All you need is love (and a few cuddles)

[salylimon]

WHO: Emi and Matthew
WHEN: [Backdated] Sunday night, October 24th
WHERE: Emi's apartment
WHAT: Just some good ol' disappointment-turned-comforting-turned-sleepover.

Matthew: Matthew had been more than a little nervous to visit- the normal comfort and ease that he had talking and being around Emiliana clouded by doubt and... unfortunate circumstances. But regardless of all of that, he found his feet mechanically taking him up the stairs, taking a deep breath and staring at the door. He almost didn't knock- almost just... turned and ran but- his fist lifted and he offered a few hesitant, tenative knocks- Door's unlocked-

Emiliana: The entire situation, should Emi be completely honest to herself, shouldn't have made her feel as confused as she did now. Had a certain event not happened the night she had gone out with Matthew and Alfred, this little should-be-comfort session would have been so much easier to handle. But what happened did in fact happened. There was no changing that.

And there was no changing the fact that, even as she had had some time to stew it over in her apartment while curled up on the sofa, the sudden anxious nerves she had seemingly managed to control were soon back at the sound of knocking.

Normally, she would have rolled her eyes given the fact that she had specifically told the blonde that the door would be unlocked. But tonight, she couldn't bring herself to do more than force herself toward the door to open it.

A sigh and then-

"...Hello."

Matthew: "A-Ah... hey-" Matthew stuttered, eyes going anywhere but Emiliana as he nodded slightly. She didn't sound happy. Or anything close to... any positive emotion. He didn't even want to see the expression that had to be on her face. "Um... are you sure- you- don't mind me coming over-?"

Emiliana: Brow raising, Emi stared at him for a moment in silence before sighing as she moved aside to let him and close the door behind them. "It's fine, really. Do you want anything to drink? I made hot chocolate but I have...water and tea and juice, I think."

Stepping aside, she nodded over to the sofa. "You can sit down. Just, uhm, ignore the mes," she mumbled, making a vague hand motion toward the nest of blankets and pillows on the sofa.

Matthew: "Hot chocolate is- just fine. Thank you..." Matthew murmured, slowly walking inside and wandering slowly over to the couch, nudging just a few over and just barely sitting on the edge of it. His gut twisted and curled, and he tugged up his collar a bit more to try to hide a hickey. "And... t-thank you for- letting me come over-"

Emiliana: "No hay problema," she quickly mumbled back, not noticing the slip-up in languages as she moved toward the kitchen to prepare the hot chocolate. There was another moment of silence, a moment in which she shifted nervously as she continued working on the drinks.

"How...how are you feeling?"

Matthew:  Matthew gave a slight shrug and rubbed at his face, slipping his shoes off before he curled up on one end of the couch, burying himself slightly in his hoodie. "Considering...? Not- that great..." he admitted quietly. "I just don't know Em- E-Emiliana."

Emiliana: "You know it's-" Emi started before stopping, careful to not burn herself as she made her way back toward the blonde. She hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether she should take a seat beside him or on the loveseat by the sofa. Sighing, she settled down with him on the couch, ginerly placing the two mugs on the coffee table. "It's not the end of the world, you know. Not really..." she eventually continued, pushing the hot chocolate toward him.

Matthew: "I... know- I do I just... don't," Matthew slumped, frowning slightly and leaning forward to blow on it slightly. "I've... I've never really seen it as a big deal. Al's always been the one pushing me to- y'know. But I just never- really wanted to. But now..." he shook his head slowly, picking up the mug and sighing heavily. "I... I don't know."

Emiliana: "What do you mean?" Her gaze flickered in his direction before focusing on the coffee table. "I mean, if you, uh-" Emi cleared her throat, a blush suddenly coming to her face as fiddled with the hem of her sweater. "If everything was fine in the end, then-?"

Matthew: Matthew closed his eyes, a red flush spreading across his cheeks as well. "I just- I don't- know," he breathed out quietly. "I... had drunken sex. I was actually- I was safe. And it just- happened and..."

