I don't know whats going on anymore...
I dont know whats going on anymore...
I'm supposed to be happy... I'm supposed to be ok and feel great given the fact I DO have a boyfriend... but I don't... hell I feel yuck... guilty, hurt, broken down, broken, fucked up... just all around I feel like CRAP... I just want someone to fucking cut me all over and stab 5 times in a star like motion around my heart rip off the skin and wrench my heart out with a fucking SPORK!!!
I hate who I am.... I hate who I've become... fuck... a unemotional heartless whore...
I have everything a girl could want... and yet... I feel like shit...
I broke the promise to warren... I promised I wouldn't cut... well whoopdee doo... what the fuck does cassie do... fucking cut... I'm a failure of a friend and a fucking girlfriend.. I fucked up one too many times now...
I stopped pill popping for him... infact i stopped alot of shit i do for him... I guess its for my good..
hes gone... they cut it down to three months... i guess thats good... then hes moving here and wants me to move in with him... I dont know... I still have 3 more years of fucking school... *yawnage*
fuck... I need to study n shit... I wanna be with him but not living with him while im still at school... I don't know im totally confused...
so much shit is running through my head...
I wanna cut... everysingle drop of blood that is possible to drop out of my fucking hate filled body.... I'm trapped and noone can help me...
or is it that I don't want any help... who knows...
as kurt cobain had once said... "I hate myself and I wanna die"...
the end....
I'm sorry to put you through all this bullshit...
<333 cassie