Cat Ears and Confessions
Kiku:
Though he had just invited Willem over, it seemed that his roommate had decided to visit first. Kiku's first impression of the boy had been...Well, it had been during the blackout, and there had not been much of the way in entertainment, alcohol not withstanding.
But he was still curious as to why the boy had chosen to visit him, of all people. "Hello..."
Marcello:
It was only just today that Marcello noticed Lucy-Junibelle reaching for an unattainable toy underneath the couch. When he crouched down to look, he discovered it was no toy, but those all-too-familiar cat ears from the blackout. He'd been looking for an excuse to get to know Willem's friend better, so dropping them off in person wouldn't be a bad idea.
"Ciao!" He smiled and waved at the man, now at his doorstep. "Catman Duchesso! It's been a while, huh? You left something at our place. Can I come in?" For a flicker of a moment he wondered if this was really okay. Maybe this person was a crush or an ex-boyfriend of Willem's or something and that's why they hung out so much. And if so, perhaps he was overstepping boundaries by coming. No, he was thinking too much. Even if that was the case, there was nothing wrong with a harmless visit.
Kiku:
"C-catman....ah..." Kiku stammered a bit, really not sure with the name. It had been one thing while the boy was crawling around drunk, but unless he was still intoxicated now..."Ah-h...yes. please do come in."
And had it been his imagination, or did he say something about an item left behind? He stepped back to let him in, pausing to lock the door, and then bustling off to make some tea for his unexpected guest. "Thank you for taking all the trouble to come over here to return my things. You really didn't have to come out of your way."
Marcello:
"I wanted to come!" Marcello smiled at took the nearest seat. "I'm kind of jealous that my roommate gets to see you lot and I don't, because I thought you were really fun at the party, you know?" He blinked at his own statement for a moment. "Well, it wasn't a party really, but it felt like it, didn't it?" He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the cute costume ears.
"Anyway, here it is! You left it behind and it got lost. Sorry it took so long to get them to you. My cat wanted them, but I don't really know what good they'd be someone who's already a cat. Maybe she's just greedy." He chuckled softly and outstretched his arm, presenting them to the man when he returned with the tea.
Kiku:
"Ah, thank you very much. These belong in the cafe..." He pushed the memory of his very odd attire from that day out of his mind, rather glad for the simple tracksuits he preferred to wear at home. At least this way, the boy wouldn't completely have the wrong idea about what sort of person he was.
"Is tea alright?" He asked, handing the steaming mug over. "I made it without thinking...but if you prefer coffee or something else, I have it."
Marcello:
He nodded enthusiastically. "It's good, I like it! Thanks!" It was a little bit of a lie. It tasted a lot like sticking a bunch of pennies in his mouth, but he was sure that was probably because his palette wasn't used to it. Maybe if this was Romano or Nicoleta or someone he would've said something, but the Seborgan wasn't completely dense when it came to social interactions. Who knew.
"So uh.. You've known Re for a long time? Did you guys go out or something? I found out recently that he likes guys, you know." He chirped away, not stopping to think whether it was good to be gossiping or not. "He's going out with the other guy that came that night, I think."
Kiku:
Kiku had to wrack his mind a moment to come up with who 'Re' was. Once figured out, he sat down carefully next to Marcello on the couch, processing the information. "I have been friends with Willem for quite a long time. Only friends." Taking a sip of tea, he paused a bit longer, considering Marcello's words. He was only partially aware of Wilm's orientation, but knew of past relationships. "Does it bother you, that he likes men as well as women?"
Marcello:
"Ah.." Marcello flushed a bit and his eyes darted to his lap. He wasn't prepared for that question. "No, not really..I mean..okay, sort of. It's a little weird in a..um..a not normal kind of way, right? But I'm okay with it because he's my friend. And I have other friends like that too. Plus Feli..he's my cousin and he's like that, but I love him so I don't mind it or anything." He sipped his penny water, trying to organize his thoughts.
"I just don't get it, you know? I don't get how people become that way. How do they know? And what do they have against girls? Girls are cute." He didn't realize his feet were fidgeting a bit.
Kiku:
"Hmm...It is a tough question. I don't think it has anything to do with 'having something against girls', however." It was as clear as writing on the boy's face that he was struggling to answer this question for himself. "As for how you know...some people are very lucky and they know from the beginning. Others have to figure it out on their own, and it might take a very very long time."