He set his mug down without taking a drink. "I just feel... more confused than- ever."

Emiliana: "Mistakes happen," Emi replied evenly. She wasn't quite sure if she was speaking to herself, or Matthew, or the both of them, but she ignored the thought for now. "I mean, mm-" She broke off, fiddling with a stray strand of hair nervously. "I'd be a hypocrite if I said I...never did stuff like this before. But do you...mind telling me why you're so confused? Es que..." She trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Matthew: Hands trembling lightly, Matthew shook his head, clenching them into fists and sitting back. "I... I barely even knew Raivis," he started quietly. "Know... him- and I mean... He's nice, and there's not a whole lot bad I can say about him but I just... I don't feel that way. At least- about- him. I think I was just so happy someone finally... felt that way back-"

Emiliana: Emi stared at him, quiet, as she was tempted to reach out and touch his hand before thinking better of it for the time being. "Felt that way back-?" Emi echoed. "I, uhm, don't....how should I put this. Ah, at least...at least it was someone you knew? Virgin or not a-and people's personal preference aside, just...at least you knew him? I-I mean, dios sabe...god knows I can't say the same thing for myself if I think about my own choices."

Matthew: Matthew paused and looked up, shoulders sinking a bit. "You... did-?" he asked quietly, frowning slightly. "I mean- you... don't have to tell me. But- I guess you're right really. It could just... be worse."

Emiliana: "I...didn't really start making these, aha, amazing choices until after a really bad breakup. And then, I don't know, going out seemed like the better option to deal with loneliness and heartbreak, you know? A-And things happened with guys like Al-" She caught herself. "Almost every other time I went out. Okay, maybe not that often, but-" Emi shrugged, cheeks beginning to burn shamefully as she mumbled the rest. "So...even if you're not proud of what happened, it, yeah, it could have been worse."

Matthew: Blinking, Matthew stared at Emiliana and frowned a little with guys like Al. That sounded a little to- close- He shifted, moving back on the couch a bit and settling into it. "Wait- wait... did- you say- guys like...?" he stared at her, eyebrows knitting together. There was no way- Al would have never-

Emiliana: Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shifting nervously, Emi looked away, hand quickly moving to pick up her mug as she took a slow drink to calm herself. She stayed quiet for a moment before risking a glance in Matthew's direction. Okay. Okay she could twist the truth. Kind of. "Guys that were kind of like Alfred. Just...more obnoxious. I don't always have the best judgement when I'm that drunk," she finally replied.

Matthew: Flinching slightly, Matthew looked away as well and sighing quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. "R-Really?" he mumbled, their own... little slip up fresh in his mind. "Well I guess... yeah," he sighed, rubbing his face and sinking back.

He wasn't even sure he wanted to know. Not with the way his gut was twisting.

Emiliana: Emi could feel herself growing uncomfortable, unsure of what else to say as she opted to instead stare at her lap. Her fingers were messing nervously sleeves, tugging at them anxiously as she struggled to think of something else to say. "I can't even remember why we did that that night," Emi finally breathed out, beginning to curl herself up on the couch, still not bothering to look his way. "I just remember it happening and-fuck," she swore under her breath, hands coming up to rub at her face. "I'm apparently still a giant floozy when I'm upset and drunk and-" She broke off, sighing shakily. "No. No, sorry. You probably didn't want me to bring it up and you're still upset over...Raivis and...and yeah."

Matthew: Matthew stared and swallowed slightly, shaking his head and watching her quietly. "No... just- w-what...?" he asked weakly. "I-If... if we... need to talk about that- I... remember it too."

Emiliana: "I don't know what there is to talk about," Emi mumbled, curling up into herself further. "We were drunk. It happened. It was a drunken and weird mistake on both our ends. I don't remember what led to it but...yeah," she shrugged, avoiding his gaze in embarrassment.

