Oh man
Who knows how long I have posted something on here, I read other journals all the time, but I haven't posted. I haven't felt the need to, but now I do. I feel horrible and so puzzled by a lot of things. First of all I feel that I need to say this, I used to be jealous of the close friendship that you three had. I really did, I got over that because I know that we were all friends in the end. You know I got jealous of all the fun things you three would do on the summers that I was captured by my parents at the god horrific lake. I was jealous of the fact that you three were having a fucking blast in Muncie and meeting a lot of new people while I was slaving away here trying to survive. Now it makes me upset that you three aren't even talking anymore. It just doesn't make sense. I understand the situation but I don't understand the reason behind it. I don't think that a certain person has changed, and I don't thing that the other person REALLY honestly means it. I believe, well more like hope, that the mean things were said out of being hurt and angry. I do believe that time heals everything, but friends that have been close for this long shouldn't have been fighting for this long. I love all of you the same, believe it or not, I really honestly do. For God sakes I got a tattoo with you girls! I also believe that if we made it through middle school, through the horrific 4 years of high school, 1 year of college, it will last forever. Why wouldn't it? High school is said to be when people start to really form into the people that they are today and we formed together, didn't we? I thought so. That should have been the hardest part, not college. I hope that you both read this and talk afterward. Someone call the other one up. I don't care who makes the first move, but someone needs to make it. Just talk it out and hopefully you realize that you both really care about each other.
Ok now that it over with on to some more of my personal business.
Am I a horrible friend? Am I too much to handle sometimes? Do people find me to be abrasive or unpleasant to be around? Because if I am please someone tell me. It seems like some of my closest friends exclude me from things that are fun and endearing. (FYI these are NOT the same people that I was talking about before just so you know) It just seems like one minute she is telling me how Erin is getting on her nerves, and the next minute she calls her to hang out and do things with her. Then when she decides to get annoyed with her again I am back on the call list. It just doesn't make sense to me. I really doesn't It happens all the time. ALL THE TIME! I don't know what to do about it. I really don't. Just ignore it or should I confront her about it? I don't think that I mad about it, I think that I am just confused. Which in the long run makes me think that she says the same things about me that she does to Erin. Again which makes me ask those questions in the beginning. Shit I don't know.
I am going to leave now, if you have sat through this all, thanks for being a good friend.
Ok now that it over with on to some more of my personal business.
Am I a horrible friend? Am I too much to handle sometimes? Do people find me to be abrasive or unpleasant to be around? Because if I am please someone tell me. It seems like some of my closest friends exclude me from things that are fun and endearing. (FYI these are NOT the same people that I was talking about before just so you know) It just seems like one minute she is telling me how Erin is getting on her nerves, and the next minute she calls her to hang out and do things with her. Then when she decides to get annoyed with her again I am back on the call list. It just doesn't make sense to me. I really doesn't It happens all the time. ALL THE TIME! I don't know what to do about it. I really don't. Just ignore it or should I confront her about it? I don't think that I mad about it, I think that I am just confused. Which in the long run makes me think that she says the same things about me that she does to Erin. Again which makes me ask those questions in the beginning. Shit I don't know.
I am going to leave now, if you have sat through this all, thanks for being a good friend.