Chapter Fourteen of 'Jonquils and Lightning'- Waking Revelations
Chapter Thirteen.
Chapter One.
Title: Jonquils and Lightning (14/?)
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Pairing: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, a few one-sided het pairings and canon het pairings
Content Notes: Angst, blood, dubious consent, dimension travel, OC’s
Rating: R
Summary: Harry Potter found peace after the war in another world where a large number of Potters live. He makes his living as an animal healer in Godric’s Hollow, surrounded by family and away from all wars. But his peace shatters with the arrival of a Tom Riddle from another dimension, who seeks a Potter who can be his foretold weapon in his own war.
Author’s Notes: At the moment, I can’t say how long this story will be.
Thank you again for all the reviews!
Chapter Fourteen-Waking Revelations
Harry groaned a little as he woke. There was something pinning one of his arms to the mattress, which wasn’t good, and at the same time, there was incredible pleasure locked around him, drawing him deeper into a wet mouth. He thought he must still be dreaming.
And then he opened his eyes and found the blankets knotted around his arms, holding them back, and Tom kneeling between his legs, sucking Harry’s morning erection down his throat with incredible determination.
“Fuck,” Harry gasped, his hips tilting up and his eyes rolling back. Then he shook his head. No, this would only confuse things. He had only meant to do anything with Tom once, he’d made that promise to himself…
His thoughts scattered again as Tom licked all around him with the same level of attention that Harry could imagine him bringing to conquering the world. But this couldn’t happen, and Harry directed a burst of magic through his skin at the blankets. They melted away as if they’d never existed, taking the magical bonds with them that Tom must have put there.
Harry promptly sat up and pulled Tom’s head off him. “No,” he said softly.
Tom blinked at him, large eyes with a shine deep in them that Harry wanted to surrender to. He held himself back from doing it. “But I only wanted to make you feel good,” Tom said softly. He raised a hand to touch Harry’s hip.
Harry fought for control of himself. Tom’s voice was hoarse. It made him imagine all sorts of things that he-
Wasn’t going to imagine. Harry gave Tom a tight smile and said, “Last night was nice. But it can’t happen again.”
“Why not?”
“Because you want to return to your world. And I don’t want to go with you. And you’ll regret it if you sleep with me.”
Tom licked his lips. “I haven’t seen anything to regret so far. Not your emotions or your magic or your level of interest in me or your…taste.”
Harry held back a groan. Tom wasn’t as evil as Harry had thought he was, but that didn’t mean he didn’t seduce people. “I want someone who will want to stay with me all their days.”
“And I do want that. I want you to come back with me, and engage in earning the justice that people in my world don’t have. You’ve seen Dumbledore. You think that he’s going to allow me to just return? Or that he’ll be fair to the people who follow me? Or anyone else, Muggleborn or not, who’s caught casting the Unforgivables?”
Harry narrowed his eyes. “That was something you planned to use to lure me after you, wasn’t it? That there’s a world full of people to save?”
“Yes.” Tom said it without a trace of shame. “The way I originally planned to use the pleasure that exploded between us when we touched.” He sat up and shook back a lock of his disheveled hair, which was so unfairly handsome that Harry restrained another groan. “It doesn’t mean that I despise you, Harry. It means that I want you so much I would have done anything.”
“Would have done?”
“I’ve realized that I can’t trick you like that. It has to be your own choice. And if you want someone who can keep up with you, and someone who would never be afraid of your magic, and someone who would always desire you, then I’ll be everything you need.”
Harry took a deep breath. “I want someone more than that, although it’s a good start. I want someone who loves me. And someone who wants to stay in this dimension, where for the first time in my life I have family.”
Tom tilted his head as if listening for the sound of distant bells. “I think I could grow to love you. I don’t know if I would describe myself as arriving there yet. I’ve never loved anyone in my life except my mother, and even then, I don’t know if the emotion would be recognizable to you.”
Harry blinked. That was more honest than he’d expected. He’d thought he would get more coaxing or a flat refusal. “What about staying here with me?”
“I’ve been thinking about that.” Tom stretched out, his body lounging on the bed with such grace that Harry licked his lips. Tom smiled at him, but his voice remained calm and serious. “You sacrificed part of your magic to keep the portal to your first world open. But even then, you retained enough strength to challenge Dumbledore. What about sacrificing it to keep the portal to my world open?”
“What would that accomplish?” But Harry could feel something odd, distant, speeding his heartbeat up. Hope. It felt like hope.
“It would mean that you could give up even more magical strength, and be closer to the wizard that you want to be. And it would mean that you could live here permanently, but come visit me. And I could come visit you.”
Harry stared at Tom with his mouth slightly open. Tom leaned over and kissed him. “I didn’t know that could shut you up with such efficiency,” he murmured after a moment, drawing back so that his lips were barely moving against Harry’s. “I do prefer kisses, though.”
