Oh, Oh! Oh, Bollocks.
Title: Oh, Oh! Oh, Bollocks.
Author: lollyphants
Summary: Sirius can still remember the first times he met Remus Lupin, he can still remember the exact moment he fell in love with him, the first time they kissed, the first time they fucked, the first time he said 'I love you'. Humour, Romance with a hint of angst.
Disclaimer: So not mine, seriously.
Warnings: Not too graphic sex, swearing and slash, obviously.
Rating: 15
Sirius Black can still remember the first time he met Remus Lupin, quiet, wide-eyed and timid. It was Wednesday, September 1st, 1971, Compartment three, Hogwarts express.
He offered his hand to the small boy in the patched robes, across the compartment, “I’m Sirius Black,” Sirius was too young, too “sheltered-Pureblood” to know better than to emphasize his families ‘purity’, “Who are you?”
“R-Remus Lupin.” The boy replied timidly, but almost defiantly as if he was daring Sirius’ to take issue with his half-blood stasis, instead Sirius asked him what house he reckoned he’d be in.
“I don’t know. Ravenclaw, I hope.” He answered. Sirius studied the boy in front of him and thought he looked like a Ravenclaw, very bookish. He was short and slim with gingery-brown hair and green? Possibly green, possibly Brown eyes. “You?”
“I’m hoping for Gryffindor.” Admitted Sirius, he didn’t think he would be, though. Even his uncle, even Andromeda had been in Slytherin, he’d be breaking a tradition of centuries if he weren’t.
In the end Sirius got what he wanted, Remus didn’t.
They were both happy.
*
Sirius Black can still remember the first time he met Remus Lupin, quiet, mischievous… werewolf. It was Saturday, December 1972, Gryffindor dormitory, Remus’ bed. Sirius had expected much more drama when he told Remus he knew, the only outward reaction from Remus was his eyes widening slightly and a small, muttered, “Oh.”
Sirius hadn’t told Peter or James yet, he wanted to make sure it was true. Now he knew it was he could tell them and set about trying to help Remus. He’d read about what Werewolves could do to themselves, Remus didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Sirius prompted and looked at Remus expectantly.
“Like what exactly? Why are you even talking to me? I’m a werewolf, blood-thirsty, dangerous monster, remember that part?”
Sirius laughed, “Yeah and I could probably still take you in a fight. You’re pathetic and surprising feminine, Lupin.” He joked.
And then that was that.
*
Sirius Black can still remember the exact moment he fell in love with Remus Lupin. Transfiguration, Wednesday 19th November 1975. Sirius was paired with James, they had already turned their hedgehogs into pincushions, and James’ was even patterned with Snitches and Quaffles. Sirius was distractedly changing the colours of the hedgehog-Pincushion hybrids around the room whilst he argued about Quidditch with James,“Lucinda Dearborn, is an appalling chaser Prongs, the only reason you bloody support them is because of her tits.”
Without even pausing in his rant about how talent- less but fit as the Holyhead Harpies chaser was, he turned to Remus’ now completely transfigured pincushion and charmed it a lovely green colour, with bright pink stitching that declared Remus J. Lupin’s undying love for ‘Minnie Mcgonners, Head of my House, house of my head.” Which Sirius was quite proud of and he really hoped that McGonnagal would read it because what’s the point of making cheap innuendoes about people if they’re not even there to get offended? Remus, who had been grabbing a quill from his bag at this point, turned to look at his pincushion and did not look amused. He turned to Sirius scowl on his mouth but mischief in his eyes, Sirius knew that his revenge would be swift and merciless, but all he could concentrate on was his sudden lack of stomach. ‘Oh,’ he thought, then ‘Oh!’ followed by an ‘Oh, Bollocks.”
*
Sirius Black can still remember his first kiss with Remus Lupin. On their way to the Kitchens, under the invisibility cloak, Monday the 5th of April, 1976. It was quick, soft, wet and terrified. It left Sirius with shaky knees and Remus wide-eyed. Sirius also remembers the next sixteen kisses, almost as vividly as he remembers the Potter’s demolished home and the glassy eyes of James and Lily. Almost.
After the sixteenth, Sirius stopped counting, but the novelty that he could Kiss Remus never truly wore off.
Sirius Black can still remember the first time Remus Lupin fucked him. Remus Lupin’s bed, Saturday, February 13th, 1977. Sirius still laughs at that, the fact they couldn’t wait that extra day, actually he though it best they did wait. Losing his V, on Valentine’s Day? Cliché, much?
It wasn’t anything near perfect. They had used entirely too much lube making it almost unpleasantly wet. Almost. Nothing could really detract from the sensation of Remus being hot, hard and in him.
*
Sirius Black can still remember the first time he told Remus Lupin he loved him, Tuesday 9th of August, 1977, Sirius Black’s flat, Pimlico, London.
Sirius was making coffee for himself (Black, four sugars) and tea for Remus (Earl Gray, milky, one and a half sugars). He walked into the living room two mugs in hand, one “borrowed” from the Potter and the other, well Sirius didn’t know where the other one came from but it was free crockery so he didn’t really mind at all how he got it. Remus was sat on the sofa laughing quietly to himself.
“What?” Sirius asked him curiously and set down the tea in front of him.
“Oh, nothing,” Remus answered sobering up, but then, knowing that Sirius being Sirius would ask him to elaborate, he explained, “I’m just an idiot. I’ve just tried to accio my jumper with one of your paintbrushes. It took about ten minutes for me to realise it wasn’t my wand.”
Sirius snorted, “I love you so much, but you can be a right dozy twat at times.”