"I understand well enough how hard it is to seperate the enjoyment of cute things from the love of cute things," he said, gesturing to the array of figurines over his television. He had to be careful not to reveal too much of his personal feelings or past experience on the matter. "And just because you happen to appreciate something does not mean you have to love it."
Marcello:
The brunette was about to make a comment about how the figurines were indeed very cute, but Kiku pressed on, and his attention returned to the Japanese man sat beside him. At those last comments, Marcello went a little rigid and barked defensively after the gears in his head processed the message.
"Are you saying I don't like girls? You don't know me, Duchesso. I do like girls! I love them! I've kissed loads of girls in high school!"
Kiku:
"Then...you ought to consider yourself lucky. You figured it out quickly," he answered gently. "And now you don't have to spend years wondering about it." If the boy was going to be defensive, he would approach this cautiously.
"Since you came all this way, would you like something to eat?"
Marcello:
Marcello's defenses eased as Kiku spoke to him, maintaining a calm that in turn relaxed the Seborgan as well. He set the tea down and rested his hands against his lap, looking down.
"Yeah, pretty lucky.." He replied. But was he really? Or was that just what he wanted to believe because it was easier. He honestly didn't even know anymore.
"Sure, if it's not much trouble. I am kinda hungry." He responded a bit sheepishly. He wasn't a fan of accepting a lot of things from others, but he was slowly getting better at it.
Kiku:
As he disappeared into the kitchen, Pochi scrambled onto the couch to inspect the newcomer, sniffing and begging for affection.
It didn't take long before Kiku reappeared, reheated leftovers in hand. "It isn't much, I'm afraid, but--ah, Pochi! I hope he isn't bothering you!"
Marcello:
Instantly, he grinned and scooped up the puppy into his lap. "Hello there!" He nuzzled against its soft fur, oblivious as the whether or not the pup was annoyed or pleased by this.
"Oh, it's okay!" He looked up at Kiku when he returned. "He's cute. I think he probably smells my and Re's pets on me." He laughed and gave the dog a good scratch behind the ear, leaning forward to try some of the man's leftovers. "It still looks good for leftovers." He took a bite. "Tastes pretty good too." And this time, he was actually being truthful.
After a few bites, he glanced over at Kiku and swallowed, but not from the food. "Hey, I was just curious… How do you know so much about that stuff? You know, what we were talking about."
Kiku:
Kiku smiled as the young man complimented the food from his cafe, and he was glad that it at least reheated well enough when he brought it home. But the smile soon turned more thoughtful as he considered Marcello's potentially tricky question.
"I suppose, I have my own experience, as well as that of others. Many people struggle with finding an answer. Almost everyone, really, whether they say it out loud or not. It takes a lot of bravery to ask a question like that, you know."
Marcello:
Marcello stared back at him with a look that showed that Kiku's answer still had something left to be desired. Was he saying that he liked guys too or..? Marcello couldn't quite translate his roundabout response, but he decided to let it go.
"Brave, huh? I never thought about it that way, but I guess.." He trailed off, staring down at his plate. He took another bite gingerly, buying himself some time to think before speaking again. "What about dreams? Like, say I had a dream about another guy. That doesn't mean anything right? I mean, you can't help what you dream about."
Ever since the fire, when he did dream it was almost always nightmares; Dreams so violent he'd sometimes wake up in a cold sweat. There were only a few rare exceptions to this, and they almost always involved a certain blonde fellow.
Kiku:
"I suppose...dreams are hard to say for sure. But often they are a window into our subconscious. They probably don't always mean anything, but...chances are, if you can still remember it clearly, it may be something you need to think about." He didn't look at the boy on the couch beside him during his musings...trying to make them seem more like musings than actual advice. It sounded like he really was genuinely confused, but he just didn't know the Italian well enough to give him proper guidance.
"Do you like movies?"
Marcello:
He blinked. Why did it seem that whenever they got back on this topic, the man would change the subject. If anything, Marcello thought that he himself would be the one to steer the conversation in another direction, but now he was genuinely curious. Still, he answered Kiku's question.
"Sure, I like movies." He said simply. "I'll watch one with you if you want." He finished up his meal and went back to sipping his copper-tasting tea. "Um, anyway.." He began awkwardly. "The guy in my dreams. He was a good friend of mine but moved away suddenly and never told me where he was going or how to reach him. So I guess the dreams just mean that I miss him. Nothing more, right? Even if they're really really weird, that's just how dreams are?"
Sharing a bathtub with a close friend. Yeah, it was just a typical weird dream situation. Definitely.
