In Flagrante; or How Jack Perfected the Art of Perfect Timing.
Title: In Flagrante; or How Jack Perfected the Art of Perfect Timing.
Author: LondonBeauty
Rating: NC-17 to be safe.
Characters/Pairings: Martha, Tom, Jack, Sarah Jane, Gwen, Ianto (Parings: Martha/Tom, Jack/Ianto).
Spoilers: I can't think of any, it might help if you've seen up to Journey's End (DW) and Exit Wounds (TW), but that's just cautionary.
Disclaimer: None of the Whoniverse characters belong to me.
Summary: Jack really should learn how to phone ahead.
Author’s notes: Apologies for the terrible science, the meteorite plot is incidental really, but if it makes your brain melt anyway then I'm very sorry. This fic was written for the martha_milligan community's inaugural porn battle, using the prompt 'Caught in the act (by anyone except the Doctor)'. A huge thanks to persiflage_1 for being a patient beta reader.
Word Count: 4920
The Hub, Cardiff.
"Almost there, just a couple more seconds."
"Sarah Jane, I really can't thank you enough for this."
"I could hardly refuse, could I? Especially seeing as you asked so nicely."
Captain Jack Harkness flashed his trademark smile. "I'm always nice, well, I am when there's a beautiful woman involved, and I'm entirely at her mercy."
"You, and the rest of the planet if I'm inclined to believe your story of a meteorite the size of the Titanic hurtling towards us at a terrifying pace. Which of course I am, why else would I fix your Vortex, uh?"
"Manipulator."
"Vortex Manipulator. Even the name frightens me, especially in the hands of Torchwood."
"You aren't doing this as a favour for Torchwood, you're doing it for me." Sarah Jane raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Ok and Torchwood, but this is so important, and with my teleporter working again, we're the only people who can make this situation right. U.N.I.T. just doesn't have the capability to get to it in time, plus, you have to admit, we are pretty damn good at blowing the crap out of things."
"That's what I'm worried about." Jack opened his mouth to protest, but she hastened, "It's ok, I trust you."
"Thank you, and you're ok with going against The Doctor like this, by fixing the teleporter?"
"Well, we can't sit on our laurels our whole lives waiting for him to swan in and rescue us, can we now? He gave me this sonic lipstick to do good, to use it in precisely the same situations he would if he were here. And anyway, I'll have you know Jack, I'm not the compliant head girl type people assume I am, if I feel the need to go against The Doctor, I will, he isn't infallible."
"Oh, I know. For what it's worth, I recognised the rebellious twinkle in your eyes from the get go." He gave her a wink.
The sonic lipstick gave a final whirr and then beeped. "There, it should be ready. So, what was the plan?"
"Well, Ianto is due back any minute now with the explosives. Gwen is keeping a close eye on the speed and movement of the meteorite, I'm going to need the precise co-ordinates of it for the wrist computer so I land squarely on the rock, and not floating around space like a jackass."
"And you've got the necessary equipment to breathe?"
"Of course, having unprecedented access to alien technology has its benefits, as you can imagine."
"When it comes to you, I dare not!" Sarah Jane teased. She handed Jack the wrist band, and he eagerly strapped it on. "Would you do me a favour, before Ianto gets back?"
"Of course, anything."
"Give the teleporter a test run, before you handle all those explosives. The thought of something going wrong, with all that power, it..."
"I understand, of course I will. I won't go to the rock yet though, there's no sense putting myself in extra danger before the main show."
"Ok, that's fair enough. So where will you go?"
Jack ran his hand through his hair, and considered the question for a moment. After only a few seconds he broke out into a devilish grin, "Oh, I know exactly where I'm going!" He rushed to a computer and typed quickly. "Ha, got 'em!"
"Got what?" Sarah Jane chuckled at the sudden whirlwind of activity.
"The co-ordinates of where I want to go, right down to the last centimetre. Oh, this is going to be awesome!" Jack entered the numbers into the keypad, "I'll be back before you know it. Hey, if this works, I could always drop you off in Hawaii, you wouldn't even have to pack your passport."
"Maybe when it looks like we can have the week off from saving the human race from impending doom. That'll be the day."
"Wouldn't it just?" Jack pressed the final number and braced himself. "OK, this is it, wish me luck."
"Good luck Jack!" There was a sudden, bright flash, and with that, he was gone.
* * *
Martha Jones and Tom Milligan's house, London.
Martha Jones wrapped her bathrobe around her, and slumped down onto the sofa. She had needed that long soak in the bath, long haul air travel always made her feel grubby, not to mention how hectic things always were at the U.N.I.T. New York office, especially the last days with the revelation of an impending meteorite. Things were incredibly tense down at U.N.I.T. HQ, a lot of finger pointing about who was to blame that the situation wasn't discovered earlier, and squabbling about the best course of action to take. It was now known that Torchwood had a plan in place, which was cause for much hand wringing and added tension in the offices, but she was somewhat relieved. She trusted Jack implicitly, like he trusted her, so she jumped at the chance to volunteer and be U.N.I.T.s official liaison at Torchwood; any chance to see the team again. She still had so much to get done, not least get out of Jack how Torchwood were going to manage to get to the huge hulk of rock. He wasn't being terribly forthcoming with the facts, which couldn't be a good thing, but on the other hand, maybe the less she knew, the better, at least that way she wouldn't have to feel guilty about keeping U.N.I.T. in the dark. She felt a muscle in her neck tense up, and massaged it with one hand.
"Hey, that bath was supposed to help you unwind, don't tell me you're still stewing over things?" Tom sat beside her and pulled her towards him, taking over where she had been rubbing her neck.
"Yeah, sorry. It's just so hard to sit back and do nothing while all this is going on."
"I know, and don't think I'm not freaking out about this either, I mean the end of the world is really going to mess up our weekend plans! But right now, there's nothing you can do about it, you're not leaving for Cardiff until early morning right? So why waste time fretting, when there's other things we could be up to?"
