Married !!
Our Civil Partnership ceremony and celebration last Saturday went wonderfully well!
There's so much to tell, so I'm going to split it into 2 or 3 postings over the next few days.
Early start on Saturday after only a few hours’ sleep; we left home at 8:50 am after beard trimming/showering/putting the last touches for the evening party/watering the garden and took a cab to the hotel in Croydon were Adrian’s family and some friends of ours were staying (one of them - Sue - spent most of Fri afternoon and evening making the buttonholes for all of us: white roses for the ladies, and lilies of the valley for the gents; we refrigerated the lilies of the valley overnight as they are so delicate).
At the hotel in Croydon the coach we booked for the day was already waiting and we got at the registry office in Bromley at around 10:20 am, 20 minutes before the ceremony.
Most of the guests were already there: we didn’t manage to hug/kiss/greet everyone and hand out the buttonholes, before we were rushed in for the interview with a registrar (and a trainee), who asked us to confirm our details. Of course, being slightly anxious and nervous, we managed to get confused about some details but nevertheless she was convinced of our identities! She was really nice and she commented on what we had planned saying that it was going to be a fun ceremony.
Then we met the registrar that would conduct the ceremony: Janet, a smartly dressed and lively black lady, in her late 20s/early 30s.
She was just so enthusiastic about the ceremony and we went over the details quickly: she had prepared a written speech to link the readings and music we had chosen with the legal parts.
When we left the office, everybody was already in the Garden Room (apart from Paul V. who was running late and had to sprint down the corridor!, and Enid, our next door neighbour, who got there towards the end because of a fire near home), seated and waiting for us to go in.
Oscar (Adrian’s oldest nephew) was in charge of the CD player.
The song we chose for walking down the aisle was “Let’s Never Stop Falling in Love” by Pink Martini.
After that, Janet read the introduction she had prepared, and presented the 2 readings read by the witnesses, Stephen and David J.
Stephen read the very short "Once in a lifetime" and David splendidly recited "O Tell Me The Truth About Love" (W.H. Auden)
This was followed by “Mr. Wonderful” (Bette Midler’s version) and then by our first 2 readings.
I read "I belong in your arms" and towards the end I was getting quite emotional (my jaw started to tremble but managed not to cry!); Adrian’s piece was "Today" and he was getting emotional too (I saw some moisture in his eyes).
Then it was time for the vows (“I choose you as my life partner”), the legal stuff about not knowing of any impediment, the “I do”s and the exchange of rings (“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. All that I am, I give to you; all that I have, I share with you. I promise to be faithful and loyal to love cherish and respect you, in times of joy, and in times of sorrow, for so long as we both shall live”).
Time for more music (Dusty Springfield’s “I Only Want to Be With You”) and then after the 2 emotional readings, for 2 funny ones: I read "I'll Still Be Loving You" and Adrian recited "I'll be there"
There was quite a lot of laughter in the room!!
This was followed by the Carpenters’ “Sweet sweet smile” and the signing of the papers. Here Janet got a bit confused and asked instead all our friends to come forward to congratulate us. The other lady registrars who were sitting in the corner supervising the ceremony and had the papers to signs, after a minute or so reminded her that the ceremony wasn’t over yet! We went to the corner to sign the papers, followed by our 2 witnesses.
Then “Let’s Never Stop Falling in Love” was played again (because Janet said she loved it) and all our friends continued to come forward to congratulate us.
Finally we went out on the lovely grounds outside the old palace for picture taking.
The ceremony was really lovely: Janet, the registrar, seemed to enjoy herself (she was almost swaying at the music) and we were really amazed at how friendly and affable they all were.
They (and of course our friends and family - Adrian’s but now mine too!) certainly turned the ceremony into a memory to treasure for the rest of our lives.
Lots of people took pictures in the palace grounds (Carlo, from Turin as there was another one from Gateshead, snapped away without the flash during the ceremony too but we don’t have those photographs yet).
Here is a selection of the best pictures by David J. and Michael, but we should get many more in the next week or so, hopefully.