Kiku:
Kiku moved across the room, gathering up a few dvds, carefully selecting the ones he thought would do Marcello the most good to see without scaring him away entirely. Fluff. Romance.
"Dreams...again, it is very hard to say. I would go with whatever feeling is strongest. The feeling that hits you first. But...your question is a little bigger than just the content of dreams, I think."
Marcello:
Marcello listened carefully before fixing the man with a rather deadpan stare. It was becoming clear to him that Kiku wasn't the kind of person you go to for advice, since all his answers either required decoding or were very vague. He sighed a little, letting it go and just decided to write him off as very nice, but not the deep discussion type.
"What movie are we watching?" He asked simply, relaxing into his seat as he gave Pochi's ear another good scratch.
Kiku:
"Something that may help answer your questions better than I can." He paused a moment. "Are you alright with subtitles?"
Marcello:
Marcello nodded. "I don't mind. I used to watch lots of stuff with English subtitles when I was trying to learn it, and sometimes I watched things in English with Italian subs." He smiled a bit, remembering how he'd be able to tell his parents that he'd studied for his English class with full confidence because of it.
Kiku:
"Ah..this should be no trouble then." Kiku settled back on the couch, letting the DVD player do the rest of the work. Purposefully, he picked something light and comedic to start with. Something about a high school boy being faced with the love of other boys, with enough sight gags that he was certain it would not hit too close to home.
He had a few more serious ones coming up after this, if the boy was still interested in watching.
Marcello:
The brunette seemed a bit uneasy when he saw that it was a cartoon. He had decided he was giving them up for Lent. Though, this seemed a bit different than normal cartoons. It was more like some kind of sit-com that happened to be animated. The guilt melted away as he became absorbed in the plot and he actually found himself laughing at several moments. Hopefully God won't be mad at him for finishing this little loophole.
"He fell flat on his face!" He laughed. "But I think I would too if a guy was about to kiss me like that!" He flushed a bit, considering it. " Well, I probably would. Not sure what I'd do exactly."
He continued watching until the movie ended and the end credits rolled. "Aw.." He sat back, realizing he'd been holding his breath to see that final climactic scene. "That was kind of nice. It's good that everyone ended up happy."
Kiku:
He smiled warmly. It was going better than he expected, really. Every so often, he would glance over to gauge Marcello's reactions, make sure he was not horrified or disgusted. But he needn't have worried at all, judging from the laughs many scenes were receiving.
"If you'd like, you can borrow the sequel. Ah...the next one here is a little different. The ending is nice, though. Would you like to see it?" He had picked one where the main couple faced opposition in their love...a little more sad and serious than the comedy, but a good follow-up.
Marcello:
"Sure, I'll borrow the sequel." Marcello replied, but then he thought about it further. How ridiculous would he look carrying a DVD around that featured an anime romance between to boys? If someone saw it, especially his friends, he'd never be able to live it down. Because gay themes were okay for some people, but for super-straight people like Marcello they just…weren't allowed.
"On second though, um, nevermind." He waved his hand a bit dismissively. "But sure, we can watch more if you want. I don't really mind it." He was trying his best to make himself look not /too/ interested.
Kiku:
"We can watch the sequel next time, maybe." A bit of a setback there, but...little by little, he could see some progress being made towards the acceptance. At the very least, he was not offended by it. Nor did he seem to question why he was in the possession of such a collection...
"This next one is actually one of my favorites. The cinematography is excellent."
Marcello:
"Oh yeah?" Marcello replied, interested. "Let's see. I mean, I'll give it a try."
And for the second time, he settled in to watch. Kiku was right, the cinematography was pretty amazing for an animation, and Marcello was instantly absorbed in it as well as the story and characters.
Though, this time he didn't find himself laughing or making comments. Sometimes he frowned or fidgeted or his eyes would trail away from the screen as if he was considering something important. This movie did hit closer to home in some ways.
Kiku:
The credits had finished rolling and the dvd had gone back to the menu screen before Kiku could open his mouth to speak. He sat very still, curled in on himself a little. Though it did have a happy end, it was still an emotional ride all the way through. Though he tried to hide it by not moving, his eyes shown with unshed tears. "What did you think...?"
Marcello:
"It was okay." He replied, pensively. He looked over at the man and his eyes widened a little. "D-duchesso, are you /crying/?" He couldn't believe this man of all people would expose his feelings like this.
