(no subject)
Hey everyone. I'm supposed to be sleeping, and I'll probably fall asleep in classes tomorrow [I'm a freshman in college now] but I wanted to give you a small update. And maybe some hope.
It's been eight months. And it hasn't been easy, I had one of my strongest temptations over the weekend, but I've realized I don't need it. It's not going to control me anymore. I'm not going to listen to that little voice in the back of my head trying to talk me and trick me into doing it again.
What has helped me more than anything is my faith in Jesus. I wrote a poem I'd like to share:
every scar has a story
history written on my skin
just an outward expression
of the pain that dwells within
but now that story's over
the book is shut and locked away
a light has broken through the black
and i know i'll be okay
i'm just so tired of remembering
i wish my scars would disappear
i wish i never started writing
on my skin for all those years
i know you cannot change the past
so i guess you live and learn
but to keep the past to stay just that
it's to God i have to turn
And I know you can get this far and then even farther if you try, and don't give up. Your self-harm doesn't have to define you, and it shouldn't. I sometimes catch myself thinking "It's only a matter of time.." and I shouldn't think that way. I don't need to hurt myself anymore. And if it does happen again, if, then I'll just pick myself up and continue on, determined to make it even longer.
I'm always willing to talk to anyone who needs someone to listen. Stay strong everyone.
<3,
Karen.
It's been eight months. And it hasn't been easy, I had one of my strongest temptations over the weekend, but I've realized I don't need it. It's not going to control me anymore. I'm not going to listen to that little voice in the back of my head trying to talk me and trick me into doing it again.
What has helped me more than anything is my faith in Jesus. I wrote a poem I'd like to share:
every scar has a story
history written on my skin
just an outward expression
of the pain that dwells within
but now that story's over
the book is shut and locked away
a light has broken through the black
and i know i'll be okay
i'm just so tired of remembering
i wish my scars would disappear
i wish i never started writing
on my skin for all those years
i know you cannot change the past
so i guess you live and learn
but to keep the past to stay just that
it's to God i have to turn
And I know you can get this far and then even farther if you try, and don't give up. Your self-harm doesn't have to define you, and it shouldn't. I sometimes catch myself thinking "It's only a matter of time.." and I shouldn't think that way. I don't need to hurt myself anymore. And if it does happen again, if, then I'll just pick myself up and continue on, determined to make it even longer.
I'm always willing to talk to anyone who needs someone to listen. Stay strong everyone.
<3,
Karen.