Martha craned her head around too look at him. "Like what?"
He gently tilted her face up, and planted his lips tenderly on hers. "Like that, or maybe like this." He leaned forward and kissed her again, this time more deeply, letting his tongue languidly glide over hers, savouring every moment. She broke off the kiss briefly to manoeuvre herself around to face him, then gripping his shoulders to steady herself, swung her leg over his and straddled him, propping herself up on her knees. She pressed her torso against his, continuing the kiss, this time with more urgency. Tom slid his hands down her body, starting at her back, until reaching her butt. "You know, that robe is really cramping my style here."
Martha grinned and stood up. She undid the tie and let the robe fall to her feet, revealing a light blue silk chemise, leaving very little to the imagination. "Is this better?"
"Hmmm, I think so, I'd have to take a closer look to be sure." He placed his hands on her hips, and pulled her down on to his lap. He slid his hands up the skirt, gently kneading her buttocks, and she started grinding her hips in time with his hands.
After a couple of minutes, Martha leaned back, slightly out of breath. "You know, this isn't exactly fair, you're getting way more out of this than me at the moment." Tom looked back with a gormless expression on his face; once he got beyond a certain point of arousal, most higher brain functions seemed to become minimal. "Your jeans, your shirt, they're kinda cramping my style here!"
"Ah, gotcha!" Tom immediately got to work undressing, pulling his shirt off in one clean movement, then fidgeting with the button on his jeans, the more he fought with it, the less it was co-operating with his fingers. "For fuck's sake!"
Martha giggled, "Here, let me, I don't want you doing yourself any damage for something that can wait a few more minutes."
"Try telling that to The Captain."
"Oh my God, you're not still calling it that?!"
"Well, it used to be The Colonel, but I thought after the good work he's put in since our relationship, he was due a promotion."
Martha laughed, "Well, I'll give him that, but really, nicknames for genitalia are so tacky." Tom pursed his lips into a mock pout, she rolled her eyes, "OK then, as long as it's a change from The Captain. That always puts me in mind of someone else. How about Lance Corporal?" Martha giggled again, this time at the look of triumph on his face.
"Really, as good as that huh?"
"Oh yeah, I'd say he's put in some admirable service! Now, come here before you start making terribly puns about 'honourable discharge' or whatever else."
Tom chuckled, "Oh God, that's terrible, as if I would!" His laugh soon turned into a low, throaty groan, as his trousers fell to his ankles, and she started working her hand along the length of his erection. With her other hand she held onto his shoulder, and ran her tongue lightly over his chest, stopping at his nipple and gently grazing her teeth over it. "Oh God, I don't know how much I can take."
"Where's that famous Milligan stamina?"
"After three weeks of nothing but fond memories and phone sex to keep me going, it's pretty much evaporated."
"We'd better not waste any time then." She worked her fingers under the band of his boxer shorts, and tugged down. He kicked the underwear away, and lifted her up. She circled her legs around his waist, and he backed up until he could fall back onto the sofa. Martha reached below, and found his cock. She guided it to her entrance, and let herself hover above him, teasing both of them.
"Do you need me to, I mean, are you ok to..?" He moved his hand to her crotch.
"Oh yeah, I'm ready. You're not the only one who's been going without the last few weeks." She lowered herself down, taking him in slowly. Her breath hitched and she bit her lip, Tom circled his arms around her and kissed her deeply. He moved his hands down to her hips and leaned back, she leaned forward and grabbed the back of the sofa for leverage. They moved their hips in sync with each other, his hands guiding the increasing rhythm. They soon found their ideal pace, and let their bodies take over, Martha threw her head back and groaned as he started working her clit with his fingers. She came quickly, and knew he wouldn't be far behind, she adjusted herself so she was on her knees and clutching his shoulders, and was about to lower herself down again, but was interrupted by a flash.
"Surprise!" Jack gave his best razzle-dazzle smile and jazz hands.
Martha froze, mid remount. Behind the sofa, facing them was Captain Jack Harkness. "Oh my God, Jack!"
Tom had been too caught up in the moment to realise that their party of two had become a trio. "Uh, what? My name's Tom, Oh my God Martha!" Martha had already jumped off him, looking wide-eyed and mortified, he assumed this was because of the massive faux pas she had just committed. Tom stood up, his body was still willing, but his mind was already racing. She was trying to protest, but before she could spit out what she was trying to say, Tom was distracted.
"Oh my God, Tom! This is Tom, right?" Jack looked to Martha who nodded, not looking up and hurriedly trying to gather her bathrobe around her. Jack took a step back to take in the sight, disappointed that Martha had had enough wits about her to cover up before he could see anything, but he'd happily take this as a runner-up prize. "Well, I can certainly tell what Martha sees in you, am I right?" Jack chuckled, and this time Martha did make eye contact, but she wasn't laughing.
"And who the hell are you?" Tom was standing there in all his glory, he hadn't yet regained the presence of mind to realise he was standing there in the nude, at full mast, in front of a complete stranger.
"Oh, right! We haven't officially met, I'm Jack, Captain Jack Harkness if you want to be formal, which would be a bit rich coming from the guy pointing a loaded weapon in my direction. You know, I'm the guy who occasionally whisks your girlfriend off...uh, I mean I whisk her away to Cardiff to play catch up, we're old friends." Jack looked to her to confirm this.
"Jack, what in God's name do you think you're doing? How did you ... what are you..... what the hell's the matter with you?" Martha picked up a cushion and threw it to Tom, "And for crying out loud, will you cover that up."
"Ooh, I guess you're not ready to see the funny side yet. OK, I'll go put the kettle on and make us some coffee, and we can all just calm down."
"Coffee? I don't see how you're going to manage to drink it with MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT! I'm still waiting for an explanation here!" Martha's eyes were now wide with fury rather than shock or embarrassment.
"An Irish coffee then? No?" Jack looked at his phone, which he had switched off before he had teleported in. "Oh, will you look at that, it's Gwen calling me, it's probably urgent, I should take this."
