Decisions
The emperor cannot understand how generous I have been. He cannot know how many decisions I have made that have accommodated him against the instincts of the Entire. He does not appreciate how fortunate he is that I am trusted and honored for my accomplishments. They would have me depend upon the punishment above all else. But, though it is effective, the punishment is a crude and unsophisticated instrument with which to bend the will of another. Mollari’s mind is richer- more fertile- than that. He can be shaped by other means.
Mollari is a fascinating creature. His desires, his desperate passion, his curious sexual longings, his foolish affections, his impotent attempts at defiance, his tears of pain and anguish- they are all beautiful in their way. I confess that at times I watch him from the shadows- the darkened corners of the royal palace- and feel a twinge of paternal feeling for him. He is ignorant, lost, rudderless- a child in the great scheme of the Universe. But the great shadow, the darkness, lies inside him. He needs our guidance to realize the full extent of his potential.
So I have made certain allowances.
The Entire is disturbed that I have allowed the Narn to live in the palace. And it is indeed a risk, for there are precious few beings- perhaps none- who possess so singular a position in the architecture of Mollari’s psyche. This was seen in the joining. The Narn is a constant presence in his memories, his fantasies and his apprehension of his future. So often did Citizen G’Kar appear in the avalanche of his thoughts, in fact, that it approached the level of obsession. It is right to be concerned over the strength of this association. Mollari believes he will one day die by this Narn’s hand. And perhaps, in inviting G’Kar to stay, he is seeking more than simple gratification and amusement.
I did not need to be reminded of the danger and the chastisement I endured from the Entire was an irritation. But my self-possession remained in tact as I urged my brothers to recall the others: the girl Senna, for whose protection Mollari has often come to heel; the pathetic Vir Cotto, whom Mollari once drove away when it was demanded despite the profound, ridiculous affection they share between them; and the Empress Timov, whom Mollari forcibly exiled despite the obvious strength of his sexual desire.
“In every case, he has taken the proper path. He has, in all cases, kept in mind our goals,” I said. “It is his love, my brothers- his desire to shield those he cares for- that has been, is and will be our most effective tool of persuasion. There is no reason to believe that Citizen G’Kar cannot be used to similar ends.”
We are still wary, they replied. But we will trust in your wisdom, Shiv’kala.
And so the Narn remains. Mollari will have his companionship for a time. But we will watch. We will always watch.
Mollari is a fascinating creature. His desires, his desperate passion, his curious sexual longings, his foolish affections, his impotent attempts at defiance, his tears of pain and anguish- they are all beautiful in their way. I confess that at times I watch him from the shadows- the darkened corners of the royal palace- and feel a twinge of paternal feeling for him. He is ignorant, lost, rudderless- a child in the great scheme of the Universe. But the great shadow, the darkness, lies inside him. He needs our guidance to realize the full extent of his potential.
So I have made certain allowances.
The Entire is disturbed that I have allowed the Narn to live in the palace. And it is indeed a risk, for there are precious few beings- perhaps none- who possess so singular a position in the architecture of Mollari’s psyche. This was seen in the joining. The Narn is a constant presence in his memories, his fantasies and his apprehension of his future. So often did Citizen G’Kar appear in the avalanche of his thoughts, in fact, that it approached the level of obsession. It is right to be concerned over the strength of this association. Mollari believes he will one day die by this Narn’s hand. And perhaps, in inviting G’Kar to stay, he is seeking more than simple gratification and amusement.
I did not need to be reminded of the danger and the chastisement I endured from the Entire was an irritation. But my self-possession remained in tact as I urged my brothers to recall the others: the girl Senna, for whose protection Mollari has often come to heel; the pathetic Vir Cotto, whom Mollari once drove away when it was demanded despite the profound, ridiculous affection they share between them; and the Empress Timov, whom Mollari forcibly exiled despite the obvious strength of his sexual desire.
“In every case, he has taken the proper path. He has, in all cases, kept in mind our goals,” I said. “It is his love, my brothers- his desire to shield those he cares for- that has been, is and will be our most effective tool of persuasion. There is no reason to believe that Citizen G’Kar cannot be used to similar ends.”
We are still wary, they replied. But we will trust in your wisdom, Shiv’kala.
And so the Narn remains. Mollari will have his companionship for a time. But we will watch. We will always watch.