(pls click on pictures to enlarge)
Order of service (the scrolls you see in many of the pictures):
Readings:
Once in a lifetime
Once in a lifetime you find someone
who touches not only your heart, but also your soul.
Once in a lifetime you discover someone who
stands beside you, not over you.
You find someone who loves you for who you are,
and not for who you could be.
Once in a lifetime, you find someone….
as you have found each other.
(Anon.)
O Tell Me The Truth About Love
Some say that love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go round,
And some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.
Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.
Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway-guides.
Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like Classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.
I looked inside the summer-house;
it wasn't ever there:
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed.
Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
Or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.
When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.
(W.H. Auden)
I belong in your arms.
Finally
I have found a place
Into which
I fit
Perfectly,
Safely,
And securely with no doubts,
No fears,
No sadness,
No tears.
This place is filled
With happiness and laughter,
Yet it is spacious enough
To allow me
The freedom to move around,
To live my life
And be myself.
This wonderful place,
Which I never believed
Really existed,
I have found
Finally
In your arms,
Inside your heart,
Inside your love.
(Deborah Brideau)
Today
Today….. I look into your eyes
The one with whom I can share anything
My deepest hopes and heart-filled dreams
Inner fears and sheltered insecurities
My most warming joys and overwhelming triumphs
All future journeys that I have left to encounter
This, and more, I know I can share with you.
Today….. I take pride in you
With admiration I look upon you and smile
For all that you are and that you do which makes me so proud
Every part of you that I have come to adore
And for all those parts I have not yet learned.
Today…. I share my soul with you
My most prized possession which has been given to no other
I share it with great confidence and trust
Because with you I am at peace and I know with you it is safe
You give me warmth that I keep with me always
And what else can I give to someone who has given me so much
For you have opened my eyes to see a love
Which I was blind to before you.
(Anon)
I'll Still Be Loving You
When your hair has turned to winter
and your teeth are in a plate,
When your getter up and go
Has gone to stop and wait -
I'll still be loving you.
When your attributes have shifted
beyond the bounds of grace,
I'll count your many blessings,
not the wrinkles in your face -
I'll still be loving you.
When the crackle in your voice
matches that within your knee
and the times are getting frequent
that you don't remember me -
I'll still be loving you.
Growing old is not a sin,
it's something we all do.
I hope you'll always understand -
I'll still be loving you.
(C. David Hay)
I’ll be there
I’ll be there, my darling,
Through thick and through thin
When your mind is a mess
When your head’s in a spin
When your plane’s been delayed
When you’ve missed the last train
When life is just threatening
To drive you insane
When your thrilling whodunit
Has lost its last page
When somebody tells you
You’re looking your age
When your tea’s too cool
And your wine is too warm
When the forecast said ‘Fine’
But you’re out in a storm
When you ordered the Korma
But got the Madras
When you wake in the night
And are sure you smell gas
When your quick-break hotel
Is more like a slum
And your holiday photos
Show only your thumb
When you park for five minutes
In a resident’s bay
And return to discover
You’ve been towed away
When the jeans that you bought
In hope or in haste
Stick on your hips
And won’t reach around your waist
When the dentist looks into
Your mouth and just sighs
When your heroes turn out
To be wimps in disguise
When the food that you most like
Brings you out in red rashes
When as soon as you boot up
The bloody thing crashes
When you’re in extra time
And the other team scores
When someone informs you
There’s no Santa Claus
When you gaze at the stars
And step on a nail
When you know you’ll succeed
But, somehow, you fail
When your horoscope tells you
You’ll have a good day
So you ask for a rise
And your boss says ‘No way’
So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear….
When you spill your beer
When you shed a tear
When you burn the toast
When you miss the post
When you lose the plot
When I’m all you’ve got
When you break a rule
When you act the fool
When you’ve got the flu
When you’re in a stew
When you’re last in the queue
Don’t feel blue
‘Cause I’m telling you
I’ll be there
I’ll be there
I’ll be there for you.
(Louise Cuddon - but one word was changed!)
(to be continued)