Matthew: Whatever gut twist he'd had from Raivis, doubled twice over. He looked away quickly and, fidgeted, suddenly questioning if he should've even come over. Drunken weird mistake. He closed his eyes and rubbed at his face. "Y-yeah," he stammered quietly, sinking down. "R-Right."

Emiliana: Bringing her knees up to her chest, Emi wrapped her arms around her legs, forehead coming to rest at against her knees as she sighed shakily. "It's just confusing," Emi said quietly, echoing Matthew's earlier statements. "I don't...know if that night was my fault or not and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Especially now that I...brought it up and you probably wanted to forget it even happened."

Matthew: "I... think I started it," Matthew said quietly, still not moving and sighing softly. "I... I didn't- mind it... what so ever..."

Emiliana: Raising her head slightly, Emi looked at him, face turning red once again. She knew the wide-eyed expression was one of confused wariness but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. "Huh?"

Matthew: Matthew closed his eyes tightly, covering his own face as he talked. "You- were.... you are beautiful- Em," he breathed out, laughing weakly. "I-I couldn't- help myself-?"

Emiliana: "U-Um," Emi cleared her throat before promptly looking away, not exactly looking or feeling all that beautiful in her baggy sweater and pajama pants as she curled her toes into the sofa cushions. "I...I don't know how to respond to that," she mumbled in embarrassment, face heating up further.

Matthew: "You... you don't have to," Matthew slowly started to stand up, taking a deep breath and offering her a weak smile. "I... I just wanted you to know. And I can- leave... if you don't feel... comfortable."

Emiliana: "What?" She picked up her head, brow furrowing in confusion. "What, no, no. I'm just. No. It's just been really weird for me lately and...no. Matthew, I want you to stay. Really."

Matthew: Matthew chewed at his lip and looked down at her, hands admittedly trembling a bit. "Only... only if you're- sure," he breathed out. "I really just- I don't want to make this any harder on you Em. I don't- I don't want this to be any... weirder."

Emiliana: "I made it weird by bringing it up," she said quietly, a weak smile coming to her lips as she motioned for the blonde to sit back down. "But...are you going to be okay? With everything that happened with Raivis...?"

Matthew: Slowly sitting down, Matthew nodded slightly. "I... I think so," he mumbled. "I... don't really know what I'm going to do but- it's- it's not the end of the world, right?"

Emiliana: "No...no, it's not. I mean, just because you...did this with him doesn't mean you have to force yourself to feel anything or think you feel anything for him? At least, uhm, nothing more than just seeing him as a friend. Mistakes happen-" Here, she shrugged, hesitating for a moment before reaching to pat the top of his hand soothingly. "It'll be okay."

Matthew: Matthew looked down at blinked at his hand that just got- patted? He couldn't help but laugh softly, looking up at Emiliana. "I know," he said softly, shaking his head. "And have I... made things so weird that I can't even get a hug from my best friend?"

Emiliana: Blinking, Emi stared at him for a moment before finally laughing softly. Shifting on the sofa to situate herself better before opening her arms up for him. "No, I think we can manage," Emi replied, grinning faintly.

Matthew: "Then just... for now, let's forget... stupid shit," Matthew mumbled, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Emiliana and pulling her over to him, petting down her hair softly.

Emiliana: Another weak laugh escaped her as she allowed herself to be tugged forward, her forehead going to rest against the crook of Matthew's neck as she sighed. "And agree that too much alcohol probably isn't a great life choice for us," she teased lightly, not pulling away as she absently rubbed her knuckles soothingly against his back.

Matthew: Shifting them both a bit, Matthew finally settled when they rested together comfortably and sighed, nodding. "Yeah... Maybe we should just both- never... drink again." he murmured. "Or- like... regulate each other. Smack me if I touch anything... vodka."

Emiliana: Giggling, Emi hummed in response, at ease for the time being as she nodded, not yet bothering to pull away from the comfortable embrace. "Yeah, I...I don't think I can give up on a good margarita at least. But I can do that. I mean, I wouldn't smack you, pero, if you insist," she joked.

