House wifu vs. HERO: Ultimate Showdown
Who: Alfred and Ion
When: November 14th
Where: Ivan's apartment
What: Alfred finally realises that the man handing him coffee every morning might be sleeping with Ivan.
( Good guys, bad guys and explosions, as far as they eye can see )
When: November 14th
Where: Ivan's apartment
What: Alfred finally realises that the man handing him coffee every morning might be sleeping with Ivan.
( Good guys, bad guys and explosions, as far as they eye can see )
In all honesty, he couldn't fathom what had...this manchild whose name he couldn't remember at the moment all upset. It certainly wasn't abnormal to share a bed with members of your family in other parts of the world. Perhaps this was just a bit of that infamous American xenophobia rearing its head. Still, the blush lit on his cheeks was more from embarrassment than shame at whatever sin he'd been accused of committing.
...really, to be caught sharing a bed with your older cousin because you both had a terrible nightmare that you just couldn't shake off...
Ion coughed once, adjusted the bandanna that held his hair out of his face, and resumed folding laundry, seemingly heedless of the abandoned pair of banana-print underwear on the floor. They were still in bad taste. It was hardly a subtle joke.
"If going to hit, ask to please do now. Have...have much chores today before Vanya come home..."
He couldn't resist, though it may have flown entirely over the American's head.
"S-so, if...i-if make feel better, please hit now. I not know what do bad, but if is right thing, p-please hit."
He bit his lip and cast gray eyes down to the pile of unsorted laundry. His hands came up to rest delicately on his cheekbones, and slid past them to grasp lightly at the locks of hair at the back of his head. It was an innocent-looking pose, unconscious but unknowingly well-practiced. Ion flicked his gaze up again and smiled shyly.
"If can wait for hitting, coffee already made for you. Sugar and...ah...two parrcent milk? Is what told you like with."
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Alfred could only remain so determined for a short time before he slumped, leaning against a wall, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn't exactly guilty, more just slowly realising that this guy honestly had no idea what he was talking about and clearly there were two trains of thoughts going on. He had to at least get them on the same rail before he could justify punching him.
Plus he was getting some serious Mattie-vibes from him which meant that either:
A) he was about to be stuttered at in an adorable fashion and made pancakes because Alfred had pulled him into a headlock and was giving a noogie
B) he was about to be yelled at in a passive-aggressive manner for three hours after which he would have to sit in a corner and not-cry while Matthew would make him a plate of apology pancakes.
Suddenly he had an urge for pancakes.
Okay. It was time to talk this out like adults so he took the coffee that Ion had prepared for him, letting the mug rest between his hands while watching the other man carefully. "When I say sleeping with," he said finally, since ion didn't look like he was going to breach the topic any time soon, engrossed in folding, "I mean sex."
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"English strange," he replied at last, "Have many words mean same thing, or use same word mean different thing."
He turned slightly to hang the shirts from the wire rack slightly overhead, murmuring to himself softly as he straightened them reflexively. He could practically sense the reproachful pout aimed at his back. He rolled his eyes once before turning back to Alfred with the barest hint of a smile touching his lips.
"Am...you think am...with Ivan--oh Doamne. Nu. Nu. Is cousin. No."
He moved to the next pile of clothing awaiting his attention, a quiet mutter escaping him unbidden.
"Americanii sunt foarte ciudat..."
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He smiled slightly at the cousin bit though, thinking of Natalia. "I can never be too sure with your family," he said, sipping his coffee, relaxing almost entirely, returning Ion's small smile with a brilliant one, "Y'all are weird sometimes. Well, Natalia's weird and besides your" -utter lack of gender differentiation- "bad English, y'all don't seem too strange yourself."
Watching Ion do the laundry, he tilted his head slightly. "Did y'all say something? And do... you want help or somethin'?" he needed to apologise in some way.
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"Am almost done, not need worry," he continued briskly as he gave the dryer's door a gentle kick to close it, "If wanting help, please keep underwear out of laundry. Am never sure what do with. Ivan get mad if I put in drawer."
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He clutched his cup a little closer, frowning. "So Ion, why did you come here anyway? Did you want a piece of that American dream or did y'all just wanna live with Ivan or something?"
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He stripped off the hated apron, pulling it over his head and wincing when it dragged the bandanna along with it and pulled at his hair unpleasantly. Ion gave a small huff and tossed the wadded mess of fabric into the laundry room behind him to be dealt with later.
"Am leave soon," Ion told Alfred absently. He eased the empty cup from Alfred's hands and collected a few more dishware paraphernalia abandoned in various rooms before depositing them in the kitchen sink to await his return tonight. "Am not sure what you want to do."
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He started towards the door, thankfully not too broken, obviously having been treated to this numerous times before. He stood there awkwardly, waiting for the other man.
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"Have to go to work," he murmured quietly. "Not think you want to stay here alone if Natalia coming home today."
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He winked, giving a small wave. "Nice to meet you Ion," and with that he slipped into the hallway.
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