regurgitated rat tar-tar
I was dreaming some really, really, really fucked up shit. Read at your own risk, you've been warned... that and it's backwards (because typing them out backwards helps you remember details...)
dreaming of little girls kept it cages “and everyone felt sorry for everyone but me" - slave girl bodies kept in a farm silo? or a water silo? no it was shorter than that, a long rusty ladder that could hide inside, worn with water.. some sort of slowly rotating thing.. more bodies dumped on the indent on the side of the building, perhaps a large open light-it-yourself crematorium - slow-pan to myself (now a man in current times) as a child, pasty white, eyes almost a-glow red and hiding among the bodies.
there was a whole kidnapping murder mystery around, but it was my brother who figured out it was me. was he even my brother? perhaps adopted. I killed everyone in the group but another young girl - now I had three. I ate raw rat guts and maybe some of the people I killed, and as I walked past her shuddering in the cage, I regurgitated/spat some into my hand and threw it at her face. EAT THIS and scurried away from her shocked-horrified-disgusted expression, nearly pressed to the back of her dog-cage’s bars.
delusional, most definitely. my daughter was a clove of garlic in a cupboard, and her suitor was something along the lines of a well made sock puppet with a good gullet. He was a good suitor though, and he tricked me, eating paper before slowly eating a bagel, tiny bite by bite, as to not explode his stomach. But then again, i’m thinking this sock-puppet was just a representation of myself in younger years, screaming at my father, or perhaps father-inlaw to be, when I was 10, that I wanted to be a man but he wouldn’t let me as much as I tried to grow up in his image. There were tears, and rage. Maybe I learned to kill from watching him. Maybe I stayed around the bodies to be like those who died - perhaps he gave them more attention and love before killing them than I, his child? Or maybe I wanted to be dead, just like those slave / servant girls.