Napoleonic Wars Round 2

Mar 05, 2011 15:38

WHO: Jared, Emiliana, Leon and Francis (my poor Frenchman.)
WHEN: March 5th, afternoon
WHERE: Jared and Emiliana's apartment
WHAT: French Intervention of Mexico, take two.

exotic flowers? Let me pluck them~ )

france, status: incomplete, iroquois nation, ...what are you doing in my house!?, guys just wanna have fun, oh snap!, 911 what's your emergency?, south mexico, napoleon

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T-THIS IS SO WRONG. /3\ salylimon March 6 2011, 01:15:08 UTC
What was once pure frustration mixed in with just a slight spark of fear slowly began to manifest itself into full-fledged terror. Taking care of some perverted lecher, even one as minuscule as Francis' uncle, was one thing. But the fact that this man was slowly starting to expose himself as an insane pervert not above forcing his way into someone's home with a sword was another.

And her phone was in her room.

Reaching the phone in the living room could mean tripping over something.

Trying to run to the kitchen for a knife meant a shorter distance for the man to both follow and corner her.

There was slight noise of fear that escaped her lips as Emi narrowed her eyes dangerously at the leering idiot. She only had two other options: Bathroom or her room, where her machete was still resting on her dresser beside her phone. Swallowing, Emi took another step back as she absently wondered why John had to be out.

"Someone's delusional, I think~" Emi replied back, temporarily relieved that her voice didn't shake as she suddenly swung her fist into the man's face before bolting into the direction of her room.

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JARED NEEDS TO SHOW UPPPP. la_grand_vie March 6 2011, 01:31:39 UTC
"A-ACK-" Leon staggered back, not quite having expected such a cute little woman to react so violently so quickly! She did have a machete after all, but hand to hand combat was so... brutish! "Sacre bleu-! You should watch where you are swinging your fists! I would hate to have my beautiful nose broken~"

He huffed. Barely able to shout back at her as he rubbed his cheek. If he had any less pride he might say this one was a bit too feisty for him but... Well. He wasn't about to go down without a proper fight. She was already in her room though, and that made his approach to the door much slower than it would be otherwise.

Sauntering up, he leaned against the wood, humming and tapping on it with his fingers. "Oh come now chere~ You are being silly! So violent when my intentions are only of love~!"

meanwhile...

Francis had just woke up from a well needed nap- only to be harshly shocked from his drowsy state as he saw his laptop closed on the table- And his uncle no where to be seen. "LEON! Leon oh merde!" he scrambled over to the computer and opened it, staring at the screen, and the map on it, in stunned horror.

Not again.

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9-1-1, I HAVE A PERVERTED FRENCH MIDGET IN MY HOME. salylimon March 6 2011, 02:03:28 UTC
The moment she was sure her door was safely locked behind her, Emi practically sprinted toward her dresser, hand reaching out to grab her phone. However, she needed to take a minute or two to compose herself, heart beating rapidly against her chest as she tried to get her breathing (and sudden spiking anger) under control.

Her fingers had just wrapped around the handle of her machete as her left hand began to dial 9-1-1 when she suddenly heard a muffled version of Jared's voice. Emi paused, finger poised to press dial before she remembered that the perverted French pervert had a knife. Jared didn't. But Emi had a machete.

Well, at least she had self-defense on her side if manslaughter turned out to be one of her options for getting rid of the man.

She took another few seconds to inch her way toward the door, machete still in hand as her hand rested on top of the doorknob. Another breath and she pulled the door open, machete tapping against her thigh as she gave Jared a quick glance.

Why did life have to fail so much.

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NOTAMIDGET. la_grand_vie March 6 2011, 03:15:05 UTC
If there was anything a military strategist knew it was when to pull back- However, it had been a few (many) years since Leon could have claimed that title and his pride always seemed to puff him up a little too much at times. He continued to grin, though he did back up a bit in the hallway away from the beauty with the machete- and he kept an eye on the giant with the lacrosse stick.

