(no subject)
OMG, spoilers for next year's Heroes! ... and by that, I mean complete bullshit I made up while drunk and looking at behind-the scenes stuff that had kittens in it
much like the "5 Years Gone" episode last season, a bulk of next year's episodes will deal with an AU concept - namely, a universe where Mohinder snaps and says "dear god, being on the good side is terrible! everyone else is either stupid or crazy, and people keep hitting my nose! Sylar is godawful evil, and he spent this whole year making out with a confused South American girl and flashing his guns! that's it, I'm turning to the Dark Side". he virusizes Maya and Molly runs screaming out the door (to be later snapped up by Elle, which is a whole seperate story arc where it's conclusively proven that nothing good ever happens to Molly, and she's even more doomed to crazy people than Mohinder is). he heals Sylar and they go frolicking out to snatch powers like bandits
somewhere along the way, the two of them acquire a tiny orange tabby kitten. I don't know. maybe it belonged to one of their victims and they take a random liking to it, or maybe Sylar eats a brain that makes him materialize kittens out of thin air. they're both unfettered insane at this point, so it kinda doesn't matter. the point is, the kitten is there to stay, and many poignant shots are shown, jumping from Sylar and Mohinder's latest act of senseless violence to the kitten looking on with a sad perplexed kittenface as if to say "alas Sylar and evil!Mohinder, what new evil hast thou wrought?" (the kitten speaks in a semi-Elizabethan manner, because magic Sylar kittens have EDUCATION).
the kitten causes all kinds of calamities when the Heroes finally catch up to the Sylinder trail of destruction, because you can't kill someone if there's an innocent kitten in the way! at least, this is everyone's thinking but Bennet's and someone (probably Matt) tries to reason with him and ask if he'd kill Sylar while Sylar was holding Mr Muggles anmd Bennet rolls his eyes and basically reminds us all that if you aren't Claire, you really have no guarentee that Bennet won't just pistolwhip you for looking at him cockeyed, and he continues his anti-Sylinder vendetta, kitten or no kitten.
Matt and Nathan strike out on their own (airborne of course, and obviously this timeline takes place before the finale-ending events of which we shall not speak, so they don't matter here), and swoop down on Sylar while he's cackling over some newly emptied brainhole, and snatch the kitten right out of his hands. and then we get another wonderful look at the nice ... kind of ... well, not actively bloodthirsty part of Sylar (much like the whole doings with his mother, up to and including killing her, but stopping before he fingerpainted explosions with her blood) and he's all "NoooOOOoooOOO not my little baby Timex!" (cause it's all clocks with that boy, all the time) and he and Mohinder are all "oh no, what do we do" until one of them remembers that Sylar has telekinesis and can just take the damn kitten back without even getting up, and the chase begins anew
I think I'll leave you there - I mean, God, watch the damn season yourself, you lazy bastards. other plotlines to be included
- Elle's touching relationship with Molly, where she tries to relive her own lost childhood through the world's most traumatized 10 year old. this has ... mixed results - a wrong move in a game of Operation sends Molly flying across the room, and even if you CAN use your hands as defibrulators, you probably shouldn't do it to someone everyday. will Molly live to someday spend 5 minutes in the presence of someone without a major psychosis? can Elle get through a session of "Barbies" without melting the heads? will Mohinder's apartment even exist by the time he gets home?
- Matt and Nathan's delightful buddy-comedy routine continues ever on, no matter what calamities befall them - like the time when Matt wants to truss up a basket on Nathan and make like he's a hot air balloon, and Nathan rebels against this assault to his mighty Petrelli dignity and flies off in a drunken beardy huff, or when Angela Petrelli climbs a clocktower and tries to shoot them out of the sky because god dammit, this is not what she planned!
- Bennet's sly sneakiness is somewhat hampered by the fact that sexy funk music accompanys his every movement now, along with a chorus of people gasping "damn! that noah! he's a bad mammerjammer! oh my!". he's especially disturbed to find that no amount of shooting will stop this, and the Haitian is unwilling to lend any assistance in the matter (what the hell happened to the Haitian anyway? one second he was back in the saddle with HRG, and then he disappeared. I'm drunk, so I'm allowing for the possibility that they totally explained where he is and I don't remember it)
- West just fucking explodes. Peter doesn't explode, but maybe he shuts up for five minutes and stops being so obnoxiously invincible for 5 minutes more. it's like when Superman has fucking super embroidery skills and super toenail clippings - what's the fucking point of anyone else?