"I mean yeah it was sad… They'll never see each other again but…" His eyes trailed away as his voice faded. It was strange. He felt a little pained in his chest. Just because the movie reminded him a lot of a situation with a friend of his doesn't mean it should be effecting him like this. But all the same, there was no denying that right now he really missed Otto.
Kiku:
"It's....ah...I apologize..." Perhaps he should have saved that one for a little later. He had forgotten how much it tended to shake himself up. "I sometimes get a little carried away....good film." It had nothing to do with one of the characters being estranged from his parents due to his lifestyle choices. Nothing at all.
Marcello:
"It's okay. You don't have to say you're sorry for anything." The younger man reassured him. "But maybe we should stop watching this stuff." He looked away, still a bit uneasy. "I mean, it was fun at first, but I'm starting to not like it." That was a lie. He did really like the story and thought it was a pretty nice movie even if he felt like he probably shouldn't. But if Kiku was willing to show such a candid side of himself to Marcello, perhaps he owed it to him to be a bit more honest.
"Well," He bit his lip a little. "I mean it's annoying because..well, you know, I can relate to it a little bit." He was fidgeting again.
Kiku:
He nodded, encouraging Marcello to speak. Partially because he was having trouble doing so himself, but mostly because it seemed like perhaps...they were on the verge of a breakthrough.
Marcello:
Marcello blinked in confusion when the other man didn't respond. He wasn't expecting the man to gesture for him to keep talking, but there they were sitting in silence and looking at one another. Timidly, he pressed on.
"W-well just the thing about the guy I knew…It just makes me think," He heaved a sigh. "What's the point? We went through all that trouble of getting to know each other again. You know, because I later found out that I first met him when I was little and stuff. But then he just leaves and I'm left wondering where we stand. We had a pretty good friendship going, but after all that what's the point?" His tone was agitated now, and a little hurt.
Kiku:
"Sometimes...that's the sort of thing life deals at us. Circumstances don't line up. We miss chances at happiness...Sometimes we are left wondering if the choices we did make were the best in the long run." He trailed off, staring at nothing for a moment. And then he brought his attention back to Marcello. "Even if he isn't here right now, there isn't any such thing as a pointless friendship."
Marcello:
He stared for a bit, processing the message. Then he finally smiled, understanding. "I guess you're right."
Out of the corner of his eye he could see that it was getting dark and he glanced at the nearest clock. "I should probably be heading back soon though." And with that he stood and offered the man an appreciative smile. "Thanks for hanging out with me. We should do this more."
Kiku:
"Feel free to come by any time. You're always welcome." He couldn't help the fond feelings for the boy, so unsure. "If you ever want to watch movies, or just talk."
Marcello:
"Sure, I'll definitely visit." He replied. He felt pretty content as he turned and headed out the door. "Thanks for the food and tea, too. Well, ciao!" He waved a little and started to walk away.
But when he heard the man finally close the door behind him, he stopped, his smile vanishing. He'd been given a lot of things to think about in such a short amount of time. There was a lot of sorting still left to be done in his head. Turning on his heels he went back to the door and knocked again, acting before his common sense could keep up with him.
Kiku:
He had already begun picking up the dishes to carry to the kitchen, almost satisfied with the way their conversation had turned out. It was not perfect by any means, and there was still quite a bit of time before anything was settled, but...it was a good start.
And then the door sounded again. "A-ah...come in?"
Marcello:
He shook his head. "No, I just have one more thing to say."
After a brief pause, he continued. "After all the stuff I saw today, it has me thinking. Do you think that maybe…?" He faltered for a moment and scratched at the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, maybe, I was thinking that maybe it felt like more than a friendship. I don't know for sure. I've just been afraid to think about it that way. I definitely like girls, but maybe there's more to it than that. Because..because I'm not going to lie and say he wasn't special."
He realized he was rambling and sighed. "I think maybe I can like guys if there really really special. That might be it." He gave the man a serious look. "I know we don't know each other well yet, but you have to promise not to tell anyone okay?"
Kiku:
It was....shocking to say the least. He had not expected the confession to burst out like that. There were still lots of reservations in the way, of course, but with time, he would get through them.
"It's your decision. Not mine, Marcello. I'll respect it." He smiled. "I do hope that this person finds you again, though. Or you him. Good luck."
Marcello:
He couldn't help but smile and without a second thought he hugged the man tightly. It was the Italian in him that wasn't at all bashful about close contact and gestures of affection and he held it for a long moment before letting go.
"Thanks so much Duchesso. You're a good friend." He smiled. And for the second time he back-stepped away with a casual wave. This time his smile was genuine as he turned to walk home.