Matthew: Matthew grinned a bit as well and laughed, hugging her a bit tighter. "Well... I probably won't be touching anything for a... very long time," he murmured. "But I'll be your DD anytime you want me to Em."

Emiliana: "Mm, I'll admit, that night was the first time in a long time that I had more than...one shot or one anything," Emi replied, head now resting against his shoulder. "So I think I may go back to avoiding the whole binge drinking thing, but thank you," she murmured, tilting her head back to smile up at the blonde.

Matthew: A flush springing to his cheeks reflexively, Matthew smiled back and nodded a bit, their closeness making his pulse speed up just a bit. "Well... whatever happens," he said simply, shrugging. "Want to just... watch sappy chick flicks for the rest of the night and feel sorry for ourselves-?"

Emiliana: Carefully, and surprisingly a bit relunctantly, she pulled herself away from his embrace, smile still on her lips. "Or horror movies. John has...a large collection of movies. I think we can find something to watch, but-" She bent down to pick up the now cool mugs of hot chocolate. "Maybe I should get us something else to drink and snack on."

She stopped, tilting her head to the side. "Alfred isn't coming home tonight, is he?"

Matthew: The Canadian sighed, rubbing his face and shaking his head. "No... I should- probably give him a call or- try to talk to him..." he murmured, pulling out his phone and glancing at a few messages, frowning and responding quickly. "Why?"

Emiliana: "Oh, just-" Emi hesitated, expression turning sheepish. "Wanted to know if...maybe you wanted to stay the night? Since you weren't feeling too great and Alfred's...out being a danger to society, probably. I just...yeah."

Matthew: Blinking and looking up, Matthew smiled a bit again and nodded, sighing softly. "Yeah... sure if you don't mind... I can just crash on the- couch or... floor, if you're using the couch."

Emiliana: "Uhm, yeah I was kind of...camping out in the living room this weekend," Emi said sheepishly. "But I can...I think we have an air mattress if you want to use that."

Matthew: Glancing up at Emiliana, Matt nodded and flopped back onto the couch and thought for a few moments before taking a deep breath. "Yeah, sure just-" he gnawed at his lip for a moment and winced. "I just- have to... know- one thing... P-Promise not to- kill me?"

Emiliana: Coming back from putting the cups of hot chocolate in the sink, Emi settled back down for the time being, eyebrow raised. "Uhm, sure-? What is it?"

Matthew: "You..." Matthew's eyebrows knit together and he swallowed. "Just- be honest with me but- you and Alfred- have you ever...?"

Emiliana: Emi could feel her pulse begin to quicken as she stared at Matthew, praying that her expression was devoid of nervous surprise. "...H-Have we ever what?"

Matthew: Matthew sighed, rubbing his face and glancing away a bit. "You... know what I mean. But you... pretty much answered it," he murmured. "You guys... really have- had sex- haven't you?"

Emiliana: Slumping against the sofa, Emi made a weak noise of shamed embarrassment as she once again found herself avoiding looking at Matthew. "...R-Remember when I said I started making bad choices after a bad breakup?" She asked quietly. "That...y-yeah, Alfred was my first bad choice."

Matthew: Frowning slightly, Matthew shook his head and reached over, slipping his arms around Emiliana and hugging her close. "C'mon... things- happen right?" he murmured. "I'm... I just... neither of you ever- told me. Alfred- never... said a word..."

Emiliana: Tensing up for a moment, Emi eventually relaxed against the blonde as she shook her head, sighing. "It's not something you can...bring up out of the blue, you know? I-I mean, I told...Jared. But I think Alfred and I try to forget it happened."

Matthew: Matthew rested his chin on top of her head, sighing. "Yeah but.... he's- getting pissed at this... Raivis thing and that I didn't... tell him right away and-" he winced, closing his eyes. "This... when he- knows... and- ugh."

He slumped, half on top of Em. "Can we watch those horror movies now Em?"