“I-that’s not possible, Tom. You must know it isn’t.”
“Why not?”
Tom had put his chin on his hand and was giving Harry a rapt stare that wasn’t good at all for Harry’s chances of willing his erection down. He took a deep breath and mustered the strength that had let him defy Dumbledore for Tom yesterday, no matter that the man looked like someone he had grieved. “Because you’ll be fighting a war. What time will you have to visit me? And I won’t want to go through your portal to the other side.”
“If you truly want me to only visit you, I suppose I can’t stop you. But you’ll give me some advice for dealing with fools like Dumbledore, at least?”
Harry shook his head. “This doesn’t seem like you, Tom. Have you given up the chance of having me help you in your war that easily?”
*
Tom flinched a little. He could imagine what kinds of mocking laughter he would get from some people if he voiced the things that were on his mind now.
But those people in his world who would have laughed at him were not Harry, he reminded himself. So he found the courage to hold Harry’s gaze and forge ahead.
“I realized something last night. Or partially realized it and then thought about it this morning while I was waiting for you to wake up. If it comes down to a choice between having your help in my war and having you as a lover, then I’ll take the second.”
Now Harry was actually gaping at him. Tom began to smile despite himself. “What? Is it so unbelievable that someone might want you for yourself?”
“You’re talking like you’re in love with me.”
“I don’t think I am, yet,” Tom said, after giving the idea due considerations. “It hasn’t been that long since I changed my mind. But after I watched you stand up against Dumbledore for me-” He shook his head. “There might have been some people who wanted to do that for me in the past, but no one who actually could. It was exhilarating, Harry.”
His voice lowered on the last words despite himself, really despite himself, not because he was trying to use it to make a point, and Harry gaped at him again. Then he shook his head. “You can’t have changed this quickly.”
Tom snorted a little. “You’re the one who keeps making a point of how young I am. I’m changing because no one really challenged me in my life before. Everyone either completely ignored me or kept out of my way. Or I overcame the challenge and punished them.” He smiled a little as he thought of some of the spells he had cast on those who tried to bully him in Slytherin. “You’re the first one who stood up to me and didn’t make me resent you.”
“That should change soon, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“You only like this because of the novelty. Soon you’ll get bored and go back to wanting to overcome my challenge like always.”
“No,” Tom said, and although he didn’t raise his voice, he must have done something right with the force of his tone, because Harry paused. “This isn’t a new kind of challenge, it’s something I never saw before. Someone who’ll fight for me and fight with me and who’s stronger than I am and let me see his darkest memories? Someone who already saved the world? And the sex is amazing, too? Where in the world am I ever going to find that again?”
“I-” Harry rubbed the back of his neck. “Dumbledore in my world was a mentor to me. I only stood up to this one last night because he was wrong.”
“But see, you thought that. Most people in my world think Dumbledore is the epitome of infallibility. He’s spent a long time carefully ensuring that people think that about him, of course. But a lot of his opponents would still be too weak to do it. Or too afraid. You aren’t.”
“Because of my power. Which is just this side of freakish.”
“I don’t appreciate it when you call yourself that word.”
“Huh?”
“I saw it in your memories of those Muggles you lived with. Don’t say it, Harry. If you really think of yourself that way, it would explain some things, though,” Tom added thoughtfully. “You’re convinced I only want you for your freakish magic, and I’ll leave when you won’t use that magic to give me a political edge.” He smiled when he saw the wary look in Harry’s eyes. “Hit it right on, didn’t I?”
Harry swallowed. But he’d never given Tom reason to doubt his courage, and he didn’t now, either. “You don’t have any other reason to stay with me. You haven’t known me long enough. We’re not friends. I can’t-won’t-help you in your quest to take over your world. What else does Tom Gaunt want?”
“All those things you talked about, yes.” Tom’s hand slid over Harry’s hip, and Harry gasped and let his eyes slip shut. “Unlike you, I’m willing to give them time to grow. And we’ll become something you never even envisioned.”
“Which is?”
“Friends who are also lovers.”
Harry closed his eyes harder. Then he reached out and removed Tom’s hand from him. Tom waited. He didn’t intend to retreat, he never intended to give up the ground that he’d gained, but he could wait and see what Harry wanted to say.
“You’re still holding out hope to persuade me.”
“About conquering my world? Not really. But it would be fantastic if you did.” Tom waited a second to see if Harry would make that decision, and sighed and shook his head when Harry only glared at him. “Well. Anyway. You can still give me advice. If you stabilize the portal, then I can still visit. And we can still be lovers.”
“I only want to have sex with people who love me.”
“And yet, last night.”
“That felt good.” Harry gnawed the inside of his cheek. “It felt like the right decision at the time. But now…”
Tom caught his hand and kissed it in the center of his palm. He let his tongue dart out, the tip just touching the lines that Professor Thornberry back at Hogwarts would say predicted long life and good fortune, and Harry gasped. “Please don’t regret that,” Tom murmured, pulling back. “We can do it again if it feels like the right decision to you and it feels good. But don’t regret it.”
