I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown.

[salylimon]

WHO: Emiliana and Ivan
WHEN: October 8th, Saturday afternoon
WHERE: Ivan's abode
WHAT: Boyfriend moves back to Canada. Spend the last month or so in a glass case of emotion. Get comforted by currently ill ex-boyfriend. What do you mean society finds this set-up odd?

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[salylimon]

"I-It's just," Her breath hitched, eyes focused on her fingers as they clenched and unclenched on top of the counter. She could feel her eyes beginning to sting, her throat beginning to tighten and her heart ache as every negative thought and emotion began to rush back to her. It was ironic, though, she couldn't help but think, being in such a situation with her ex-boyfriend. Heart aching and feeling smaller and more vulnerable than she's ever felt before, but for an entirely different reason.

"I-I just think I'm being selfish," Emi managed to force out, not meeting Ivan's eyes just yet. "W-We're still together and t-this is a fantastic opportunity for him, but I can't afford to visit often and neither can he. A-At least not for a long while," She hiccuped, a slight tremor staring to form at her shoulders. "I-I wanted him to stay. But I couldn't. I couldn't say something so selfish to him. And, just, i-if things don't work out because of the distance, I don't want to-"

She raised her eyes to stare at the tall Russian, expression pained as tears began to slide down her cheeks. "I-I don't think I can t-that kind of heartbreak."

[das_vedanya]

The Russian's mouth twitched, not into a smile, because he thought that perhaps a reassuring smile was not what she needed right now. He simply stood, almost to the point of being petrified, and wondered why it was easy to see strangers in his office cry and so difficult to see her perform the same action.

Tentatively, he placed his hand atop hers, unsure if he was allowed to do such a thing while she was in this state. He offered her the tail end to his scarf and dabbed a tear rolling down her cheek. "If it is meant to be, it will be. Distance is only a factor, and in this day and age, I know that these things can be more easily overcome than you think..."

[salylimon]

Any attempt to offer the Russian a grateful smile, no doubt, potentially came off as a grimace as Emi sniffled, shaky breaths escaping her lips as she fought to get herself under control. She did, however, turn her hand over, fingers interlacing with Ivan's as she gave his hand an appreciative squeeze.

She remained silent for a moment, the only sounds consisting of her badly muffled whimpers as Emi found herself still incapable of fully calming herself down. Shaking her head and teeth digging into the already badly worried skin of her bottom lip, she glanced away from the blonde. "W-We...w-we've actually been getting distance since he left in August," Emi murmured, sniffling. "I-I...think we might be...tonight...I-Ivan, I can't. I can't," she sobbed out, slumping against the kitchen counter as she found herself unable to hold herself up properly.

[das_vedanya]

The Russian sidled closer to her, returning the pressure of the squeeze on his hand. "Tonight? Emi- Emishka...!" Ivan knelt down enough to gather her into his arms and keep her from falling to the floor. Slowly, gently. the two of them descended until they were both sitting on the floor with backs against the counter. "I would not think so poorly of the situation. Things will get better. They always get better..." What a lie that was, and no one knew that better than Ivan-

"It will not be so soon... you two are stronger than that."

[salylimon]

Shaking her head, Emi refrained from commenting as she shakily exhaled. Teeth still digging into her bottom lip before she eventually allowed her head to rest against Ivan's shoulder, mind not entirely processing that they were now seated on the floor as she practically slumped into the taller man's side. "That's what I keep telling myself," she eventually whispered, eyes trained on the tile floor beneath her.

"Every time I get my heart broken, I always tell myself that-" She could feel her throat tighten, emotion suddenly thickening her accent as she forced herself to trudge on. "But sometimes it's just really hard for me to believe that, n-no matter how hard I pretend or how much I-I believe I've convinced myself."
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[das_vedanya]

Ivan swallowed at this, because unintentionally or not, Emi had just alluded to their awful breakup - he had broken her heart. As she settled against him, he found his hand resting atop hers again in quiet assurance.

"I am sorry, Emi. I wish things could work the way we want them to, especially for you, but it doesn't."

[salylimon]

Giving a pitiful shrug, Emi made no move to pull away from the older man. Instead, she gave another weak sigh. "I'll be fine," she eventually murmured tiredly. "I'm just being hysterical. I'll be fine. I-I'm always fine after a while," Emi continued, her hand shaking slightly beneath Ivan's.

Not bothering to look him in the eyes just yet, she shifted, burrowing her face against his arm, hand reaching up to curl her fingers into his shirt. "S-Sorry," she breathed out, eyes clenching closed as she allowed herself to be comforted by the faint warmth and almost nostalgic comfort from Ivan's more solid form. "Sorry, I just-" she unintentionally nuzzled her face into his arm, teeth continuing to dig into her bottom lip painfully.

I SUCK AT COMFORTING...

[das_vedanya]

"Emi-" he felt himself sink against the side of the counter as she sank against him. His arm curled around her waist carefully, worried that any more movement could cause her to break. "Emi, it is okay... I promise you will be okay. Everything will work out with him."

AND I SUCK AT BEING EMOTIONAL.

[salylimon]

"Yeah," Emi murmured weakly. "Yeah, maybe..." She sniffled, practically clinging to the older blonde as she slowly forced herself to calm down. It took a moment, but eventually she found herself relaxing further against Ivan as she sighed.

"M'sorry," she mumbled against his shoulder. "I-I'm just an awkward mess right now," she said with a weak laugh.

[das_vedanya]

"You are lucky that your friend is a therapist, Emi," Ivan managed a week laugh, the joke lost almost on a choke of his own frown. "I am used to such awkward messes." He settled against the counter, softening with a sigh. "And you have a right to be upset."

[salylimon]

"I'd rather you be my friend than play the therapist," Emi murmured, pulling away somewhat before resting her head against his shoulder. Slowly, she untangled her hand from his shirt and let it fall limply on top of her lap. "But I'll be fine," she quietly promised. "It's just....too much for me to take right now but I'll-We'll be fine. With whatever happens."

[das_vedanya]

"Do you want anything?" He asked after a period of silence. "Tea? Coffee? Warm milk? Vodka, scotch, wine?" Ivan nudged her gently, though made no gesture towards getting up. He would only get up if she did first. "Something to get your mind off of this."

[salylimon]

"After last night I think I should keep away from alcohol for a while," Emi replied with a weak laugh as she moved away, hand reaching up to hastily brush away the tears still clinging to her eyelashes. Carefully, and on slightly weak legs, she heaved herself up, leaning against the counter.

Leaning down before Ivan could stand, she pressed a grateful kiss against the crown of his head. "You're a sweetheart, Ivan," she said, fingers brushing aside his bangs as she straightened once again. "But I think some...water would be fine. Throat's a bit dry," Emi smiled sheepishly as she offered the blonde her hand.

[das_vedanya]

He could feel his cheeks burning with the blush settling on them. "D-da, it is really no trouble, Emi." He rose beneath the pressure of her kiss still soft in his hair by the help of her hand, realizing just how much taller he was than her once he stood. Nodding, as if to himself, he crossed the kitchen to fetch two glasses, filling one with water, and the other with a small amount of vodka.

He offered her the first, fullest glass, and smile. "The glass is half full, da?"