Tattoo idea, small rant
So, I'm getting another tattoo soon, and I have an idea of what I want, I'm just drawing-challenged. I want a peacock, with feathers coming off that somehow look kinda like lace, maybe ribbons of lace, or just lace between the feathers, not exactly sure. I don't want to pay the artist to draw it, and then not like it and have him draw it again, because he charges by the hour, and it's detailed and medium-sized, and I don't have that much money, plus he may never draw something I like. So. I have some pictures that have different things I like in them, but I can't draw it myself, and I'm in a predicament. If anyone would like to try to draw it, I can probably pay them, not a lot, but something. I don't see that happening, though.
Anyway, on a different note, I already talked about this on myspace, so if you read it, you can skip this part. I've been feeling kind of down lately, like my entire life is diapers and bottles, and laundry and dinner. I do the EXACT same thing every day. Bottle, diaper, bottle, diaper, food, bottle, diaper, cook dinner, clean, baby baths, get them to sleep, take a shower, bed. Every day. I drink occasionally to break up the cycle, but that doesn't help much, just causes fights. I wish I had money to buy things like canvases (whatever) and paint, and sketch pads, etc. But, then I never have time to put into it, I always sit down to do it and then something comes up with the babies. I don't know if it's post-partum, just plain depression, or nothing at all, but it's really getting aggravating. I get to the point where, when one of the babies cries, I just let them cry for a while, and that doesn't work, so then I try to fix it, and they're so needy, they can't go to sleep by themselves or sit and play by themselves...I know, I know, that's the definition of a baby. But when there are two to entertain and keep clean and feed...I have no time for myself, and it gets old, especially when I'm the only adult (out of 4 in this house) who cooks or cleans or even picks up. I've said something (over and over), and no one minds living like that because they work. Yeah. There seems to be no solution, I have no help anywhere and I'm a mother of 6 basically...ugh.
Yup that was a long ramble but I needed it. Good ol' livejournal.
Anyway, on a different note, I already talked about this on myspace, so if you read it, you can skip this part. I've been feeling kind of down lately, like my entire life is diapers and bottles, and laundry and dinner. I do the EXACT same thing every day. Bottle, diaper, bottle, diaper, food, bottle, diaper, cook dinner, clean, baby baths, get them to sleep, take a shower, bed. Every day. I drink occasionally to break up the cycle, but that doesn't help much, just causes fights. I wish I had money to buy things like canvases (whatever) and paint, and sketch pads, etc. But, then I never have time to put into it, I always sit down to do it and then something comes up with the babies. I don't know if it's post-partum, just plain depression, or nothing at all, but it's really getting aggravating. I get to the point where, when one of the babies cries, I just let them cry for a while, and that doesn't work, so then I try to fix it, and they're so needy, they can't go to sleep by themselves or sit and play by themselves...I know, I know, that's the definition of a baby. But when there are two to entertain and keep clean and feed...I have no time for myself, and it gets old, especially when I'm the only adult (out of 4 in this house) who cooks or cleans or even picks up. I've said something (over and over), and no one minds living like that because they work. Yeah. There seems to be no solution, I have no help anywhere and I'm a mother of 6 basically...ugh.
Yup that was a long ramble but I needed it. Good ol' livejournal.