had a bad day don't talk to me

Apr 04, 2006 19:07

So I'm alive. Barely.
Jesus, I never realized just HOW taxing on my mind and body this whole college rowing thing would be. I'm so exhausted all the time. I'm lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep a night, and if I sleep in on Sunday morning, I can't sleep Sunday night and that screws up my schedule for the next two days.

After this week, I have 5 weeks left until I fly home for the summer. 5 weeks of tests, tests, tests. I thought that tests were supposed to ease up a little before finals week. No, I definately have 2 tests this week, 1 next week, none the next, 1 the next and 4 during finals week.

A week from tomorrow, I, along with the 1V8+, 2V8+ and N8+ are flying to Redwood Shores, California for a race against UCLA, Washington State, Stanford, etc. It will be good times because we get an afternoon or two of free time in San Francisco. And my grandparents/aunt/2 cousins are going to be there to see me race. Then, the next week is ACCs, and then we are here for a week after finals before we go to Oak Ridge, Tennessee for South Eastern Regionals.

I just need this to end. I've been off the injured list for 3 weeks and my back is already giving me trouble again. Sometimes, I don't think I can handle it for another minute but then we all catch together (for a change), or they Elyse will say something funny that makes me wish I could never leave. It's too bad that the negative outweighs the positive, though. If everyone on the team was more like Elyse, life would be much smoother. She and I are a lot alike, so it makes it easy to like her.

Isaac and I are going to be spending a LOT of time apart next year. He's going to Western Washington University and I'm still here at Clemson. I have 3 great roommates lined up and our apartment is going to be the hang out spot, but it won't be the same without him to go to when I can't handle the world. I just need to know that we're going to be alright. I need to know that we'll make it. We've made it this far (1 year, 3 months and 3 days), but the most time we have spent apart in that time period was the 11 days he was back at home over spring break. And I cried almost every night. I can't help but think I'll end up like Chris and Annie, in that I will learn to resent the phone because it is the only way I connect with Isaac in the couple of months at a time that we are apart...

if anything could be this good again the only thing i'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when....
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