"Ohoho," an eyebrow perked up and he looked between the couple again. "Two against one~? Well I have always been up for a challenge~"

He drew his sword languidly, edging around and making sure to not leave either of his flanks open. He wouldn't be defeated that easily-!

meanwhile... again...

Francis did not like any sort of physical fitness really, he did it- mostly for his appearance and to keep up the lavish eating habits he liked to entertain, but that did not mean ever that he enjoyed it. Much less running, in the cold, to catch his crazy uncle that was doing God only knew what now.

As if Emiliana and Jared didn't already hate him from before- He could only imagine what they were going to do with him once he got there.

Merdeeee.

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I CONCUR. salylimon March 7 2011, 01:19:05 UTC
Had her spiking anger and lingering terror subsided, Emi would have realized how utterly ridiculous this entire thing was. And maybe a small smart of her did notice how bizzare the scene unfolding in front of her was, but even that wasn't enough to stop Emi from suddenly faltering, her grip on the machete loosening as she watched on.

As much as she hated to admit anything of the sort, the perverted French midget appeared to be quite skilled with that sword. Enough to make Emi reconsider jumping in, as there was no way to properly determine would her getting involved would entail.

Though, tripping the man the moment Jared moved far away enough once Leon's back was turned to her seemed like a good idea. Even if it meant inching closer to said midget.

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.......... la_grand_vie March 9 2011, 01:26:09 UTC
"Léon! Merde oncle!" Francis called out as he reached the floor that Emiliana's apartment was on. Not that he had ever been there. Or... even knew what complex she was in- Wait why did this all seem so familiar- Whatever. He hurried down the hall and to the open door, staring in horror as his (little) uncle charged for Jared with his sword brandished.

But what horrified him possibly even more were Emiliana and Jared.

A... machete and a- lacrosse stick?

"O-Oh mon Dieu- S'il vous plait! E-Everyone just- STOP-!"

The tiny dictator Léon completely ignored his nephew, focusing instead and flourishing an attempt to stab Jared in the gut and doing his best to not get kicked, whacked, punched, or any combination of the three. "Ha! I am having much too much fun!" he called, grinning wickedly. "Cassie-toi Francis~!"

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:> salylimon March 9 2011, 05:29:35 UTC
Every swipe and every jab of the crazed midget's man's sword directed toward Jared left Emi's heart beating rapidly against her chest, only to have it clench painfully as her boyfriend just narrowly avoided its sharp edge.

Francis barging into their apartment, however, caused Emi to both falter and then briefly consider just throwing her machete at him. Because, in the end, this was probably all his fault. But Emi forced herself to resist, choosing instead to glare spitefully at the Frenchman.

Ignoring the tremble in her hand, she carefully changed the positioning of the machete in her hand-

Only to bring the handle down on to the back of Léon's head the exact same moment Jared's lacrosse stick decided to meet Léon's face.

Overkill?

Maybe.

Self-defense?

Yes.

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godlatelatelateshitfucksdklfhsoigh. la_grand_vie March 22 2011, 08:36:41 UTC
Francis could only watch in horror as his uncle suddenly dropped, all dead weight, to the floor and landed with a loud thump. Self-preservation quickly shut down in favour of running to Leon's side, practically holding himself over the small man in order to protect him from whatever other bodily harm Jared or Emiliana might feel like inflicting.

He knew Leon was less than respectable. He knew he wasn't a good man but- he couldn't lose another member of his family.

And that's what Leon was- His uncle, one of his old mentors (admittedly not one he would take lessons from anymore, but times had changed-). The Frenchman was terrified- if not of machetes and lacrosse sticks -of losing the last few members that he had left of his family.

"Please- S'il vous plait, monsieur- Jared-" he knew that man spoke French, and he knew that he liked Francis about as much as his uncle but maybe if he could just beg. "Let me take him- please I am begging you. We will leave right now and I assure you he will not come back- please-"

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