Though he had just invited Willem over, it seemed that his roommate had decided to visit first. Kiku's first impression of the boy had been...Well, it had been during the blackout, and there had not been much of the way in entertainment, alcohol not withstanding.
But he was still curious as to why the boy had chosen to visit him, of all people. "Hello..."
Marcello:
It was only just today that Marcello noticed Lucy-Junibelle reaching for an unattainable toy underneath the couch. When he crouched down to look, he discovered it was no toy, but those all-too-familiar cat ears from the blackout. He'd been looking for an excuse to get to know Willem's friend better, so dropping them off in person wouldn't be a bad idea.
"Ciao!" He smiled and waved at the man, now at his doorstep. "Catman Duchesso! It's been a while, huh? You left something at our place. Can I come in?" For a flicker of a moment he wondered if this was really okay. Maybe this person was a crush or an ex-boyfriend of Willem's or something and that's why they hung out so much. And if so, perhaps he was overstepping boundaries by coming. No, he was thinking too much. Even if that was the case, there was nothing wrong with a harmless visit.
Kiku:
"C-catman....ah..." Kiku stammered a bit, really not sure with the name. It had been one thing while the boy was crawling around drunk, but unless he was still intoxicated now..."Ah-h...yes. please do come in."
And had it been his imagination, or did he say something about an item left behind? He stepped back to let him in, pausing to lock the door, and then bustling off to make some tea for his unexpected guest. "Thank you for taking all the trouble to come over here to return my things. You really didn't have to come out of your way."
Marcello:
"I wanted to come!" Marcello smiled at took the nearest seat. "I'm kind of jealous that my roommate gets to see you lot and I don't, because I thought you were really fun at the party, you know?" He blinked at his own statement for a moment. "Well, it wasn't a party really, but it felt like it, didn't it?" He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the cute costume ears.
"Anyway, here it is! You left it behind and it got lost. Sorry it took so long to get them to you. My cat wanted them, but I don't really know what good they'd be someone who's already a cat. Maybe she's just greedy." He chuckled softly and outstretched his arm, presenting them to the man when he returned with the tea.
Kiku:
"Ah, thank you very much. These belong in the cafe..." He pushed the memory of his very odd attire from that day out of his mind, rather glad for the simple tracksuits he preferred to wear at home. At least this way, the boy wouldn't completely have the wrong idea about what sort of person he was.
"Is tea alright?" He asked, handing the steaming mug over. "I made it without thinking...but if you prefer coffee or something else, I have it."
Marcello:
He nodded enthusiastically. "It's good, I like it! Thanks!" It was a little bit of a lie. It tasted a lot like sticking a bunch of pennies in his mouth, but he was sure that was probably because his palette wasn't used to it. Maybe if this was Romano or Nicoleta or someone he would've said something, but the Seborgan wasn't completely dense when it came to social interactions. Who knew.
"So uh.. You've known Re for a long time? Did you guys go out or something? I found out recently that he likes guys, you know." He chirped away, not stopping to think whether it was good to be gossiping or not. "He's going out with the other guy that came that night, I think."
Kiku:
Kiku had to wrack his mind a moment to come up with who 'Re' was. Once figured out, he sat down carefully next to Marcello on the couch, processing the information. "I have been friends with Willem for quite a long time. Only friends." Taking a sip of tea, he paused a bit longer, considering Marcello's words. He was only partially aware of Wilm's orientation, but knew of past relationships. "Does it bother you, that he likes men as well as women?"
Marcello:
"Ah.." Marcello flushed a bit and his eyes darted to his lap. He wasn't prepared for that question. "No, not really..I mean..okay, sort of. It's a little weird in a..um..a not normal kind of way, right? But I'm okay with it because he's my friend. And I have other friends like that too. Plus Feli..he's my cousin and he's like that, but I love him so I don't mind it or anything." He sipped his penny water, trying to organize his thoughts.
"I just don't get it, you know? I don't get how people become that way. How do they know? And what do they have against girls? Girls are cute." He didn't realize his feet were fidgeting a bit.
Kiku:
"Hmm...It is a tough question. I don't think it has anything to do with 'having something against girls', however." It was as clear as writing on the boy's face that he was struggling to answer this question for himself. "As for how you know...some people are very lucky and they know from the beginning. Others have to figure it out on their own, and it might take a very very long time."
