HEAD LICE THREATEN INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL
FAUX NEWS YOU CAN USE
(Jun-Sep, 2009, London UK, Faux News) -
Faux News International Desk in London issued Travel
Advisory & Guidance (TAG), for the benefit of British
subjects leaving the island for holidays and vacations,
Faux News reports.
In TAG preamble, the London desk quotes high domestic
incidence of swine flu, head lice, juvenile delinquency
including pick-pocketing as well as a series of incidents
involving British subjects abroad which, according to
a highly-placed U.K. analyst who requested anonymity,
‘do not meet the standards of the civilized mode of
behavior’.
TAG urges British subjects to
- in cafes and buffet restaurants, suppress sneezing into
plates and dishes other than yours;
- wash hands before sitting down to eat;
- take off street shoes when entering rented apartments
or hotel rooms;
- avoid sitting or reclining on the floors in public areas
used for walking;
- check your family members and yourself for head lice
before leaving for vacation;
- refrain from vomiting in public areas when drunk;
- in ski resorts, refrain from borrowing other persons’
skis or snowboards without these persons’ knowledge;
- refrain from borrowing large amounts of food from
buffet restaurants and/or from stockpiling borrowed
food in hotel rooms and rented apartments.