"I didn't hear it ringing." Martha had her arms folded, and a stern expression on her face, Jack noted how much it made her look like her mother.
"You should know me well enough by now that I'd have it on vibrate." He gave her a wink, her expression didn't change. "Actually, you know what, I should go, she's probably calling to say Ianto's back with the explosives and we need to get ready for tomorrow."
"Go? And how are you going to do that?"
"The same way I arrived." Jack strode toward her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and Tom a pat on the arm, which on his bare skin sounded like an almighty slap. Before either Martha or Tom could react, Jack was busily keying away at the contraption on his wrist. "Tom, it was a pleasure meeting you finally, Martha, you're looking beautiful as always. Sorry I couldn't stay longer, see you later, bye!" And as quickly as Captain Jack had reappeared into Martha's life, he was gone.
* * *
The Hub, Cardiff.
The cheers were reverberating off the walls, there were only three people awaiting his return, but for all the joyous whooping and applause, there may as well have been a hundred.
"See, this is how you should always greet me when I walk into a room." Jack had been trying his best to look as cool and composed as he could, but he never could hold off his hundred watt grin for long. Sarah Jane, Gwen and Ianto were euphoric, he had done a quick scan of the room and there was a notable absence - Martha. He felt his stomach sink a little, had he offended her so much that she'd actually shunned her work to avoid him? That was very unlike her, so what if something had happened and she couldn't be there? In the early hours of that morning, Gwen had noticed that the meteorite was picking up pace; if they left it any longer it would be too late. Gwen had phoned Martha and told her, there was no way Martha would make it to Cardiff in time, but she could still contact U.N.I.T., they needed to be on guard; it was up to them and their technology on bases all around the globe to destroy any remaining fragments that failed to burn up on entry to the Earth's atmosphere. What if, in the rush to get to Cardiff as soon as she could, there was an accident? He knew this was a silly thing to dwell on, it was the adrenaline causing his mind to go into overdrive. Right now he was going to focus on the present, which involved Ianto striding toward him, beaming.
"You don't need anyone to tell you you're brilliant, but, you're brilliant!" Ianto had already grabbed him into a bear hug before he could respond in his usual, self-effacing way. Jack broke their hug slightly, enough to plant a hard kiss on Ianto's lips.
"Uh, a firm handshake will do just fine for me, thank you." Sarah Jane was standing behind Ianto, giving her coy grin.
"Oh, you don't get off that easily Sarah Jane Smith!" Jack scooped her into his arms and twirled her around. "Thank you, without your help this would never have been possible"
"This coming from the man who's just been in outer space!" Sarah stood on her toes, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank YOU."
Jack looked down to where Gwen was standing, she was still monitoring the computer, checking everything was ok, whilst shuffling impatiently on the spot. She was obviously eager to join in the festivities, but the last checks had to be done, before they could relax a little knowing U.N.I.T. were now in control. "What, so my safe return isn't enough to break you away from your Solitaire?"
"Nah, at least the whole solar system has to have been in peril before you can impress me that much. And ... done!" Jack was already behind her, she turned around and gave him a big squeeze. "How are you feeling, any side effects, feeling light-headed, shortness of breath, anything like that?"
"Fit as a fiddle!"
Gwen took hold of Jack's shoulder and guided him round, so they both had their backs to Sarah Jane and Ianto. She leaned in conspiratorially, "When you've got a second, you should go up to the office, we've got a visitor, I'd say it's important. We've got everything sorted down here, I'll call you if anything arises."
"Is it Martha?"
Gwen nodded, she now had her arms folded tight, and was pursing her lips. Jack turned on his heel and made his way to the office, as he got to the door he could hear the laughter from the others, they were rightfully jubilant, but all he was feeling at that moment was the butterflies in his stomach. Martha was sitting there, and she wasn't looking best pleased.
"Martha, you got here all right? I'm sorry about the rush, it was unavoidable."
"No problem, I understand." She was being perfectly civil, but her words were clipped. About now, Jack mused, they'd usually be hugging, celebrating the success of the operation, and just happy to be in each other's company again. But he wasn't going to push it this time, her body language was defensive, and he was going to take all the time it needed to get things back on track.
"Listen, Martha, I am so sorry about yesterday, I swear on all my lifetimes that I never knew that, well..."
"It's unlike you to be lost for words Jack."
"I'm just trying not to be indiscreet and mess thing up even more. If you want to slap me that's totally fine."
"I'm not going to hit you Jack."
"I know, that's not your style. Anything, you name it."
"Well, there is something."
"Great! Anything, we need to set this right."
"Well, you got an eye full of us, it's only fair that things are, evened up."
"Well, to be honest I really didn't see enough, I mean, much of you."
"That's not the point Jack, it was still a very intimate moment you interrupted, it left me feeling very exposed. "
"I know, and I'm so sorry, you know that's the last thing I'd ever want. What is it you wanted me to do?" Martha pointed him in the direction of a box, with the words 'Open Me' written on the top, that she'd put under his desk. He sat on the edge of his desk and pulled the box up, placing it next to him and getting to work opening it at once. He made short work of the wrapping and opened the box, only to see another smaller box inside. He opened that one too, and found a large, padded envelope, and inside that another smaller envelope. He could feel something in this envelope, glancing up at Martha, he hesitated before opening it. "I honestly hope that, whatever this is, it will make you feel better, and make things ok between us again."
"I think it will, go ahead."
Jack gingerly opened the final envelope, and pulled out a photograph. He stared at it, dumbfounded. It was a polaroid, and on it was Tom. He was reclining on a bed, wearing nothing but Martha's blue chemise, and a strategically placed cushion, the one he'd used to cover himself the night before. Beneath the photo, scribbled in black marker pen, was a note, not in Martha's writing:
'The next time you want to catch an eyeful, there's no need to go to such great lengths, this should hold you over. If it gets too much, M and I are thinking of selling tickets, we'll reserve you a front row ticket.'
