatley apreciated.Ü
Just 2 let you know, it's 12 am so, if ever
there are grammatical errors, ahh... yun na yun...
nyt, nyt...
You’re probably confused by now. But do you have the slightest idea what you did to me? You made emotions that I have buried long ago resurface from deep within me. Emotions that have become alien to me from the lack of use. You made me feel. You made me realize that life is worth living. You have made a mark upon my life. You changed me… And I hate you for that.
But it‘s no use hiding it now. Yes, I admit. I do love you. No matter how hard I try to deny it from myself, I still love you. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. And that is why I loathe myself. You confused me with your words. You distracted me with your smile. You changed me with your kindness. You gave me nausea and headaches. You destroyed the real me. You have changed me. I myself don’t even know who I am anymore. I just want to be as I was before. Being alone was comforting and it assured me that nobody will hurt me. Alone and unloved. I live alone and I’ll die alone. I don’t want to leave behind memories that people would eventually forget as they go on with their existence.
I hate to love you yet I love to hate you. It’s a cycle that goes on for eternity. Well, the cycle that is. But you on the other hand...
Sigh... My 3rd attempt on writing...
Constructive criticisms greatley apreciated.Ü
Just 2 let you know, it's 12 am so, if ever
there are grammatical errors, ahh... yun na yun...
nyt, nyt...