(no subject)

Feb 24, 2007 10:27


Today I stay inside
sanctuary of solitude
Never belonged because of skin deep difference
never returned because I'm better than the rest
They call me a spoiled brat behind my back
when they do not care, how their children act
Yesterday I went to work
Future past and life
People take hour long coffee breaks
then insult me behind my back
I don't even comment because I'm at the office for business
not to get payed to drink coffee and smoke ciggerettes
I'm only here to learn and earn hours of experiance
but what do I learn from dogfucking liar backstabbers
Tommorrow I'll play music
So Aspirationless
not knowing if theres any point not knowing if im getting any better
not knowing if anyone will hear my music hear my voice
I'll sit alone in darkness and play my finger tips away
whats the point, tonight I play alone, with nothing left to say
Last night I had alot to drink,
Probably about five beers and four shots worth of whiskey
Quentin tryed teaching me how to talk like a bad ass but I dunno.
We had alot to talk about.  we ussually do when we drink.
Lately people have been trying to piss us off with insults
and hey, they were successful.  Calling us dogfuckers and
making stupid jokes about us fucking around while dads gone
we're not the ones putting in hours that we werent working
we're not the ones taking 45 minute coffee breaks every day
and we're definitely not the ones doing the easy work
If something goes seriously wrong involving sewage
or furniture or heights or busted pipes or anything that sucks
we cant seem to get anyone to do real work, who takes care of it
yes they succeeded in pissing me off, but not for the reasons...
ah fuck it. point is they've pissed me off and Q too.
I gotta start stepping up.  I gotta learn to be more of an ass
because I dont like anyone here.  never did and never will
constant bullshit, and im already treated like an dick
might as well start acting like a dick, It's not my nature
but those bitches push me I don't fucking like to be pushed
They pushed me enough when I was out numbered out gunned
and outta options, while now were alot older, no more.
The last of our weed is gone. It's gone all gone finito
figures, I'm surprised it lasted this long, honestly.
esspecially the way things are going. I feel sick
my mouth is gross and im hungover yet I still wanna get drunk
again, I wanna be drunk 24/7 like a fucking lush
But beer is in limited supply also... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I've gotten into the habit of shotgunning beer
stabbing holes in it with my trusty blade and guzzling it away
I could deal with another one right about now
If I were drunk all the time I wonder how I'd act
would I end up being more forgiving or stand up more.
...
It's best im not constantly drunk, that'd be like giving up
I dont feel like playing guitar anymore
ever since i came here I feel it less,the music.
I wanna play music about how I hate it here and hate the people
Anger consumes my lust and fire consumes my soul
pleh.
Todays the beggining of a weekend.  what to do should I clean
should I pack away my things should I play guitar
Should I walk the dog, Should I get drunk Should I do work
Should I do homework I know I shouldn't play video games
Ive got all the time in the two days...
I should go to asshole boot camp
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