Jack was shaken from his daze from the sound of Martha, she was leaning against the other side of the desk for support, doubled up with laughter. "Oh my God, your face!"
"Wait, so, you're not pissed off at me?"
"Jack, as if something like that is going to ruin our friendship!"
"But last night, you were ready to strangle me!"
"Yeah, sorry about that, I get grouchy if I'm all worked up, and get interrupted." Jack joined in with her laughter.
"I never would have imagined. So, we're ok?"
"Of course we are, come on, you have to admit it was funny."
"What, this now, or last night?"
"Well, I was talking about last night, but seriously, the look on your face when you opened the envelope, I wish I'd taken a photo."
"Don't worry, I've got you covered, I managed to get it on my camera phone." Gwen was standing in the doorway, grinning as madly as Martha.
"Wait, were you in on this?"
"'Fraid so, Martha filled me in last night. I provided the boxes, she was just going to leave the photo on your desk, where's the mystery in that?!"
"I feel so used!" Jack was clearly in his element again. "Is everything ok out there?"
"Almost perfect, except for U.N.I.T. fannying around with their bloody protocol as usual, sorry, no offence Martha."
"None taken."
"I'll get back to the others, I bet you've got some serious catching up to do."
"Thanks Gwen." Martha smiled at her warmly.
"Yeah, thanks Gwen, "Jack repeated sarcastically, his grin never leaving his face.
Gwen closed the door behind her, Jack stood up from his side of the desk, and sat on the other edge, directly in front of Martha. "We always have so much catching up, where do we begin?"
"How about, with me congratulating the hero, on his latest Earth saving venture?"
"That's a good start." Jack opened his arms and she mirrored his gesture, he pulled her into an embrace, each of them resting their heads on the other's shoulder. "Everything's back as it should be."
* * *
Martha's house, London.
Martha kicked off her shoes, and closed the front door behind her. "Tom?" As she suspected, he wasn't in, he often ended up working late, and tended to take extra shifts when she was away. She sighed to herself, she had always relished time for herself, but she was hoping to spend some more time with him before she had to fly out the following afternoon. She considered her options, she could pop around to her mother, have some home cooked food for the first time in an age, but on the other hand she'd be interrogated the whole evening, about Tom, her work, had she seen The Doctor again. No, she'd give her mother a call in the morning, and then make up some emergency when things got a bit much. Her ponderings were interrupted by her phone vibrating in her pocket.
"Martha, tell me you're back in London!"
"Yeah, I just stepped through my front door, Jack is everything ok? You sound anxious."
"I'm so sorry to do this, but can you do something for me?"
"Of course."
"There's an old friend of mine, Johnny Cooper, and when I say old, I mean we go way back, we served in World War Two together. He made his fortune in the sixties, he owned a record label you see, and ..."
"Umm, sorry Jack, but is there a point to all this?"
"I've just got a phone call from him, he really didn't sound right at all, I think he's ill."
"I'm sorry to hear that, what is it you'd like me to do?"
"Well, you're a doctor, I need you to check on him, he doesn't trust just anyone going into his apartment."
"Sure, hang on, let me get something to write down the address."
"Thank you, you're a life saver, literally."
"That's my job."
Johnny Cooper's penthouse, Canary Wharf, London.
Martha knocked four times and pushed the door handle, it was unlocked, just as Jack had said it would be. It was dark, but Martha could tell just by the building that this was an awe inspiring apartment, this Johnny Cooper owned the top two floors of the building.
Martha called out, "Mr Cooper? My name is Doctor Jones, Captain Jack Harkness sent me, can you hear me?" There was silence for a few seconds, before a whispery voice, amplified by a nearby speaker, spoke.
"Yes, I'm here, you're Martha?"
"That's right sir, I'll be with you in a second, can you tell me which room you're in please?"
"Make yourself comfortable my dear, put down your case, take off your coat. I'm sorry my maid couldn't be here to offer you a beverage, today's her night off, of all days!"
A blinking light caught her eye and she looked up, it was a security camera, that's how he knew she had a bag, he must have monitors in his room. "No, it's ok sir, I need this bag with me, I'll be able to figure out what's wrong, administer medication if you need it. Can you tell me where you are please?"
"Certainly, can you see the elevator, it's to your right, you can't miss it." Martha turned and saw it, "Yes, that's the quickest way, I'm one floor up."
She reached the next level, it was the top floor. The doors opened, and she was instantly confused. There was no bedroom, only a large swimming pool and hot tub, and the entire room was glowing with soft candle light. The feeble voice was behind her, "I see you found it all right then." Martha span round, leaning against the wall was Tom, wearing his best evening suit.
"Tom, you're, I mean what..."
"How did you like my old geezer impression? I based it on my grandfather, bless him." Tom was grinning broadly, looking quite proud of himself. "I hope you haven't eaten, we're getting room service later."
"No, I only just got back home."
"Good, trust me, we're going to work up quite the appetite." Tom stepped close to her, and pulled her into his body, before leaning in to kiss her tenderly.
Martha licked her bottom lip, then chuckled quietly to herself, "And what part did Jack play in all this?"
"Well, most of the leg work to be honest, Johnny Cooper is very real, and in fine health, he's out in LA doing some sort of deal, and he lets Jack use this place whenever he wants, and Jack suggested it to me earlier today. But the candles, that was all me!"
"Very impressive," she gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Should I be worried that you and Jack are conspiring together now?"
"He just thought he owed you one good lay, I guess I should be grateful that he opted to let me in on the plan! Should I be worried that he's taking an active interest in our sex life now?"
"To be honest he probably always has, it's just now he thinks he's got a good excuse."
"Uh huh, and the photo we gave him?"
"Probably only went to encourage him further," Martha giggled, "but if it gets us stuff like this, I'm not going to complain!"
"No, I suppose not, but promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"We switch the security cameras off, just to be safe."
Martha laughed again, "I'd say that was a very good plan indeed," she turned to the camera blinking above their heads, "sorry Jack, not this time."
