Wow what a fucking fantastic night.
So, it's Friday fucking night and I'm home alone.
Kristi Tracy Justin and me went to the mall to pick up my Sweethearts dress. Then to Walgreens. Then Tracy and me and some other people were supposed to have a movie night but of course we didnt. Tracy dropped us off and said she was gonna go home. So I was like, "okay whatever call me if you do anything".
So, Justin left because "he didnt want to drive home in shitty weather" at like, eight fucking fifteen. i got no invitation over or anything, so. he didnt want his dad to get mad at him for being out late, but. i dont really think 10 would have been so late. whatever. honestly, sometimes it kind of bothers me how much he doesnt ever stand up to his parents. i dunno, i know i've been raised fairly liberally, so who am i to say anything? maybe im just used to dating dan, where he wasnt afraid of disobeying his parents once in a while. it was kind of refreshing. whatever.
so, after justin left i called tracy, and she was at custers. so.
now im home on my fucking friday night. which is wonderful, seeing as everyone had big plans for the evening. whatev.
Mmm, justin just had his father call me to tell me not to be mad at him. how the hell am i supposed to react to that? thats kind of lame.
i dunno. everything has just gotten to me lately. like, im not friends with anyone anymore. everyone's got someone else to spend their time with during the week, and i dont, because i dont get to see justin. seriously, it puts such a damper on my relationship, because all i get to do is sit at home and maybe, if im lucky, talk to him on the phone for half an hour every night. i just dont really see how its fair. and, im seriously sick of being a fucking fatass but i have no motivation to do anything about it. i dont even know where the hell to go to school come fall, i either have to choose between my family or my friends and boyfriend, and i thought i was going to stay here, but the more and more i think about it, i think i should go to arizona. i fucking love it there and i hate it here, so why should i be the only one who's making sacrifices?
i just broke down and cried to my mom about everything tonite, and i kind of feel like shes the only one who will listen to me, which is weird because for the first about 17 years of my life i couldnt stand her. shes the only one i have right now, and i dont know what i would be doing without her.
i dunno. like, i know how much ive gained this year, im doing better in school, a few of my relationships are getting better. so is it wrong that all i can think about is everything ive lost?
Kristi Tracy Justin and me went to the mall to pick up my Sweethearts dress. Then to Walgreens. Then Tracy and me and some other people were supposed to have a movie night but of course we didnt. Tracy dropped us off and said she was gonna go home. So I was like, "okay whatever call me if you do anything".
So, Justin left because "he didnt want to drive home in shitty weather" at like, eight fucking fifteen. i got no invitation over or anything, so. he didnt want his dad to get mad at him for being out late, but. i dont really think 10 would have been so late. whatever. honestly, sometimes it kind of bothers me how much he doesnt ever stand up to his parents. i dunno, i know i've been raised fairly liberally, so who am i to say anything? maybe im just used to dating dan, where he wasnt afraid of disobeying his parents once in a while. it was kind of refreshing. whatever.
so, after justin left i called tracy, and she was at custers. so.
now im home on my fucking friday night. which is wonderful, seeing as everyone had big plans for the evening. whatev.
Mmm, justin just had his father call me to tell me not to be mad at him. how the hell am i supposed to react to that? thats kind of lame.
i dunno. everything has just gotten to me lately. like, im not friends with anyone anymore. everyone's got someone else to spend their time with during the week, and i dont, because i dont get to see justin. seriously, it puts such a damper on my relationship, because all i get to do is sit at home and maybe, if im lucky, talk to him on the phone for half an hour every night. i just dont really see how its fair. and, im seriously sick of being a fucking fatass but i have no motivation to do anything about it. i dont even know where the hell to go to school come fall, i either have to choose between my family or my friends and boyfriend, and i thought i was going to stay here, but the more and more i think about it, i think i should go to arizona. i fucking love it there and i hate it here, so why should i be the only one who's making sacrifices?
i just broke down and cried to my mom about everything tonite, and i kind of feel like shes the only one who will listen to me, which is weird because for the first about 17 years of my life i couldnt stand her. shes the only one i have right now, and i dont know what i would be doing without her.
i dunno. like, i know how much ive gained this year, im doing better in school, a few of my relationships are getting better. so is it wrong that all i can think about is everything ive lost?