So, a Japanese and an Italian Walk Into a Bar...

[moe_moe_desu]

WHO: Feliciano, Kiku, Atthis, Emi, Vash (NOW OPEN! COME IN, SEXY 21 AND OLDER~)
WHEN: May 16th, Sunday. Late in the evening.
WHERE: Honda residence, Vargas mansion, sexy night-club/bar, Jack in the Box
WHAT: Having a dead granny is a real downer, but luckily Feliciano has the cure-all solution: clubbing! and crossdressing
RATING: C for

Comments

[loves_pasta]

The time had gotten away from him again. Feliciano had forgotten a few things he had to do at work and then remembered he hadn’t exactly finished Kiku’s outfit just yet. Meaning some sewing, looking for fabric and them freaking out when he couldn’t find the matching shoes he’d sent forever one (they were under his bed for some reason). By the time he finished it was an hour and 50 minutes after the time he said he’d pick his Japanese friend up.

With a shout to Romano that he’d be back, maybe, before 3am and an answering yell Feliciano had flounced out of the house with keys in hand. Five seconds later the Ferrari was tearing out of the driveway backwards, nearly hitting a raccoon before speeding away. In typical Italian driving etiquette he ignored nearly every traffic sign in existence, swearing to avoid night joggers on the sidewalks, speeding red lights and stopping suddenly in the middle of a road to let a family of stray cats scurry across the road

Oh God That Poor Raccoon (;A;)

[moe_moe_desu]

Kiku had actually been waiting in the dark so as to not be rude and wake up his visiting relatives (actually, Grandpa was sleeping in his room so Kiku was relocated to the living room in the first place), but soon the lights in the house started flickering on one by one as a cacophony of barking, car alarms, and Feliciano's own brand of auditory mayhem effectively disrupted the peaceful atmosphere of the normally quiet Oriental neighborhood.

Pale-faced and panicked, Kiku scrambled for the door and rushed outside to hush at least one of the annoyances, wincing when he accidentally slammed the door in his haste. Not that it would be audible underneath all the other noises anyway.

Stop honking, you fool! You are the one who is late!

"Feliciano!" Kiku hissed and started flailing his hands in some vague be quiet motion. He put one finger in front of his lips and glanced back at the house, which was still gradually lighting up like a Christmas tree. He moaned inwardly in mortification at the thought of being implicated in the situation

Hey, at least he didn't /HIT/ it.

[loves_pasta]

Had social ques been a class he would have failed it as well. Spectacularly mind you. Head tilted, Feliciano couldn't make heads or tails of Kiku's flailing arms, pale face and obvious, to anyone who wasn't an idiotic Italian, distress. Thankfully in his confusion he let off the horn and leaned even further out the window, squinting

I Wanna Go Home Already (T~T)

[moe_moe_desu]

Kiku ought to have known better than to encourage Feliciano's dangerous habit of driving over the speed limit and down the opposite lanes. There wasn't even enough time to properly buckle himself down to the seat so he was forced to grab the handle above the window for dear life instead. By the end of their terrifyingly short trip his knuckles were white and colorless from holding onto it to so tightly. If Feliciano hadn't been there to forcibly drag him away from the car, he probably wouldn't have been able to even make it up the stairs by himself.

Once he had gotten some of his senses back he became acutely aware that someone was watching him. Or more like some people. Every doorway, it seemed, had a very serious looking man in a suit guarding it, and each one of them tipped their sunglasses down to give him a suspicious glare as he passed. Kiku couldn't help but break into a cold, nervous sweat, but even then he still found himself wondering what kind of idiot would wear sunglasses inside the house

Too bad~*~*~* ^3^

[loves_pasta]

"Buonasera Rodrigo~" Feliciano chirped, waving to the man standing guard near his own door. Again glasses were tilted and the nervous Japanese man was pinned with a glare. Seemingly ignorant he busted into his own room and slammed the door behind them. Kiku was ditched in favor of the closet, left to his own devices near the bed.

"Just a sec, ve~ I need to find the shoes for my outfit." A few random articles sailed out and made a messy pile on the floor before Feliciano came out triumphantly holding a pair of strappy, break neck heels over his head. Most woman were scared to wear something with a heel that high and he seemed perfectly okay with going out and dancing in them. Someone obviously dropped him on his head when he was little. Maybe those babysitters who were always cross-dressing him

I Am Not Wearing That

[moe_moe_desu]

Kiku stared at the clothes for a long moment, the expression on his face mildly bewildered and slightly afraid. His eyes flickered up to Feliciano's expectant smile, then back to the hanger. Hesitantly, he reached out to pinch some of the material between his fingers and rubbed it between his fingers curiously.

"Anou... Feliciano..." he cleared his throat and let it drop, folding his arms across his chest in a slightly defensive stance. "Are you quite sure that this is the outfit you were looking for?" Even for Feliciano's standards, it seemed a bit... odd. The color scheme itself was enough to burn his retinas.

Did all kids dress like this nowadays or was this just typical club attire?

That or Red Leather Micro-Mini. Pick.

[loves_pasta]

"Huh?" He looked at the outfits trim and horribly slightly clashing colors, seeing nothing wrong with it. A bit more out there perhaps than what he saw in Japan but this was America! You had to go big or go home. "Of course this was what I was looking for, ve. I just finished it before I got you." He thrust it against Kiku's chest, not even caring if he had a proper hold on it before moving away.