This story has now been added to the Teaspoon archives.
Author: LondonBeauty
Rating: NC-17 to be safe.
Characters/Pairings: Martha, Tom, Jack, Sarah Jane, Gwen, Ianto (Parings: Martha/Tom, Jack/Ianto).
Spoilers: I can't think of any, it might help if you've seen up to Journey's End (DW) and Exit Wounds (TW), but that's just cautionary.
Disclaimer: None of the Whoniverse characters belong to me.
Summary: Jack really should learn how to phone ahead.
Author’s notes: Apologies for the terrible science, the meteorite plot is incidental really, but if it makes your brain melt anyway then I'm very sorry. This fic was written for the martha_milligan community's inaugural porn battle, using the prompt 'Caught in the act (by anyone except the Doctor)'. A huge thanks to persiflage_1 for being a patient beta reader.
Word Count: 4920
The Hub, Cardiff.
"Almost there, just a couple more seconds."
"Sarah Jane, I really can't thank you enough for this."
"I could hardly refuse, could I? Especially seeing as you asked so nicely."
Captain Jack Harkness flashed his trademark smile. "I'm always nice, well, I am when there's a beautiful woman involved, and I'm entirely at her mercy."
"You, and the rest of the planet if I'm inclined to believe your story of a meteorite the size of the Titanic hurtling towards us at a terrifying pace. Which of course I am, why else would I fix your Vortex, uh?"
"Manipulator."
"Vortex Manipulator. Even the name frightens me, especially in the hands of Torchwood."
"You aren't doing this as a favour for Torchwood, you're doing it for me." Sarah Jane raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Ok and Torchwood, but this is so important, and with my teleporter working again, we're the only people who can make this situation right. U.N.I.T. just doesn't have the capability to get to it in time, plus, you have to admit, we are pretty damn good at blowing the crap out of things."
"That's what I'm worried about." Jack opened his mouth to protest, but she hastened, "It's ok, I trust you."
"Thank you, and you're ok with going against The Doctor like this, by fixing the teleporter?"
"Well, we can't sit on our laurels our whole lives waiting for him to swan in and rescue us, can we now? He gave me this sonic lipstick to do good, to use it in precisely the same situations he would if he were here. And anyway, I'll have you know Jack, I'm not the compliant head girl type people assume I am, if I feel the need to go against The Doctor, I will, he isn't infallible."
"Oh, I know. For what it's worth, I recognised the rebellious twinkle in your eyes from the get go." He gave her a wink.
The sonic lipstick gave a final whirr and then beeped. "There, it should be ready. So, what was the plan?"
"Well, Ianto is due back any minute now with the explosives. Gwen is keeping a close eye on the speed and movement of the meteorite, I'm going to need the precise co-ordinates of it for the wrist computer so I land squarely on the rock, and not floating around space like a jackass."
"And you've got the necessary equipment to breathe?"
"Of course, having unprecedented access to alien technology has its benefits, as you can imagine."
"When it comes to you, I dare not!" Sarah Jane teased. She handed Jack the wrist band, and he eagerly strapped it on. "Would you do me a favour, before Ianto gets back?"
"Of course, anything."
"Give the teleporter a test run, before you handle all those explosives. The thought of something going wrong, with all that power, it..."
"I understand, of course I will. I won't go to the rock yet though, there's no sense putting myself in extra danger before the main show."
"Ok, that's fair enough. So where will you go?"
Jack ran his hand through his hair, and considered the question for a moment. After only a few seconds he broke out into a devilish grin, "Oh, I know exactly where I'm going!" He rushed to a computer and typed quickly. "Ha, got 'em!"
"Got what?" Sarah Jane chuckled at the sudden whirlwind of activity.
"The co-ordinates of where I want to go, right down to the last centimetre. Oh, this is going to be awesome!" Jack entered the numbers into the keypad, "I'll be back before you know it. Hey, if this works, I could always drop you off in Hawaii, you wouldn't even have to pack your passport."
"Maybe when it looks like we can have the week off from saving the human race from impending doom. That'll be the day."
"Wouldn't it just?" Jack pressed the final number and braced himself. "OK, this is it, wish me luck."
"Good luck Jack!" There was a sudden, bright flash, and with that, he was gone.
* * *
Martha Jones and Tom Milligan's house, London.
Martha Jones wrapped her bathrobe around her, and slumped down onto the sofa. She had needed that long soak in the bath, long haul air travel always made her feel grubby, not to mention how hectic things always were at the U.N.I.T. New York office, especially the last days with the revelation of an impending meteorite. Things were incredibly tense down at U.N.I.T. HQ, a lot of finger pointing about who was to blame that the situation wasn't discovered earlier, and squabbling about the best course of action to take. It was now known that Torchwood had a plan in place, which was cause for much hand wringing and added tension in the offices, but she was somewhat relieved. She trusted Jack implicitly, like he trusted her, so she jumped at the chance to volunteer and be U.N.I.T.s official liaison at Torchwood; any chance to see the team again. She still had so much to get done, not least get out of Jack how Torchwood were going to manage to get to the huge hulk of rock. He wasn't being terribly forthcoming with the facts, which couldn't be a good thing, but on the other hand, maybe the less she knew, the better, at least that way she wouldn't have to feel guilty about keeping U.N.I.T. in the dark. She felt a muscle in her neck tense up, and massaged it with one hand.
"Hey, that bath was supposed to help you unwind, don't tell me you're still stewing over things?" Tom sat beside her and pulled her towards him, taking over where she had been rubbing her neck.
"Yeah, sorry. It's just so hard to sit back and do nothing while all this is going on."
"I know, and don't think I'm not freaking out about this either, I mean the end of the world is really going to mess up our weekend plans! But right now, there's nothing you can do about it, you're not leaving for Cardiff until early morning right? So why waste time fretting, when there's other things we could be up to?"
Martha craned her head around too look at him. "Like what?"