"I understand well enough how hard it is to seperate the enjoyment of cute things from the love of cute things," he said, gesturing to the array of figurines over his television. He had to be careful not to reveal too much of his personal feelings or past experience on the matter. "And just because you happen to appreciate something does not mean you have to love it."
Marcello:
The brunette was about to make a comment about how the figurines were indeed very cute, but Kiku pressed on, and his attention returned to the Japanese man sat beside him. At those last comments, Marcello went a little rigid and barked defensively after the gears in his head processed the message.
"Are you saying I don't like girls? You don't know me, Duchesso. I do like girls! I love them! I've kissed loads of girls in high school!"
Kiku:
"Then...you ought to consider yourself lucky. You figured it out quickly," he answered gently. "And now you don't have to spend years wondering about it." If the boy was going to be defensive, he would approach this cautiously.
"Since you came all this way, would you like something to eat?"
Marcello:
Marcello's defenses eased as Kiku spoke to him, maintaining a calm that in turn relaxed the Seborgan as well. He set the tea down and rested his hands against his lap, looking down.
"Yeah, pretty lucky.." He replied. But was he really? Or was that just what he wanted to believe because it was easier. He honestly didn't even know anymore.
"Sure, if it's not much trouble. I am kinda hungry." He responded a bit sheepishly. He wasn't a fan of accepting a lot of things from others, but he was slowly getting better at it.
Kiku:
As he disappeared into the kitchen, Pochi scrambled onto the couch to inspect the newcomer, sniffing and begging for affection.
It didn't take long before Kiku reappeared, reheated leftovers in hand. "It isn't much, I'm afraid, but--ah, Pochi! I hope he isn't bothering you!"
Marcello:
Instantly, he grinned and scooped up the puppy into his lap. "Hello there!" He nuzzled against its soft fur, oblivious as the whether or not the pup was annoyed or pleased by this.
"Oh, it's okay!" He looked up at Kiku when he returned. "He's cute. I think he probably smells my and Re's pets on me." He laughed and gave the dog a good scratch behind the ear, leaning forward to try some of the man's leftovers. "It still looks good for leftovers." He took a bite. "Tastes pretty good too." And this time, he was actually being truthful.
After a few bites, he glanced over at Kiku and swallowed, but not from the food. "Hey, I was just curious… How do you know so much about that stuff? You know, what we were talking about."
Kiku:
Kiku smiled as the young man complimented the food from his cafe, and he was glad that it at least reheated well enough when he brought it home. But the smile soon turned more thoughtful as he considered Marcello's potentially tricky question.
"I suppose, I have my own experience, as well as that of others. Many people struggle with finding an answer. Almost everyone, really, whether they say it out loud or not. It takes a lot of bravery to ask a question like that, you know."
Marcello:
Marcello stared back at him with a look that showed that Kiku's answer still had something left to be desired. Was he saying that he liked guys too or..? Marcello couldn't quite translate his roundabout response, but he decided to let it go.
"Brave, huh? I never thought about it that way, but I guess.." He trailed off, staring down at his plate. He took another bite gingerly, buying himself some time to think before speaking again. "What about dreams? Like, say I had a dream about another guy. That doesn't mean anything right? I mean, you can't help what you dream about."
Ever since the fire, when he did dream it was almost always nightmares; Dreams so violent he'd sometimes wake up in a cold sweat. There were only a few rare exceptions to this, and they almost always involved a certain blonde fellow.
Kiku:
"I suppose...dreams are hard to say for sure. But often they are a window into our subconscious. They probably don't always mean anything, but...chances are, if you can still remember it clearly, it may be something you need to think about." He didn't look at the boy on the couch beside him during his musings...trying to make them seem more like musings than actual advice. It sounded like he really was genuinely confused, but he just didn't know the Italian well enough to give him proper guidance.
"Do you like movies?"
Marcello:
He blinked. Why did it seem that whenever they got back on this topic, the man would change the subject. If anything, Marcello thought that he himself would be the one to steer the conversation in another direction, but now he was genuinely curious. Still, he answered Kiku's question.
"Sure, I like movies." He said simply. "I'll watch one with you if you want." He finished up his meal and went back to sipping his copper-tasting tea. "Um, anyway.." He began awkwardly. "The guy in my dreams. He was a good friend of mine but moved away suddenly and never told me where he was going or how to reach him. So I guess the dreams just mean that I miss him. Nothing more, right? Even if they're really really weird, that's just how dreams are?"
Sharing a bathtub with a close friend. Yeah, it was just a typical weird dream situation. Definitely.