Harry hesitated one more time. Then he said, “All right. In the meantime, why don’t you tell me more about Dumbledore in your world and the way that he gained power, so I’ll understand him if we need to confront him?”
Tom smiled and leaned back with his head on Harry’s flank so that he could talk about it. He could think of no one else who would have done as much for him, who would even have considered as much.
Of course, perhaps that came from the fear that people held of Dumbledore in his world, while Harry had no reason to feel such terror. But Tom decided he was allowed to think about and value the difference.
*
Harry sighed when he felt Dumbledore’s magic approaching behind him. He had thought that would happen the minute he ventured out of Godric’s Hollow, and it was one of the reasons he had come here in the first place. But he still didn’t like the thought of another confrontation.
At least it had to be more pleasant than the one that had happened with Jonquil this morning, when she had seen him and Tom coming out of his room together and turned around to flee. Harry had called her name, but she hadn’t stopped. He knew he would probably need to speak with her when he got back home.
So maybe this is actually my first confrontation of the day, Harry thought idly as he watched Albus walk over the crest of the hill and stand looking at him. His face was soft with grief Harry thought was real. That still didn’t mean he needed to yield to it. He had outgrown his impulse to give in merely because Albus was disappointed with him.
“You do not understand what you are helping.”
“No, I do. He talked to me last night and told me a lot about you.” Some of the things, actually, Tom hadn’t even known he was revealing. Harry had enough knowledge from his own world to fill in the gaps Tom had to guess at. “You were scarred even more by the affair with Grindelwald than you were in my world.”
Albus stopped moving. For a second, Harry thought he saw his lips twitch under his huge white moustache. Then he shook his head. “Mr. Gaunt is so much younger than I am that I fear he misunderstands.”
“I’m a little older than him, and I have a lot more experience with you in particular,” Harry said quietly. “I asked him whether there are any other Dumbledores in the world. He seemed puzzled. I think that both your brother and your sister died in that fight you had with Grindelwald, correct? And the guilt eats at you still. And it makes you much harsher with people who know Dark Arts or Unforgivables or any other magic that you think is terrible than you otherwise would be. Because you thought you knew better once, and you failed yourself and your family. You should be able to trust yourself the most. But you’re afraid. You trust no one. Tom doesn’t think so, but I think that someday, after you’ve taken away the knowledge from everyone else, you would Obliviate yourself of the knowledge of all the Dark spells you could. And you would smile as you did it.”
Albus was frozen entirely now, staring at Harry. Harry stared back. His magic was drawn up around him, in what he knew would be visible only as a starry silhouette glittering in the air. But he didn’t know yet if he would need to use it.
“I’m sorry for you,” Harry added softly.
Albus swallowed as if Harry’s words had given him back the ability to breathe, and then leaned forwards. “If you understand, if you know, then you should empathize with me, and not Gaunt! You should understand that there’s no way we can permit this knowledge to continue to exist and either reveal us to the Muggles or start a civil war. Or maybe support some wizarding dictator who thinks he has the right to conquer Muggles, someday. Why are you on Gaunt’s side?”
Harry stepped closer. His magic wanted to spark and get away from him, but he held it in. There was no threat here. Maybe he could make Albus understand.
Maybe not. The man had always been stubborn.
“I don’t think the same way you do. I think some people can be trusted. I think that sometimes we might need to keep the Dark Arts around, if only to know how to defend against them. I don’t think getting rid of knowledge or burning books is a good thing. And most of all, I think that altering people’s minds and memories without their consent is a worse evil than almost anything else people can do.”
Some light went out in the back of Albus’s eyes. He turned and looked out over the quiet green hills of Godric’s Hollow. Harry waited.
Then he turned back, and the light was still out, but his jaw was firm. “You can’t understand the world being on your shoulders.”
He stopped, because Harry was laughing. Harry shook his head and got control of the laughter, which was more of a wheeze. “Of course I can. In my own world, I defeated a Dark Lord, just like you did. And after I did, people worshipped me like they worshipped you. But I never chose to make myself a ruler. Or to impose my will.”
“If you-the evil you saw-”
“I decided to trust that other people wouldn’t perpetuate it. I didn’t erase their minds so they wouldn’t.”
Albus looked truly helpless for a second, and Harry felt his own heart quiver. He would have given a lot to help the other man.
Instead of arguing with him, though, Albus only shook his head, murmured, “You are not giving any justifications that I have not thought to myself in the dead of night,” and turned and disappeared.
Harry turned around and walked quietly back to his family, and Tom.
Chapter Fifteen.
This entry was originally posted at https://lomonaaeren.dreamwidth.org/996788.html. Comment wherever you like.