He gently tilted her face up, and planted his lips tenderly on hers. "Like that, or maybe like this." He leaned forward and kissed her again, this time more deeply, letting his tongue languidly glide over hers, savouring every moment. She broke off the kiss briefly to manoeuvre herself around to face him, then gripping his shoulders to steady herself, swung her leg over his and straddled him, propping herself up on her knees. She pressed her torso against his, continuing the kiss, this time with more urgency. Tom slid his hands down her body, starting at her back, until reaching her butt. "You know, that robe is really cramping my style here."
Martha grinned and stood up. She undid the tie and let the robe fall to her feet, revealing a light blue silk chemise, leaving very little to the imagination. "Is this better?"
"Hmmm, I think so, I'd have to take a closer look to be sure." He placed his hands on her hips, and pulled her down on to his lap. He slid his hands up the skirt, gently kneading her buttocks, and she started grinding her hips in time with his hands.
After a couple of minutes, Martha leaned back, slightly out of breath. "You know, this isn't exactly fair, you're getting way more out of this than me at the moment." Tom looked back with a gormless expression on his face; once he got beyond a certain point of arousal, most higher brain functions seemed to become minimal. "Your jeans, your shirt, they're kinda cramping my style here!"
"Ah, gotcha!" Tom immediately got to work undressing, pulling his shirt off in one clean movement, then fidgeting with the button on his jeans, the more he fought with it, the less it was co-operating with his fingers. "For fuck's sake!"
Martha giggled, "Here, let me, I don't want you doing yourself any damage for something that can wait a few more minutes."
"Try telling that to The Captain."
"Oh my God, you're not still calling it that?!"
"Well, it used to be The Colonel, but I thought after the good work he's put in since our relationship, he was due a promotion."
Martha laughed, "Well, I'll give him that, but really, nicknames for genitalia are so tacky." Tom pursed his lips into a mock pout, she rolled her eyes, "OK then, as long as it's a change from The Captain. That always puts me in mind of someone else. How about Lance Corporal?" Martha giggled again, this time at the look of triumph on his face.
"Really, as good as that huh?"
"Oh yeah, I'd say he's put in some admirable service! Now, come here before you start making terribly puns about 'honourable discharge' or whatever else."
Tom chuckled, "Oh God, that's terrible, as if I would!" His laugh soon turned into a low, throaty groan, as his trousers fell to his ankles, and she started working her hand along the length of his erection. With her other hand she held onto his shoulder, and ran her tongue lightly over his chest, stopping at his nipple and gently grazing her teeth over it. "Oh God, I don't know how much I can take."
"Where's that famous Milligan stamina?"
"After three weeks of nothing but fond memories and phone sex to keep me going, it's pretty much evaporated."
"We'd better not waste any time then." She worked her fingers under the band of his boxer shorts, and tugged down. He kicked the underwear away, and lifted her up. She circled her legs around his waist, and he backed up until he could fall back onto the sofa. Martha reached below, and found his cock. She guided it to her entrance, and let herself hover above him, teasing both of them.
"Do you need me to, I mean, are you ok to..?" He moved his hand to her crotch.
"Oh yeah, I'm ready. You're not the only one who's been going without the last few weeks." She lowered herself down, taking him in slowly. Her breath hitched and she bit her lip, Tom circled his arms around her and kissed her deeply. He moved his hands down to her hips and leaned back, she leaned forward and grabbed the back of the sofa for leverage. They moved their hips in sync with each other, his hands guiding the increasing rhythm. They soon found their ideal pace, and let their bodies take over, Martha threw her head back and groaned as he started working her clit with his fingers. She came quickly, and knew he wouldn't be far behind, she adjusted herself so she was on her knees and clutching his shoulders, and was about to lower herself down again, but was interrupted by a flash.
"Surprise!" Jack gave his best razzle-dazzle smile and jazz hands.
Martha froze, mid remount. Behind the sofa, facing them was Captain Jack Harkness. "Oh my God, Jack!"
Tom had been too caught up in the moment to realise that their party of two had become a trio. "Uh, what? My name's Tom, Oh my God Martha!" Martha had already jumped off him, looking wide-eyed and mortified, he assumed this was because of the massive faux pas she had just committed. Tom stood up, his body was still willing, but his mind was already racing. She was trying to protest, but before she could spit out what she was trying to say, Tom was distracted.
"Oh my God, Tom! This is Tom, right?" Jack looked to Martha who nodded, not looking up and hurriedly trying to gather her bathrobe around her. Jack took a step back to take in the sight, disappointed that Martha had had enough wits about her to cover up before he could see anything, but he'd happily take this as a runner-up prize. "Well, I can certainly tell what Martha sees in you, am I right?" Jack chuckled, and this time Martha did make eye contact, but she wasn't laughing.
"And who the hell are you?" Tom was standing there in all his glory, he hadn't yet regained the presence of mind to realise he was standing there in the nude, at full mast, in front of a complete stranger.
"Oh, right! We haven't officially met, I'm Jack, Captain Jack Harkness if you want to be formal, which would be a bit rich coming from the guy pointing a loaded weapon in my direction. You know, I'm the guy who occasionally whisks your girlfriend off...uh, I mean I whisk her away to Cardiff to play catch up, we're old friends." Jack looked to her to confirm this.
"Jack, what in God's name do you think you're doing? How did you ... what are you..... what the hell's the matter with you?" Martha picked up a cushion and threw it to Tom, "And for crying out loud, will you cover that up."
"Ooh, I guess you're not ready to see the funny side yet. OK, I'll go put the kettle on and make us some coffee, and we can all just calm down."
"Coffee? I don't see how you're going to manage to drink it with MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT! I'm still waiting for an explanation here!" Martha's eyes were now wide with fury rather than shock or embarrassment.
"An Irish coffee then? No?" Jack looked at his phone, which he had switched off before he had teleported in. "Oh, will you look at that, it's Gwen calling me, it's probably urgent, I should take this."