Remus threw the paintbrush at him but was grinning from ear-to-ear.
*The End*
Author: lollyphants
Summary: Sirius can still remember the first times he met Remus Lupin, he can still remember the exact moment he fell in love with him, the first time they kissed, the first time they fucked, the first time he said 'I love you'. Humour, Romance with a hint of angst.
Disclaimer: So not mine, seriously.
Warnings: Not too graphic sex, swearing and slash, obviously.
Rating: 15
Sirius Black can still remember the first time he met Remus Lupin, quiet, wide-eyed and timid. It was Wednesday, September 1st, 1971, Compartment three, Hogwarts express.
He offered his hand to the small boy in the patched robes, across the compartment, “I’m Sirius Black,” Sirius was too young, too “sheltered-Pureblood” to know better than to emphasize his families ‘purity’, “Who are you?”
“R-Remus Lupin.” The boy replied timidly, but almost defiantly as if he was daring Sirius’ to take issue with his half-blood stasis, instead Sirius asked him what house he reckoned he’d be in.
“I don’t know. Ravenclaw, I hope.” He answered. Sirius studied the boy in front of him and thought he looked like a Ravenclaw, very bookish. He was short and slim with gingery-brown hair and green? Possibly green, possibly Brown eyes. “You?”
“I’m hoping for Gryffindor.” Admitted Sirius, he didn’t think he would be, though. Even his uncle, even Andromeda had been in Slytherin, he’d be breaking a tradition of centuries if he weren’t.
In the end Sirius got what he wanted, Remus didn’t.
They were both happy.
*
Sirius Black can still remember the first time he met Remus Lupin, quiet, mischievous… werewolf. It was Saturday, December 1972, Gryffindor dormitory, Remus’ bed. Sirius had expected much more drama when he told Remus he knew, the only outward reaction from Remus was his eyes widening slightly and a small, muttered, “Oh.”
Sirius hadn’t told Peter or James yet, he wanted to make sure it was true. Now he knew it was he could tell them and set about trying to help Remus. He’d read about what Werewolves could do to themselves, Remus didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Sirius prompted and looked at Remus expectantly.
“Like what exactly? Why are you even talking to me? I’m a werewolf, blood-thirsty, dangerous monster, remember that part?”
Sirius laughed, “Yeah and I could probably still take you in a fight. You’re pathetic and surprising feminine, Lupin.” He joked.
And then that was that.
*
Sirius Black can still remember the exact moment he fell in love with Remus Lupin. Transfiguration, Wednesday 19th November 1975. Sirius was paired with James, they had already turned their hedgehogs into pincushions, and James’ was even patterned with Snitches and Quaffles. Sirius was distractedly changing the colours of the hedgehog-Pincushion hybrids around the room whilst he argued about Quidditch with James,“Lucinda Dearborn, is an appalling chaser Prongs, the only reason you bloody support them is because of her tits.”
Without even pausing in his rant about how talent- less but fit as the Holyhead Harpies chaser was, he turned to Remus’ now completely transfigured pincushion and charmed it a lovely green colour, with bright pink stitching that declared Remus J. Lupin’s undying love for ‘Minnie Mcgonners, Head of my House, house of my head.” Which Sirius was quite proud of and he really hoped that McGonnagal would read it because what’s the point of making cheap innuendoes about people if they’re not even there to get offended? Remus, who had been grabbing a quill from his bag at this point, turned to look at his pincushion and did not look amused. He turned to Sirius scowl on his mouth but mischief in his eyes, Sirius knew that his revenge would be swift and merciless, but all he could concentrate on was his sudden lack of stomach. ‘Oh,’ he thought, then ‘Oh!’ followed by an ‘Oh, Bollocks.”
*
Sirius Black can still remember his first kiss with Remus Lupin. On their way to the Kitchens, under the invisibility cloak, Monday the 5th of April, 1976. It was quick, soft, wet and terrified. It left Sirius with shaky knees and Remus wide-eyed. Sirius also remembers the next sixteen kisses, almost as vividly as he remembers the Potter’s demolished home and the glassy eyes of James and Lily. Almost.
After the sixteenth, Sirius stopped counting, but the novelty that he could Kiss Remus never truly wore off.
Sirius Black can still remember the first time Remus Lupin fucked him. Remus Lupin’s bed, Saturday, February 13th, 1977. Sirius still laughs at that, the fact they couldn’t wait that extra day, actually he though it best they did wait. Losing his V, on Valentine’s Day? Cliché, much?
It wasn’t anything near perfect. They had used entirely too much lube making it almost unpleasantly wet. Almost. Nothing could really detract from the sensation of Remus being hot, hard and in him.
*
Sirius Black can still remember the first time he told Remus Lupin he loved him, Tuesday 9th of August, 1977, Sirius Black’s flat, Pimlico, London.
Sirius was making coffee for himself (Black, four sugars) and tea for Remus (Earl Gray, milky, one and a half sugars). He walked into the living room two mugs in hand, one “borrowed” from the Potter and the other, well Sirius didn’t know where the other one came from but it was free crockery so he didn’t really mind at all how he got it. Remus was sat on the sofa laughing quietly to himself.
“What?” Sirius asked him curiously and set down the tea in front of him.
“Oh, nothing,” Remus answered sobering up, but then, knowing that Sirius being Sirius would ask him to elaborate, he explained, “I’m just an idiot. I’ve just tried to accio my jumper with one of your paintbrushes. It took about ten minutes for me to realise it wasn’t my wand.”
Sirius snorted, “I love you so much, but you can be a right dozy twat at times.”
Remus threw the paintbrush at him but was grinning from ear-to-ear.
*The End*