Crackpot Theory!
Okay.
New crackpot theory courtesy of me and my discussions with my effing insane friends.
You know how the cookie monster is being forced to eat vegtables and healthy snacks on Sesame Street? Well, we all know cokie monster has an additction. The monster has eaten cookies for YEARS. His addiction, by the logical standpoint would be at the point where he is not only physically addicted, by psychologically attached as well. Taking away his cookies and making him go 'cold turkey' would be like taking away alchohol from a drunk or pulling crack from a junkie. It's not gonna happen.
Now, we all know that during the commercial breaks, cookie monster goes out back of Hooper's and shots up sugar. Sometimes pure sugar, boiled down and diluted with a little water (so that it's easier to inject and doesn't gunk up the syringe), sometimes when he's a little short on cash....gummy bears boiled down and melted to liquid, diluted with small amounts of water like with the sugar. But isn't his general addiction to cookies? Well, who's to say he doesn't get the cookies from a dealer? I don't know about you, but Elmo there seems a little TOO happy, if you get my drift. The guy talks to his fish, for god's sake. ANYWAYS, after obtaining the cookies, to get a quicker reaction and to minimize the chance he's caught with the contraband, he simply uses a spoon to crush the cookies into a fine powder, which he then snorts.
Now, at first I thought Oscar may be his dealer, but that guy is simply, as my sister put it, "jonesin' big time" so that rules him out. Dealing can be profitable, and if he is supplying such an amount of sugary products to a guy cookie monster's size, he should have enough damn money to move out of the trash can. I repeat, THE MAN LIVES IN A TRASH CAN. He doesn't have the money to hold a house or anything material-- he spent it all on crystal meth. C'mon, you all know it's true. He can't be a dealer cuz he has his own problems. He gets it from someone too.
Which led me to think it was Burt. But Burt is so very irritable...almost like someone had cut him off...stop supplying to him. That would explain his short temper and erratic behavior. Ernie is simply there to guide him through withdrawl symptoms. He never liked Burt's addiction anyways.
Then I thought....maybe big bird? He always seems too happy and laid back. Typical pothead. But then again, he lives in a nest in a back alley-- that's one step up from a trashcan, really. He doesn't seem like the dealer type either, no, he too must be gettting it from somwhere.
Linda? At first it seemed like the perfect innocuous cover. Who'd suspect a deaf woman as a dealer? But then you figure, if she was deaf then anyone could just sneak up on her and either knife her, or make off with her stash.
Then we have Elmo. BINGO. He has the goods, he deals them throughout Sesame street. He's overly happy and always seems on a high. perhaps he likes his own goods a little too much. Plus, he's as innocent as can be; who would suspect little Elmo? He comes in contact with all the the afformentioned characters on a daily basis too, allowing him to make transfers and collect.
Chalk it up to big-city filth. Next time you watch that show....remember. Not all is as it seems.
New crackpot theory courtesy of me and my discussions with my effing insane friends.
You know how the cookie monster is being forced to eat vegtables and healthy snacks on Sesame Street? Well, we all know cokie monster has an additction. The monster has eaten cookies for YEARS. His addiction, by the logical standpoint would be at the point where he is not only physically addicted, by psychologically attached as well. Taking away his cookies and making him go 'cold turkey' would be like taking away alchohol from a drunk or pulling crack from a junkie. It's not gonna happen.
Now, we all know that during the commercial breaks, cookie monster goes out back of Hooper's and shots up sugar. Sometimes pure sugar, boiled down and diluted with a little water (so that it's easier to inject and doesn't gunk up the syringe), sometimes when he's a little short on cash....gummy bears boiled down and melted to liquid, diluted with small amounts of water like with the sugar. But isn't his general addiction to cookies? Well, who's to say he doesn't get the cookies from a dealer? I don't know about you, but Elmo there seems a little TOO happy, if you get my drift. The guy talks to his fish, for god's sake. ANYWAYS, after obtaining the cookies, to get a quicker reaction and to minimize the chance he's caught with the contraband, he simply uses a spoon to crush the cookies into a fine powder, which he then snorts.
Now, at first I thought Oscar may be his dealer, but that guy is simply, as my sister put it, "jonesin' big time" so that rules him out. Dealing can be profitable, and if he is supplying such an amount of sugary products to a guy cookie monster's size, he should have enough damn money to move out of the trash can. I repeat, THE MAN LIVES IN A TRASH CAN. He doesn't have the money to hold a house or anything material-- he spent it all on crystal meth. C'mon, you all know it's true. He can't be a dealer cuz he has his own problems. He gets it from someone too.
Which led me to think it was Burt. But Burt is so very irritable...almost like someone had cut him off...stop supplying to him. That would explain his short temper and erratic behavior. Ernie is simply there to guide him through withdrawl symptoms. He never liked Burt's addiction anyways.
Then I thought....maybe big bird? He always seems too happy and laid back. Typical pothead. But then again, he lives in a nest in a back alley-- that's one step up from a trashcan, really. He doesn't seem like the dealer type either, no, he too must be gettting it from somwhere.
Linda? At first it seemed like the perfect innocuous cover. Who'd suspect a deaf woman as a dealer? But then you figure, if she was deaf then anyone could just sneak up on her and either knife her, or make off with her stash.
Then we have Elmo. BINGO. He has the goods, he deals them throughout Sesame street. He's overly happy and always seems on a high. perhaps he likes his own goods a little too much. Plus, he's as innocent as can be; who would suspect little Elmo? He comes in contact with all the the afformentioned characters on a daily basis too, allowing him to make transfers and collect.
Chalk it up to big-city filth. Next time you watch that show....remember. Not all is as it seems.