"I didn't hear it ringing." Martha had her arms folded, and a stern expression on her face, Jack noted how much it made her look like her mother.
"You should know me well enough by now that I'd have it on vibrate." He gave her a wink, her expression didn't change. "Actually, you know what, I should go, she's probably calling to say Ianto's back with the explosives and we need to get ready for tomorrow."
"Go? And how are you going to do that?"
"The same way I arrived." Jack strode toward her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and Tom a pat on the arm, which on his bare skin sounded like an almighty slap. Before either Martha or Tom could react, Jack was busily keying away at the contraption on his wrist. "Tom, it was a pleasure meeting you finally, Martha, you're looking beautiful as always. Sorry I couldn't stay longer, see you later, bye!" And as quickly as Captain Jack had reappeared into Martha's life, he was gone.
* * *
The Hub, Cardiff.
The cheers were reverberating off the walls, there were only three people awaiting his return, but for all the joyous whooping and applause, there may as well have been a hundred.
"See, this is how you should always greet me when I walk into a room." Jack had been trying his best to look as cool and composed as he could, but he never could hold off his hundred watt grin for long. Sarah Jane, Gwen and Ianto were euphoric, he had done a quick scan of the room and there was a notable absence - Martha. He felt his stomach sink a little, had he offended her so much that she'd actually shunned her work to avoid him? That was very unlike her, so what if something had happened and she couldn't be there? In the early hours of that morning, Gwen had noticed that the meteorite was picking up pace; if they left it any longer it would be too late. Gwen had phoned Martha and told her, there was no way Martha would make it to Cardiff in time, but she could still contact U.N.I.T., they needed to be on guard; it was up to them and their technology on bases all around the globe to destroy any remaining fragments that failed to burn up on entry to the Earth's atmosphere. What if, in the rush to get to Cardiff as soon as she could, there was an accident? He knew this was a silly thing to dwell on, it was the adrenaline causing his mind to go into overdrive. Right now he was going to focus on the present, which involved Ianto striding toward him, beaming.
"You don't need anyone to tell you you're brilliant, but, you're brilliant!" Ianto had already grabbed him into a bear hug before he could respond in his usual, self-effacing way. Jack broke their hug slightly, enough to plant a hard kiss on Ianto's lips.
"Uh, a firm handshake will do just fine for me, thank you." Sarah Jane was standing behind Ianto, giving her coy grin.
"Oh, you don't get off that easily Sarah Jane Smith!" Jack scooped her into his arms and twirled her around. "Thank you, without your help this would never have been possible"
"This coming from the man who's just been in outer space!" Sarah stood on her toes, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank YOU."
Jack looked down to where Gwen was standing, she was still monitoring the computer, checking everything was ok, whilst shuffling impatiently on the spot. She was obviously eager to join in the festivities, but the last checks had to be done, before they could relax a little knowing U.N.I.T. were now in control. "What, so my safe return isn't enough to break you away from your Solitaire?"
"Nah, at least the whole solar system has to have been in peril before you can impress me that much. And ... done!" Jack was already behind her, she turned around and gave him a big squeeze. "How are you feeling, any side effects, feeling light-headed, shortness of breath, anything like that?"
"Fit as a fiddle!"
Gwen took hold of Jack's shoulder and guided him round, so they both had their backs to Sarah Jane and Ianto. She leaned in conspiratorially, "When you've got a second, you should go up to the office, we've got a visitor, I'd say it's important. We've got everything sorted down here, I'll call you if anything arises."
"Is it Martha?"
Gwen nodded, she now had her arms folded tight, and was pursing her lips. Jack turned on his heel and made his way to the office, as he got to the door he could hear the laughter from the others, they were rightfully jubilant, but all he was feeling at that moment was the butterflies in his stomach. Martha was sitting there, and she wasn't looking best pleased.
"Martha, you got here all right? I'm sorry about the rush, it was unavoidable."
"No problem, I understand." She was being perfectly civil, but her words were clipped. About now, Jack mused, they'd usually be hugging, celebrating the success of the operation, and just happy to be in each other's company again. But he wasn't going to push it this time, her body language was defensive, and he was going to take all the time it needed to get things back on track.
"Listen, Martha, I am so sorry about yesterday, I swear on all my lifetimes that I never knew that, well..."
"It's unlike you to be lost for words Jack."
"I'm just trying not to be indiscreet and mess thing up even more. If you want to slap me that's totally fine."
"I'm not going to hit you Jack."
"I know, that's not your style. Anything, you name it."
"Well, there is something."
"Great! Anything, we need to set this right."
"Well, you got an eye full of us, it's only fair that things are, evened up."
"Well, to be honest I really didn't see enough, I mean, much of you."
"That's not the point Jack, it was still a very intimate moment you interrupted, it left me feeling very exposed. "
"I know, and I'm so sorry, you know that's the last thing I'd ever want. What is it you wanted me to do?" Martha pointed him in the direction of a box, with the words 'Open Me' written on the top, that she'd put under his desk. He sat on the edge of his desk and pulled the box up, placing it next to him and getting to work opening it at once. He made short work of the wrapping and opened the box, only to see another smaller box inside. He opened that one too, and found a large, padded envelope, and inside that another smaller envelope. He could feel something in this envelope, glancing up at Martha, he hesitated before opening it. "I honestly hope that, whatever this is, it will make you feel better, and make things ok between us again."
"I think it will, go ahead."
Jack gingerly opened the final envelope, and pulled out a photograph. He stared at it, dumbfounded. It was a polaroid, and on it was Tom. He was reclining on a bed, wearing nothing but Martha's blue chemise, and a strategically placed cushion, the one he'd used to cover himself the night before. Beneath the photo, scribbled in black marker pen, was a note, not in Martha's writing:
'The next time you want to catch an eyeful, there's no need to go to such great lengths, this should hold you over. If it gets too much, M and I are thinking of selling tickets, we'll reserve you a front row ticket.'
Jack was shaken from his daze from the sound of Martha, she was leaning against the other side of the desk for support, doubled up with laughter. "Oh my God, your face!"