Kiku:
Kiku moved across the room, gathering up a few dvds, carefully selecting the ones he thought would do Marcello the most good to see without scaring him away entirely. Fluff. Romance.
"Dreams...again, it is very hard to say. I would go with whatever feeling is strongest. The feeling that hits you first. But...your question is a little bigger than just the content of dreams, I think."
Marcello:
Marcello listened carefully before fixing the man with a rather deadpan stare. It was becoming clear to him that Kiku wasn't the kind of person you go to for advice, since all his answers either required decoding or were very vague. He sighed a little, letting it go and just decided to write him off as very nice, but not the deep discussion type.
"What movie are we watching?" He asked simply, relaxing into his seat as he gave Pochi's ear another good scratch.
Kiku:
"Something that may help answer your questions better than I can." He paused a moment. "Are you alright with subtitles?"
Marcello:
Marcello nodded. "I don't mind. I used to watch lots of stuff with English subtitles when I was trying to learn it, and sometimes I watched things in English with Italian subs." He smiled a bit, remembering how he'd be able to tell his parents that he'd studied for his English class with full confidence because of it.
Kiku:
"Ah..this should be no trouble then." Kiku settled back on the couch, letting the DVD player do the rest of the work. Purposefully, he picked something light and comedic to start with. Something about a high school boy being faced with the love of other boys, with enough sight gags that he was certain it would not hit too close to home.
He had a few more serious ones coming up after this, if the boy was still interested in watching.
Marcello:
The brunette seemed a bit uneasy when he saw that it was a cartoon. He had decided he was giving them up for Lent. Though, this seemed a bit different than normal cartoons. It was more like some kind of sit-com that happened to be animated. The guilt melted away as he became absorbed in the plot and he actually found himself laughing at several moments. Hopefully God won't be mad at him for finishing this little loophole.
"He fell flat on his face!" He laughed. "But I think I would too if a guy was about to kiss me like that!" He flushed a bit, considering it. " Well, I probably would. Not sure what I'd do exactly."
He continued watching until the movie ended and the end credits rolled. "Aw.." He sat back, realizing he'd been holding his breath to see that final climactic scene. "That was kind of nice. It's good that everyone ended up happy."
Kiku:
He smiled warmly. It was going better than he expected, really. Every so often, he would glance over to gauge Marcello's reactions, make sure he was not horrified or disgusted. But he needn't have worried at all, judging from the laughs many scenes were receiving.
"If you'd like, you can borrow the sequel. Ah...the next one here is a little different. The ending is nice, though. Would you like to see it?" He had picked one where the main couple faced opposition in their love...a little more sad and serious than the comedy, but a good follow-up.
Marcello:
"Sure, I'll borrow the sequel." Marcello replied, but then he thought about it further. How ridiculous would he look carrying a DVD around that featured an anime romance between to boys? If someone saw it, especially his friends, he'd never be able to live it down. Because gay themes were okay for some people, but for super-straight people like Marcello they just…weren't allowed.
"On second though, um, nevermind." He waved his hand a bit dismissively. "But sure, we can watch more if you want. I don't really mind it." He was trying his best to make himself look not /too/ interested.
Kiku:
"We can watch the sequel next time, maybe." A bit of a setback there, but...little by little, he could see some progress being made towards the acceptance. At the very least, he was not offended by it. Nor did he seem to question why he was in the possession of such a collection...
"This next one is actually one of my favorites. The cinematography is excellent."
Marcello:
"Oh yeah?" Marcello replied, interested. "Let's see. I mean, I'll give it a try."
And for the second time, he settled in to watch. Kiku was right, the cinematography was pretty amazing for an animation, and Marcello was instantly absorbed in it as well as the story and characters.
Though, this time he didn't find himself laughing or making comments. Sometimes he frowned or fidgeted or his eyes would trail away from the screen as if he was considering something important. This movie did hit closer to home in some ways.
Kiku:
The credits had finished rolling and the dvd had gone back to the menu screen before Kiku could open his mouth to speak. He sat very still, curled in on himself a little. Though it did have a happy end, it was still an emotional ride all the way through. Though he tried to hide it by not moving, his eyes shown with unshed tears. "What did you think...?"
Marcello:
"It was okay." He replied, pensively. He looked over at the man and his eyes widened a little. "D-duchesso, are you /crying/?" He couldn't believe this man of all people would expose his feelings like this.
"I mean yeah it was sad… They'll never see each other again but…" His eyes trailed away as his voice faded. It was strange. He felt a little pained in his chest. Just because the movie reminded him a lot of a situation with a friend of his doesn't mean it should be effecting him like this. But all the same, there was no denying that right now he really missed Otto.
