Just When You Think Things Are OK.....
I got an emergency text from G about finances so had to call him. Turns out he hasn't really been budgeting and the joint account is overdrawn. I called the bank with him in one ear and me in the other going over all of the outgoings, very few of which were mine. He told me he just didn't realise the impact and gets paid on Wednesday. I was livid. We have discussed this before and he agreed, as part of me moving out, that everything would be fine through the end of May. It looks like his new relationship is costing him a fair bit of money if the cash going out is anything to go by. In fact he was out of town with his girlfriend so that must have been a large chunk as it is.
Anyway, I shouldn't have said anything but told him I was bloody angry with him and that it was one of the reasons why I wasn't speaking to him at the moment. I told him I felt like he really fucked me about. That he wouldn't do anything about the problems in our relationship and the minute it looked like we might work something out in January, he took off with someone else. He told me he couldn't believe what I was saying, that I left him. I said I didn't have a choice, he said I did and I responded, what I was supposed to stay with you and never have sex? He didn't respond. I told him to consider that perhaps he really didn't want to be with me anymore, which is why he didn't want to have sex and which is why he refused to do anything to work on the relationship. It also might be why he is apparently having great sex now with no problems. He told me he decided he didn't want to in January and I said it would've been nice if he would've told me instead of just immediately running off with someone else. He was scathing about me wanting to have sex with J and being poly - claiming these were the reasons - and I reminded him that in fact he encouraged me to do so because he and I had no sex life!
In the end he ended the conversation and threatened to hang up though I wasn't yelling or anything. He said he wanted to sit down and talk it out and I told him to send me a text to let me know the bank account was sorted but that I would contact him if and when I wanted to talk.
Ok - I know I should've just hung up after the whole financial conversation but frankly, fuck him for contacting me. He could've called the bank and sorted it himself. I am not his bloody banker. In a way I am glad I told him what I thought. The last thing I said of substance was that I didn't leave him because I didn't love him. He told me that's not what he felt. And there it ends. Fuck him anyway - I reached 8,000 words on my dissertation today. :)
Anyway, I shouldn't have said anything but told him I was bloody angry with him and that it was one of the reasons why I wasn't speaking to him at the moment. I told him I felt like he really fucked me about. That he wouldn't do anything about the problems in our relationship and the minute it looked like we might work something out in January, he took off with someone else. He told me he couldn't believe what I was saying, that I left him. I said I didn't have a choice, he said I did and I responded, what I was supposed to stay with you and never have sex? He didn't respond. I told him to consider that perhaps he really didn't want to be with me anymore, which is why he didn't want to have sex and which is why he refused to do anything to work on the relationship. It also might be why he is apparently having great sex now with no problems. He told me he decided he didn't want to in January and I said it would've been nice if he would've told me instead of just immediately running off with someone else. He was scathing about me wanting to have sex with J and being poly - claiming these were the reasons - and I reminded him that in fact he encouraged me to do so because he and I had no sex life!
In the end he ended the conversation and threatened to hang up though I wasn't yelling or anything. He said he wanted to sit down and talk it out and I told him to send me a text to let me know the bank account was sorted but that I would contact him if and when I wanted to talk.
Ok - I know I should've just hung up after the whole financial conversation but frankly, fuck him for contacting me. He could've called the bank and sorted it himself. I am not his bloody banker. In a way I am glad I told him what I thought. The last thing I said of substance was that I didn't leave him because I didn't love him. He told me that's not what he felt. And there it ends. Fuck him anyway - I reached 8,000 words on my dissertation today. :)