"Wait, so, you're not pissed off at me?"
"Jack, as if something like that is going to ruin our friendship!"
"But last night, you were ready to strangle me!"
"Yeah, sorry about that, I get grouchy if I'm all worked up, and get interrupted." Jack joined in with her laughter.
"I never would have imagined. So, we're ok?"
"Of course we are, come on, you have to admit it was funny."
"What, this now, or last night?"
"Well, I was talking about last night, but seriously, the look on your face when you opened the envelope, I wish I'd taken a photo."
"Don't worry, I've got you covered, I managed to get it on my camera phone." Gwen was standing in the doorway, grinning as madly as Martha.
"Wait, were you in on this?"
"'Fraid so, Martha filled me in last night. I provided the boxes, she was just going to leave the photo on your desk, where's the mystery in that?!"
"I feel so used!" Jack was clearly in his element again. "Is everything ok out there?"
"Almost perfect, except for U.N.I.T. fannying around with their bloody protocol as usual, sorry, no offence Martha."
"None taken."
"I'll get back to the others, I bet you've got some serious catching up to do."
"Thanks Gwen." Martha smiled at her warmly.
"Yeah, thanks Gwen, "Jack repeated sarcastically, his grin never leaving his face.
Gwen closed the door behind her, Jack stood up from his side of the desk, and sat on the other edge, directly in front of Martha. "We always have so much catching up, where do we begin?"
"How about, with me congratulating the hero, on his latest Earth saving venture?"
"That's a good start." Jack opened his arms and she mirrored his gesture, he pulled her into an embrace, each of them resting their heads on the other's shoulder. "Everything's back as it should be."
* * *
Martha's house, London.
Martha kicked off her shoes, and closed the front door behind her. "Tom?" As she suspected, he wasn't in, he often ended up working late, and tended to take extra shifts when she was away. She sighed to herself, she had always relished time for herself, but she was hoping to spend some more time with him before she had to fly out the following afternoon. She considered her options, she could pop around to her mother, have some home cooked food for the first time in an age, but on the other hand she'd be interrogated the whole evening, about Tom, her work, had she seen The Doctor again. No, she'd give her mother a call in the morning, and then make up some emergency when things got a bit much. Her ponderings were interrupted by her phone vibrating in her pocket.
"Martha, tell me you're back in London!"
"Yeah, I just stepped through my front door, Jack is everything ok? You sound anxious."
"I'm so sorry to do this, but can you do something for me?"
"Of course."
"There's an old friend of mine, Johnny Cooper, and when I say old, I mean we go way back, we served in World War Two together. He made his fortune in the sixties, he owned a record label you see, and ..."
"Umm, sorry Jack, but is there a point to all this?"
"I've just got a phone call from him, he really didn't sound right at all, I think he's ill."
"I'm sorry to hear that, what is it you'd like me to do?"
"Well, you're a doctor, I need you to check on him, he doesn't trust just anyone going into his apartment."
"Sure, hang on, let me get something to write down the address."
"Thank you, you're a life saver, literally."
"That's my job."
Johnny Cooper's penthouse, Canary Wharf, London.
Martha knocked four times and pushed the door handle, it was unlocked, just as Jack had said it would be. It was dark, but Martha could tell just by the building that this was an awe inspiring apartment, this Johnny Cooper owned the top two floors of the building.
Martha called out, "Mr Cooper? My name is Doctor Jones, Captain Jack Harkness sent me, can you hear me?" There was silence for a few seconds, before a whispery voice, amplified by a nearby speaker, spoke.
"Yes, I'm here, you're Martha?"
"That's right sir, I'll be with you in a second, can you tell me which room you're in please?"
"Make yourself comfortable my dear, put down your case, take off your coat. I'm sorry my maid couldn't be here to offer you a beverage, today's her night off, of all days!"
A blinking light caught her eye and she looked up, it was a security camera, that's how he knew she had a bag, he must have monitors in his room. "No, it's ok sir, I need this bag with me, I'll be able to figure out what's wrong, administer medication if you need it. Can you tell me where you are please?"
"Certainly, can you see the elevator, it's to your right, you can't miss it." Martha turned and saw it, "Yes, that's the quickest way, I'm one floor up."
She reached the next level, it was the top floor. The doors opened, and she was instantly confused. There was no bedroom, only a large swimming pool and hot tub, and the entire room was glowing with soft candle light. The feeble voice was behind her, "I see you found it all right then." Martha span round, leaning against the wall was Tom, wearing his best evening suit.
"Tom, you're, I mean what..."
"How did you like my old geezer impression? I based it on my grandfather, bless him." Tom was grinning broadly, looking quite proud of himself. "I hope you haven't eaten, we're getting room service later."
"No, I only just got back home."
"Good, trust me, we're going to work up quite the appetite." Tom stepped close to her, and pulled her into his body, before leaning in to kiss her tenderly.
Martha licked her bottom lip, then chuckled quietly to herself, "And what part did Jack play in all this?"
"Well, most of the leg work to be honest, Johnny Cooper is very real, and in fine health, he's out in LA doing some sort of deal, and he lets Jack use this place whenever he wants, and Jack suggested it to me earlier today. But the candles, that was all me!"
"Very impressive," she gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Should I be worried that you and Jack are conspiring together now?"
"He just thought he owed you one good lay, I guess I should be grateful that he opted to let me in on the plan! Should I be worried that he's taking an active interest in our sex life now?"
"To be honest he probably always has, it's just now he thinks he's got a good excuse."
"Uh huh, and the photo we gave him?"
"Probably only went to encourage him further," Martha giggled, "but if it gets us stuff like this, I'm not going to complain!"
"No, I suppose not, but promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"We switch the security cameras off, just to be safe."
Martha laughed again, "I'd say that was a very good plan indeed," she turned to the camera blinking above their heads, "sorry Jack, not this time."
This story has now been added to the Teaspoon archives.