ahhh
So I woke up with a terrible case of the shakes. My hands keep shaking, hell holding a dr. pepper can is hard. I dont know what the hell is the matter with me. It shouldn't be nerves because I am calm for the most part. I don't know the past two nights I have only gotten 4 hours of sleep total and no nap during the day. Maybe thats the reason but who knows. So Mike and I figured out a solution to my "problem" lol. Let's just hope Carrie keeps her word in helping us trick a certain someone. Yeah I hung out with Mike at Bigg's yesterday morning. Overall he is a kickass guy. If I weren't trying to bag his best friend there would be some serious potential. So Jason made it to Germany safely thank god. He is all happy and shit. Makes me sick honestly. It's funny, I am proud of him for going but I wasn't ready for him to leave. I need him here to help with Katelyn. Don't get me wrong Katelyn isn't a bad kid or anything but she is just in the TERRIBLE TWO'S and everythig is NO MOMMY and then she hits and throws shit. I caught my camera in air yesterday. I guess I need to start getting more stern with her but I can't bring myself to smack her butt or hand for that matter. I don't know it's weird, I got thrown threw walls and belts as a kid and I always swore I would never lay a hand on my child but these time outs are more of a joke then anything. And then if I raise my voice I feel bad cus she looks so scared. NO I AM NOT SCREAMING at my kid, just speak a lil louder then ususal... I don't know. If Jason accepts and stays the 2 years and 3 months rather then the year and 3 months I don't know what I will do. I mean right now the thought of him not being here for her third and my 21st birthday scares me. What if she is almost five when he gets back? She won't know who he is and I have a feeling a custody battle will be starting when he gets back. He wants to buy a house and all that jazz but honestly, I don't trust him with her 24/7. I mean don't get me wrong Jason is a great dad and all but he is soo immature about certain things and the computer is like his best friend I just would worry all the time and I would miss Katelyn like crazy.. I love hearing her the morning she wakes up. It starts with a stretch, I can tell because she makes a lil squeak that she only makes when stretching, then its mama, mama, mommy, nana, nana, papa, papa, MOMMY! lol. SHe goes through the line in my house lol. I don't know I am not gonig to worry about that right now because honestly, if he is gone for two years no court in their right mind would give him to her when he has no bond or anything like that unless I am a crack whore and I know that wont happen so oh well..... Anyhow, I still gotta figure out when I am going to Fl. I might go to Va this weekend with Katelyn but I am not sure right now if I have the funds for that... Havn't talked to Scott in a day or so so I am not sure where he is or if he is ok. Blah I gotta get back to work... I wish I would fucking stop shaking! It's starting to piss me off lol...