"I saw tons like it in Japan~ I had to make it more club appropriate though, ve." He grabbed another hanger and did a quick check of the neon bright, clashing colors. A hum of approval and he turned to his friend. "You can use the walk-in to change of you want, ve~ I know Kiki is embarrassed sometimes." He'd assumed only because of how the man flushed whenever he caught Feliciano sans pants at work.

"Hurry up~ We gotta get going A. S. A. P. ve!"

MY CHASTITY ;A;

[moe_moe_desu]

Kiku was a little skeptical about what parts of Japan Feliciano had frequented during his trip, but it did seem to resemble a kimono in a very, very distant way. And he wore a yukata in the summer, usually, so that made wearing this... thing alright, right?

Slightly apprehensive (and unsure of why he was even trying it on in the first place), he slipped into the closet to change. It seemed to fit comfortably, but that somehow only made him feel worse when he remembered exactly why Feliciano even knew his measurements in the first place.

Why was he always put into situations like this?!"Feliciano," Kiku stepped out of the closet to take a look in the mirror, absentmindedly picking at the ends of the clothing with the tips of his fingers. "...I am pretty sure this looks like a woman's clothing." He turned slightly to look at the back of the outfit and his face fell even more

IS DED >:D

[loves_pasta]

After making sure Kiku was safely in the closet Feliciano stripped. After struggling with the first part of his outfit and nearly falling over, twice, he managed to get it on properly, the rest of his clothes following... If you could call what he was wearing clothes that is.

By the time Kiku was out and questioning his own outfit Feliciano was on the bed putting on his heels. With as many straps as they had though, he might be there a while.

"No, no, its clubbing clothes Kiki! I designed them just for you, ve~ <3" He stood, one shoe halfway on and hobbled over and invading the man's space. He fixed the collar and righted a few other parts with the practiced eye of a fashion designer, humming his approval

M-MY DIGNITY-?!

[moe_moe_desu]

Feliciano's dictionary seemed to be from an alien planet if he considered "public" and "club" to be two different realms. The club was outside the home and filled with strangers who could judge you with dirty looks, which, to Kiku, accurately described all the criteria for a public institution.

Kiku eyed the dangerous looking heels for a moment, severely doubting that Feliciano would be able to even get down the stairs without breaking his neck, and fiddled with his own obnoxiously designed outfit self-consciously. He really didn't trust Feliciano's judgment usually, but he was supposed to be a fashion designer

ONLY A FEW SCRAPS ARE SALVAGEABLE.

[loves_pasta]

The hand holding the kohl dropped and so did Feliciano's grin. Pouting he waved the stick in front of Kiku's face. "It's only kohl, ve! It's not eye shadow or lipstick Kiki!" A few minutes of whining yielded no results besides a threat to leave.

Reluctantly he put the makeup bag away. After dabbing faint glimmers of shiny white and hot pink shadow on himself and lining his eyes black. And maybe putting on some strawberry lip gloss. You know... from habit. N-not like he would kiss anyone! He was engaged after all.

"Do you have your shoes on right?" Tripping in wedges wasn't really that bad to an experienced heel walker like Feliciano who only stumbled a bit when on carpet. To someone like Kiku though he could twist his ankle from a wrong step, no matter how small the height addition was.

He tucked a thin wallet with money and his ID into his bottoms then went to rifle in his closet for Kiku's pants and extracting the wallet there. Thankfully he'd thought ahead and made an inside pocket for his friend's outfit.

I SEE FORESHADOWING, YOU SLY DOG

[moe_moe_desu]

Kiku leaned against the wall and tugged at the straps of the oddly shaped shoes Feliciano had forced on him. They looked as gaudy as the rest of the clothes he was wearing, but at least they weren't stilettos. He couldn't really argue with that.

"I think so..." he mumbled half-heartedly and straightened up with a sigh, nearly toppling over when Feliciano invaded his personal space once again to shove his wallet inside his clothes (what? there was a pocket in there?). Feliciano seemed to take Kiku's mumbling as an ecstatic, "Yeah, totally, let's go!" because, before Kiku even knew it, they were on the move again and he was being shoved through the door.

The bodyguards were wearing visible smirks at Kiku's distress as Feliciano dragged him down the hall again. Whereas last time it had been somewhat helpful, now it was downright impossible to keep up with him without tripping over his own feet and nearly dragging Feliciano down with him every time. Feliciano had seemed to think it was "cute" but Kiku couldn't find anything moe in the

KEKEKEKE~

[loves_pasta]

People who drove with the Italian on a regular basis few were stupid enough to do so knew to buckle in as soon as they were inside, preferably sooner than the driver. Kiku's belt had clicked in place just in time. The second after, the car was in reverse, burning yet another mark into the riddled driveway as the car swung around 180 degrees. The poor gear shift was abused further, slammed into drive. A guardsman at the end of the driveway had to dive into the bushes as the car swerved from the path and jumped the curb. Tires squealed as they shot to their destination.

Obviously the 'Oh shit!' handle was a passengers' haven. And maybe a barf bag. And anxiety pills.

Feliciano rolled down the window, singing happily in his native tongue as they clipped corners, just barely missed pedestrians again, some on the sidewalk and ran red lights. One could only be thankful it was nearing the dead of night when few people drove