Detrimental
I've slowly come to realize that I'm detrimental to myself. I'm not suicidal, but I harm myself. Not physcially harm myself, but emotionally. I mean, I subject myself to this constant assault of feelings that I cant have, and of things that I want. I constantly put myself in a situation to be hurt by you. I want you, but I cant have you because you dont want me to. Sometimes I think that you enjoy me being in pain, but how do you know when I dont show it? I know what it feels like to have your heart break.
I can feel my heart break every second of every day. Sometimes it feels like its gonna be my downfall. Sometimes I hurt so much that I dont think I can move on. But, when I'm with you... when you're right by my side, I feel better; and worse. I feel whole, but I feel it breaking into pieces. I love you, and you hurt me because I want your touch, want to feel you... and I cant. God help me... when will this end?
I can feel my heart break every second of every day. Sometimes it feels like its gonna be my downfall. Sometimes I hurt so much that I dont think I can move on. But, when I'm with you... when you're right by my side, I feel better; and worse. I feel whole, but I feel it breaking into pieces. I love you, and you hurt me because I want your touch, want to feel you... and I cant. God help me... when will this end?