So much drama
Maybe Randy is right and I need a new start but I have so much here holding me back. For one, Amy, she needs me. That girl opens up to me more then anyone because she trusts me. Truth be told Amy is the one person I never worry about leaving me. No matter when, even if we are 2 million miles away, I know she is there. Two, my family. I know I fight with them all the time but we do have our good moments.... I don't know I am just growing up and looking around at what Florence has to offer and I don't want any of it. I mean I have good friends here but I don't really need them anymore. I have outgrown most of them. I don't want my daughter growing up here. I know that sounds crazy but this place sucks. The people you would die for won't even take a smack on the wrist for you. I am the kinda person that is willing to do anything for someone if they need it. When will I find the people that are willing to do that for me? SO many thoughts run my head as I am writing this so bare with me if it doesnt comne out right. I am at a point in my life where clubbing and drinking and flirting just don't do it for me anymore. Go figure I am finally growing up. The past three years I have fought to be the same person I was but looking back I dont respect the person I was. Three years ago the only thing on mu mind was drugs, parties, and boys. Now I am like Katelyn, job, college, place of my own. I never thought I would be where I am today but I guess where I am is not that bad of a place anymore. Now my biggest adventure is going to be Jason. SO much of me wants to move on and just be Katelyn's parents bu something inside of me won't let me move on completly... I'll figure it all out one day, hopefully.... Anyhow on a brighter note Carrie really came throughh for me and I owe her a lot right now. It's funny the ppl that step up when you need some serious help. Chi and I are currently fighting, not really sure why I don't remember. I am nto worried about it though, we get through this shit, we always do. I'll probably call her later and take the heat that I deserve. I was a tad bit outta line but there is so much on my mind lately its hard to keep it together. I keep wanting to pick of the phone and call someone but I end up throwing my phone back in my purse and make fun of myself. It's just hard letting go sometimes... I mean fuck, 5-6 years is a long time to just throw away. Oh well, somehow I guess its for the best. Anyhow I am going to get back to this hell hole I call work.