My much-neglected space
I've not written an entry here for the longest time. Trawling through days and nights and months of things (preparing for a wedding, getting married, trying to buy a house, buying a house, work, being married, etc etc) have left me much exhausted.
In the words of the husband, all these things adds up and creates stress. Since the meltdown in December (I'm too ashamed to admit this to anyone), he's been very concerned that I'm on my way to a relapse of the condition which robbed my years and my joy in living. I'm concerned too.
I don't want to depend on medication so I've to make a choice about what's important now - my well-being that supersedes all. I have heard this sentiment expressed twice today - Work is just work. Rightly so, I shouldn't allow it to get to me like it has been.
I asked the husband what's wrong with me and why I couldn't just be like everyone else when faced with a work issue. I asked him if I was weak and that's why I'm struggling the way I am. His reply?
"No, you are not weak. It's juz like my gout which means I have to be careful with what I eat. It's like someone with diabetes or high blood pressure who has to take care to manage the conditions. You've had depression before so you have to take care so it doesn't come back."
Yes I need to take care of myself. To rest, refresh and recalibrate. I have a stirring in me that wants more in life and I know I'm getting there. But first, to be well, which is truly the way for getting there.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.