Kiku:
"It's....ah...I apologize..." Perhaps he should have saved that one for a little later. He had forgotten how much it tended to shake himself up. "I sometimes get a little carried away....good film." It had nothing to do with one of the characters being estranged from his parents due to his lifestyle choices. Nothing at all.
Marcello:
"It's okay. You don't have to say you're sorry for anything." The younger man reassured him. "But maybe we should stop watching this stuff." He looked away, still a bit uneasy. "I mean, it was fun at first, but I'm starting to not like it." That was a lie. He did really like the story and thought it was a pretty nice movie even if he felt like he probably shouldn't. But if Kiku was willing to show such a candid side of himself to Marcello, perhaps he owed it to him to be a bit more honest.
"Well," He bit his lip a little. "I mean it's annoying because..well, you know, I can relate to it a little bit." He was fidgeting again.
Kiku:
He nodded, encouraging Marcello to speak. Partially because he was having trouble doing so himself, but mostly because it seemed like perhaps...they were on the verge of a breakthrough.
Marcello:
Marcello blinked in confusion when the other man didn't respond. He wasn't expecting the man to gesture for him to keep talking, but there they were sitting in silence and looking at one another. Timidly, he pressed on.
"W-well just the thing about the guy I knew…It just makes me think," He heaved a sigh. "What's the point? We went through all that trouble of getting to know each other again. You know, because I later found out that I first met him when I was little and stuff. But then he just leaves and I'm left wondering where we stand. We had a pretty good friendship going, but after all that what's the point?" His tone was agitated now, and a little hurt.
Kiku:
"Sometimes...that's the sort of thing life deals at us. Circumstances don't line up. We miss chances at happiness...Sometimes we are left wondering if the choices we did make were the best in the long run." He trailed off, staring at nothing for a moment. And then he brought his attention back to Marcello. "Even if he isn't here right now, there isn't any such thing as a pointless friendship."
Marcello:
He stared for a bit, processing the message. Then he finally smiled, understanding. "I guess you're right."
Out of the corner of his eye he could see that it was getting dark and he glanced at the nearest clock. "I should probably be heading back soon though." And with that he stood and offered the man an appreciative smile. "Thanks for hanging out with me. We should do this more."
Kiku:
"Feel free to come by any time. You're always welcome." He couldn't help the fond feelings for the boy, so unsure. "If you ever want to watch movies, or just talk."
Marcello:
"Sure, I'll definitely visit." He replied. He felt pretty content as he turned and headed out the door. "Thanks for the food and tea, too. Well, ciao!" He waved a little and started to walk away.
But when he heard the man finally close the door behind him, he stopped, his smile vanishing. He'd been given a lot of things to think about in such a short amount of time. There was a lot of sorting still left to be done in his head. Turning on his heels he went back to the door and knocked again, acting before his common sense could keep up with him.
Kiku:
He had already begun picking up the dishes to carry to the kitchen, almost satisfied with the way their conversation had turned out. It was not perfect by any means, and there was still quite a bit of time before anything was settled, but...it was a good start.
And then the door sounded again. "A-ah...come in?"
Marcello:
He shook his head. "No, I just have one more thing to say."
After a brief pause, he continued. "After all the stuff I saw today, it has me thinking. Do you think that maybe…?" He faltered for a moment and scratched at the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, maybe, I was thinking that maybe it felt like more than a friendship. I don't know for sure. I've just been afraid to think about it that way. I definitely like girls, but maybe there's more to it than that. Because..because I'm not going to lie and say he wasn't special."
He realized he was rambling and sighed. "I think maybe I can like guys if there really really special. That might be it." He gave the man a serious look. "I know we don't know each other well yet, but you have to promise not to tell anyone okay?"
Kiku:
It was....shocking to say the least. He had not expected the confession to burst out like that. There were still lots of reservations in the way, of course, but with time, he would get through them.
"It's your decision. Not mine, Marcello. I'll respect it." He smiled. "I do hope that this person finds you again, though. Or you him. Good luck."
Marcello:
He couldn't help but smile and without a second thought he hugged the man tightly. It was the Italian in him that wasn't at all bashful about close contact and gestures of affection and he held it for a long moment before letting go.
"Thanks so much Duchesso. You're a good friend." He smiled. And for the second time he back-stepped away with a casual wave. This time his smile was genuine as he turned to walk home.