(no subject)
So ever since I've started school I've been pretty busy. I've learned alot of things and hve made a few good friends. Nataly who went to south dade, and Rachel whom is older but has what I think is a gift and it really boosted my belief in god and greater beings..
This year has been both great and hard for me. My dad passed away in November, and that was honestly really hard even though I didn't know him...
So I asked my mom about my sister as a baby because my niece has really bad tantrums.. She said my sister was a happy baby... But then she got quiet.. Which made my heart race, because I guess I felt I knew what was coming.. She said that my sister was molested by my biological dad. My heart sank, I just wanted to pull over ad throw up. I was so emotional and so fucking angry. Because of him my sister hated me as kids. She treated me so badly.. She treated my little brother badly. All of that because of MY dad. I was bitter inside. That whole week I was quiet didn't even do work in school.. I'm still angry inside. I felt stupid for forgiving him before he died. In my head all I could think of is you motherfucker, how could you do that to her? She was only a child. All this regret and anger came over me. I had to just sit and breathe and tell myself what's done is done. I already forgave him so whatever. You know for all the bad things he did, that I did know about I even asked god to forgive him for my sake, to allow him in heaven.. I did all that to find out he did this. I talked to rachel who has this ability to tell you things.. She told me even worse things he's done. But she said I have to open my heart and just let it go. I did once again.. I've been at better ease.
Anyway, I went out on a double date with my friend from school nataly. She's alot like me. She's grown pretty attached to me. Stephen was very social. I was so happy he was because he's so shy. He really made conversation with her boyfriend. He then told me that her bf reminded him of his best friend. Which was cute. Lol.
I'm at work with my Marge. Just talking about all things while watching the pool. I'm very lucky to have the people I have in my life:).
God is good<3
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