New
_Name; Suza
_Age; 23
_Sex; female
_Location; Maine
_What form(s) of SI did you use?; cutting, hitting myself
_How long did you SI for?; a few years when I was a teen. I stopped then started again when i was like 20. finally stoped 2 yrs ago when i was 21, but had a relaspe for a week back in august, but i was able to stop myself through mind over matter. but something huge has been dropped on me recently and i feel like i want to, and its taking all my strength not to
_Why did you feel it was necessary to SI?; my life was spiraling out of control and i needed control over something, and i was feeling so much pain, i just wanted all the pain on the inside to be on the outside, to take my mind off it all, and then when i was 20 i just felt so numb and wanted to feel something, anything
_When did you start to consider yourself a former Self Injurer?; when i managed to go 2 years without cutting
_What made you want to stop the most?; i hated that i was injuring myself to feel. that that was what i needed to feel. and my friends were starting to notice and worry and it made me think and i became disgusted with it all
_What reactions bother you most when/if people find out you used to SI?; calling me emo, i am not emo if i cut myself, i am in survive pain, and trouble, and saying that is just ignorant
_Was there a major scare or change in your life that made you want to stop?; not really, i just learned to cope without the use of blades, it was very hard though
_Are you on, or were you on, any medication(s)? If yes, what for and which one(s)?; im not, but i should have been, i just didnt have any medical insurance
_If you could change the past, would you have ever started? Why or why not?; i wouldnt ever change my past, its a part of me, and i will never regret what i was, it makes me stronger now
_What have you discovered to help you cope with things differently?; music, poetry, finding other ways to relief myself of the pain, and friends, i have an amazing friend who i could call if i thought i was going to slip up, unfortunatly cant call her now when i feel myself slipping cause she is why im slipping, sorta
_Pick five adjectives to describe yourself; torn, broken, scared, loving, paranoid
_How do you think/wish/hope this community can help you?; share what im feeling, help motivate me to stay strong, help me stay clean in a way, i dont want to cut, i really dont
_Would you be willing to accept IMs in someone's time of need? : most definatly, i want to help as much as i can, help should go both ways
_If yes, what is your AIM, Yahoo, and/or MSN messenger for our l_ssupport page?; Aim: SuzaChan61985, yahoo Butterfly12003, and msn SnufflesLivesOn@hotmail.com