(no subject)
I read matts journal entry.... that made me sick.... not disgusted sick...
more so nervous sick because I had planned to do something really stupid last night.... and leave a letter to a few people....
and it kinda shocked me....
alot...
eh last night was....really scary....
really really scary... I was sitting on the toilet lol like I do... and I had fully shut the door... and like once i was in the middle of doing my buissiness... the door opened... and i saw a eye a nose and a mouth.. and I asked them who was it... no reply... THEN I finished... and was kinda freaked out... I came back on the computer to talk to JON and... he was freaking out... I was more so calm... I must have blacked out or something cause I can't remember shit and he posted this whole convo I DONT!! remember typing.. and then I noticed my wrist was stinging and It kinda felt all weird n noticed it was bleeding like a bitch.... so yea it was so weird... so after talking to josh 3 hours later n jon passing out... I decided to lock the doors... I ended up cutting... and woke up at 6:24am by my Grandma lol banging on my window... cause she didnt have a key to let herself in... and yea... a few days ago she had put a pair of her old underwear in the bin... and someone had TAKEN it out of the BIN and put it on the front door step... I don't know whats going on but I'm freaking out... I feel so so so fucking sick atm... I have lost my whole appitite.... bleh....
Josh and I had a deep and meaningful last night... he thinks I'm the one for him... and that we're meant to be togeather blah blah blah... but I don't want to be with anyone... I just want ali back... she doesn't belive/want us to be togeather... so I guess... thats just life... I'm not giving up... I'm just leaving it...
I don't want to be here anymore... I can't be here anymore... I'm not meant to be here...
<333cassie
Smiling on the outside... but hurt beneath my skin...
more so nervous sick because I had planned to do something really stupid last night.... and leave a letter to a few people....
and it kinda shocked me....
alot...
eh last night was....really scary....
really really scary... I was sitting on the toilet lol like I do... and I had fully shut the door... and like once i was in the middle of doing my buissiness... the door opened... and i saw a eye a nose and a mouth.. and I asked them who was it... no reply... THEN I finished... and was kinda freaked out... I came back on the computer to talk to JON and... he was freaking out... I was more so calm... I must have blacked out or something cause I can't remember shit and he posted this whole convo I DONT!! remember typing.. and then I noticed my wrist was stinging and It kinda felt all weird n noticed it was bleeding like a bitch.... so yea it was so weird... so after talking to josh 3 hours later n jon passing out... I decided to lock the doors... I ended up cutting... and woke up at 6:24am by my Grandma lol banging on my window... cause she didnt have a key to let herself in... and yea... a few days ago she had put a pair of her old underwear in the bin... and someone had TAKEN it out of the BIN and put it on the front door step... I don't know whats going on but I'm freaking out... I feel so so so fucking sick atm... I have lost my whole appitite.... bleh....
Josh and I had a deep and meaningful last night... he thinks I'm the one for him... and that we're meant to be togeather blah blah blah... but I don't want to be with anyone... I just want ali back... she doesn't belive/want us to be togeather... so I guess... thats just life... I'm not giving up... I'm just leaving it...
I don't want to be here anymore... I can't be here anymore... I'm not meant to be here...
<333cassie
Smiling on the outside... but hurt beneath my skin...