- Micah and Monica continue to be the goddamn most adorable crime-fighting duo ever, eventually upgrading to include Claire. villians just sort of stop even trying to fight back. imagine fighting them - you feel filthy and dispicable even contemplating it, don't you? I haven't decided if Niki is still alive or not, because, much like the actual writers, I have no idea what to do with her
- Ando and Hiro spend the season at the carnival to recover from the previous season's ordeal of neglect and angst, respectively. Ando wins Hiro a knockoff Darth Vader, and then they ride Nisson Versa bumper cars long into the night. a fireworks display is enjoyed, although it's later revealed to be the distant bursts of Granny Petrelli-manned firearms trying to take out Air Nathan and passenger. the helix symbol will no doubt appear here
it's all going to be pretty bitchin'. I'm going to go make KoolAid to cut the incipient hangover slightly. damn you, Mariel, damn you and your whiskey
much like the "5 Years Gone" episode last season, a bulk of next year's episodes will deal with an AU concept - namely, a universe where Mohinder snaps and says "dear god, being on the good side is terrible! everyone else is either stupid or crazy, and people keep hitting my nose! Sylar is godawful evil, and he spent this whole year making out with a confused South American girl and flashing his guns! that's it, I'm turning to the Dark Side". he virusizes Maya and Molly runs screaming out the door (to be later snapped up by Elle, which is a whole seperate story arc where it's conclusively proven that nothing good ever happens to Molly, and she's even more doomed to crazy people than Mohinder is). he heals Sylar and they go frolicking out to snatch powers like bandits
somewhere along the way, the two of them acquire a tiny orange tabby kitten. I don't know. maybe it belonged to one of their victims and they take a random liking to it, or maybe Sylar eats a brain that makes him materialize kittens out of thin air. they're both unfettered insane at this point, so it kinda doesn't matter. the point is, the kitten is there to stay, and many poignant shots are shown, jumping from Sylar and Mohinder's latest act of senseless violence to the kitten looking on with a sad perplexed kittenface as if to say "alas Sylar and evil!Mohinder, what new evil hast thou wrought?" (the kitten speaks in a semi-Elizabethan manner, because magic Sylar kittens have EDUCATION).
the kitten causes all kinds of calamities when the Heroes finally catch up to the Sylinder trail of destruction, because you can't kill someone if there's an innocent kitten in the way! at least, this is everyone's thinking but Bennet's and someone (probably Matt) tries to reason with him and ask if he'd kill Sylar while Sylar was holding Mr Muggles anmd Bennet rolls his eyes and basically reminds us all that if you aren't Claire, you really have no guarentee that Bennet won't just pistolwhip you for looking at him cockeyed, and he continues his anti-Sylinder vendetta, kitten or no kitten.
Matt and Nathan strike out on their own (airborne of course, and obviously this timeline takes place before the finale-ending events of which we shall not speak, so they don't matter here), and swoop down on Sylar while he's cackling over some newly emptied brainhole, and snatch the kitten right out of his hands. and then we get another wonderful look at the nice ... kind of ... well, not actively bloodthirsty part of Sylar (much like the whole doings with his mother, up to and including killing her, but stopping before he fingerpainted explosions with her blood) and he's all "NoooOOOoooOOO not my little baby Timex!" (cause it's all clocks with that boy, all the time) and he and Mohinder are all "oh no, what do we do" until one of them remembers that Sylar has telekinesis and can just take the damn kitten back without even getting up, and the chase begins anew
I think I'll leave you there - I mean, God, watch the damn season yourself, you lazy bastards. other plotlines to be included
- Elle's touching relationship with Molly, where she tries to relive her own lost childhood through the world's most traumatized 10 year old. this has ... mixed results - a wrong move in a game of Operation sends Molly flying across the room, and even if you CAN use your hands as defibrulators, you probably shouldn't do it to someone everyday. will Molly live to someday spend 5 minutes in the presence of someone without a major psychosis? can Elle get through a session of "Barbies" without melting the heads? will Mohinder's apartment even exist by the time he gets home?
- Matt and Nathan's delightful buddy-comedy routine continues ever on, no matter what calamities befall them - like the time when Matt wants to truss up a basket on Nathan and make like he's a hot air balloon, and Nathan rebels against this assault to his mighty Petrelli dignity and flies off in a drunken beardy huff, or when Angela Petrelli climbs a clocktower and tries to shoot them out of the sky because god dammit, this is not what she planned!
- Bennet's sly sneakiness is somewhat hampered by the fact that sexy funk music accompanys his every movement now, along with a chorus of people gasping "damn! that noah! he's a bad mammerjammer! oh my!". he's especially disturbed to find that no amount of shooting will stop this, and the Haitian is unwilling to lend any assistance in the matter (what the hell happened to the Haitian anyway? one second he was back in the saddle with HRG, and then he disappeared. I'm drunk, so I'm allowing for the possibility that they totally explained where he is and I don't remember it)
- West just fucking explodes. Peter doesn't explode, but maybe he shuts up for five minutes and stops being so obnoxiously invincible for 5 minutes more. it's like when Superman has fucking super embroidery skills and super toenail clippings - what's the fucking point of anyone else?
- Micah and Monica continue to be the goddamn most adorable crime-fighting duo ever, eventually upgrading to include Claire. villians just sort of stop even trying to fight back. imagine fighting them - you feel filthy and dispicable even contemplating it, don't you? I haven't decided if Niki is still alive or not, because, much like the actual writers, I have no idea what to do with her
- Ando and Hiro spend the season at the carnival to recover from the previous season's ordeal of neglect and angst, respectively. Ando wins Hiro a knockoff Darth Vader, and then they ride Nisson Versa bumper cars long into the night. a fireworks display is enjoyed, although it's later revealed to be the distant bursts of Granny Petrelli-manned firearms trying to take out Air Nathan and passenger. the helix symbol will no doubt appear here
it's all going to be pretty bitchin'. I'm going to go make KoolAid to cut the incipient hangover slightly. damn you, Mariel, damn you and your whiskey