Long overdue update
Okay guys, It';s a really overdue update because it was just the other day I found 'a letter to myself', cried, and then found my old 101 list and cried again. I cried because I was so proud of how much I had changed and how much I had gotten done, even if I kind of forgot about the list half way through.
Some of the greatest accomplishments for me was getting over my fear of failure. After a gruesome placement test that determined I belonged in the very beginner level of Chinese, I kind of lost heart and dropped it. I added quite a bit of goals related to improving my Chinese on my 101 list although at the time I didn't have much faith. I thought I was being too harsh on myself. But I proved myself within just a few months of intensive study to far exceed those expecctations. Not only did I get myself to relearn the Chinese to a greater degree than I had before I dropped it, but I also managed the courage to continue my studies in Harbin, where I had always dreamed of going not just for study but also to see the hometown of my dad and grandmother. I received a scholarship later to study in Beijing, for a scholarship I had applied for pre-going to China despite feelings that I probably wouldn't get it. It was an amazing journey. I met amazing people, I backpacked in Yunnan, Visited Guilin on a class trip, and experienced a part of life that I never thought would be possible for me.
Strangely enough, going abroad infact got me closer with my dad, despite being across the country. He had fun teaching me recipes, and recalling some of the things I spoke about that I came across in Harbin. He remembered more stories of his family members and past, and happily shared them with me. His friend came over to China for a conference one summer and we met up and he took me around the areas that my dad and Grandmother grew up in and told me about the Tatar community in those times. Later my father and mother joined me and I took them around myself.
With this newfound confidence, I traveled to meet one of my best friends that lives in malaysia. I've known her for 10 years now, we met on a harry potter forum and have since then spoken every day. Meeting her was nothing strange and it didn't change things that we had never met in person before that day, probably because we spoke every day.
Years ago I wrote "Most important of all, I hope what you get is confidence. I know I can feel really inadequate most of the time for silly reasons. Really girl, you must work on that if you haven't already! Dont lose who you are though! It sounds corny, but I've seen people change, and it's not plesant at all. Even if I am loser status, I can take pride int he fact that i'm still the same person, just fascinated by different things"
And I believe the old me would be so proud of the me I am today. I might not have gotten everything done on the list, but the most important thing I gained of all this was being true to myself, and not letting the little things get me down.
I wish the rest of you good luck on your journeys, and hope like me in the future you'll find yourself looking back at your list and crying like an idiot over how darn proud you are!
Some of the greatest accomplishments for me was getting over my fear of failure. After a gruesome placement test that determined I belonged in the very beginner level of Chinese, I kind of lost heart and dropped it. I added quite a bit of goals related to improving my Chinese on my 101 list although at the time I didn't have much faith. I thought I was being too harsh on myself. But I proved myself within just a few months of intensive study to far exceed those expecctations. Not only did I get myself to relearn the Chinese to a greater degree than I had before I dropped it, but I also managed the courage to continue my studies in Harbin, where I had always dreamed of going not just for study but also to see the hometown of my dad and grandmother. I received a scholarship later to study in Beijing, for a scholarship I had applied for pre-going to China despite feelings that I probably wouldn't get it. It was an amazing journey. I met amazing people, I backpacked in Yunnan, Visited Guilin on a class trip, and experienced a part of life that I never thought would be possible for me.
Strangely enough, going abroad infact got me closer with my dad, despite being across the country. He had fun teaching me recipes, and recalling some of the things I spoke about that I came across in Harbin. He remembered more stories of his family members and past, and happily shared them with me. His friend came over to China for a conference one summer and we met up and he took me around the areas that my dad and Grandmother grew up in and told me about the Tatar community in those times. Later my father and mother joined me and I took them around myself.
With this newfound confidence, I traveled to meet one of my best friends that lives in malaysia. I've known her for 10 years now, we met on a harry potter forum and have since then spoken every day. Meeting her was nothing strange and it didn't change things that we had never met in person before that day, probably because we spoke every day.
Years ago I wrote "Most important of all, I hope what you get is confidence. I know I can feel really inadequate most of the time for silly reasons. Really girl, you must work on that if you haven't already! Dont lose who you are though! It sounds corny, but I've seen people change, and it's not plesant at all. Even if I am loser status, I can take pride int he fact that i'm still the same person, just fascinated by different things"
And I believe the old me would be so proud of the me I am today. I might not have gotten everything done on the list, but the most important thing I gained of all this was being true to myself, and not letting the little things get me down.
I wish the rest of you good luck on your journeys, and hope like me in the future you'll find yourself looking back at your list and crying like an idiot over how darn proud you are!