Never Leave Your Heart Alone 1/?
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. ABC does, sadly. All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: After Erica sees leaves, Callie doesn't leave...
This is my first Callica fic, from Callie's point of view. Enjoy and let me know what you think!
I wanna thank superfy_me for betaing this and encouraging me. You're the best!
Also, a big shoutout to thecon12 for all the inspiration!
Part One
I let out a completely satisfied laugh as I roll off of Erica and give her a sweet short kiss.
"That was amazing!", she chuckles.
"Yay!", I smile at her as I clench my fists in celebration of the most amazing morning-after sex I've ever had with anyone, "It was for me, too."
She presses her body even closer to mine, and looks at me in the most loving way, "I mean, that was amazing!", she repeats. "Me too", I assure her, returning her loving look as I get up to grab my clothes from the chair I discarded them on when we "transferred" from the bunk in the on-call room to her king size bed last night.
Erica pushes herself up on her elbows, sitting up she says: "My whole life…. my whole adult life I have been with men…. and it always felt, you know… fine… good… but I never..." she laughs, "I mean I did but not… not like this… this is like needing glasses."
I looked at her with an amused smile on my lips, "I've blinded you?", I ask jokingly.
"No…when I was a kid, I would get these headaches, and I went to the doctor and they said that I needed glasses; I didn't understand that, it didn't make sense to me because I could see fine and then I get the glasses and I put them on and I'm in the car on the way home and suddenly I yell…", her voice breaks as her eyes start to water, but she continues "Because the big green blobs that I had been staring at my whole life… they weren't big green blobs, they were leaves; on trees… I could see the leaves… and I didn't even know I was missing the leaves, I didn't even know leaves existed and then leaves…!"
I'm not sure I understand what she's saying, but I don't even have to ask, she sees the question mark on my face and explains, "You are glasses… I am so gay, I am so, so, so gay, I am extremely gay!"
Oh. My. God.
She did not just say that! I feel panic rising from my gut. "I... have to go", I stammer and turn to the door to leave.
"Callie!" - her voice holds me back - "Dammit, you're doing it again" she says, sobbing.
"Doing what?", I ask as I turn to face her.
"You're running. Again. Every time you can't deal with something, you run. Next thing you know, you'll be screwing Sloan again. That's what you did last time."
She's right. She's so right. This is what I do when I feel trapped and I can't deal with something. I run. And I sleep with Mark. But not this time. I turn to look at her as tears start running down her cheeks.
"Don't cry, babe", I hurry back to her bed, sit on the edge and give her a comforting hug, "it's gonna be alright."
She buries her face in my shoulder, sobbing even louder, as I massage the back of her head, trying to calm her.
"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere.", I assure her. I am only now realizing what just happened.
Erica just came out. She just jumped out of the closet.
She lifts her head and I kiss her eyes, tasting her salty tears.
"You're not going to run?", she asks, her voice still shaking. "No", I reply, "I'm going to stay right here with you".
Giving her a soft kiss, I crawl back under the navy duvet and cuddle up against her. She immediately wraps her arms around me, pulling me closer.
"Callie", she whispers, "I love you".
"I love you, too, Erica", I respond as I nuzzle my cheek against hers. We lay in silence for about half an hour, savoring each other's scent, finding comfort in each other's arms. I almost fall asleep again, but her voice gets me back into a fully conscious state, "I need coffee", she says.
"I'll make you breakfast, babe", I offer, "Pancakes and fruit?". She simply nods and then buries her face in the pillow, "With lots of syrup!", she mumbles. "Of course", I chuckle, "I always knew you were the sweetest!", I can almost feel the smile spreading across her face.
I put on the robe that hangs on the back of the door and walk into the kitchen. I know my way around her apartment pretty well from all our cooking sessions, so I quickly get out a pan, a midsize bowl and the ingredients for my grandmother's moist buttermilk pancakes; then I go turn on the coffee machine.
When I finish the stack of pancakes, I put two plates and two mugs filled with steaming coffee on a tray and carry it back into the bedroom. Erica is sitting on the edge drying her hair with a towel, the scent of her shampoo filling the room.
"Oh, great, I'm starving!", she says as she takes the tray and carefully places it in the middle of the mattress. I crawl back underneath the covers and put two pancakes on each plate, top them with freshly cut fruit and make sure I put some extra syrup on hers.
"There ya go, sweety", I say as I hand her her plate. "It looks so yummy" she says and takes a first bite. "Oh my god, Cal, these are amazing!" - "You are amazing!", I retort.
Erica lets out a chuckled and smiles at me as she takes my hand and entwines our fingers. We eat in silence, constantly shooting looks at each other and laughing whenever one of us glances just a little too long.
When we have both finished, I take the tray back into the kitchen; Erica follows me and falls down onto the couch in her living room. I put the plates into the dishwasher and then walk over into the living room to join her. After I've made myself comfortable on the couch she leans in and gives me a delicate kiss.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened this morning?", I ask. "Yes, I think we should talk about it before you run again.", she teases.
"Erica, I won't run, I promise", I assure her and cross my middle over my index finger as I shuffle closer to her, putting my arms around her waist, to show her I’m not going anywhere, "We'll talk until we're all talked.", I smile at her.
"Listen, I know I scared the crap out of you..." Erica begins - "Well that's the understatement of the year", I tease - she sighs and continues, "But last night really opened my eyes. It was the biggest revelation of my life... I never cried like that before. Ever. But I know what I've been missing now, and I can assure you, I am never ever going to have sex with a man again."
The determined look in her blue eyes tells me that she is sure about this, really sure. "So I'm sorry I scared you, I really am.", she says softly.
I look her deep into the eyes, "Don't apologize", I tell her, "I'm glad you told me." She sighs in relief as she kisses my cheek. Then she takes both my hands and looks at me, her eyes filled with compassion.
"Now, I don't know how you feel about this, but I want you to know, that whatever you figure out for yourself, it's going to be okay. We said we would be scared together, and now that I'm not scared anymore, I will be there for you until you're not scared anymore either.", she says, her voice calm and comforting, "Tell me how you feel, Cal."
She gives me so much comfort in this situation I can't do anything but tell her exactly how I feel.
"I'm definitely not straight, but I'm not gay either. Not all the way. I'm somewhere in between. I see leaves, but I also see flowers... I see the whole forest... But all I want is to be with you. Just you. I want to kiss you, I want to hold you, I want to love you!"
I lean in and our tongues meet in a tender but oh so passionate kiss that I feel I'm going to melt away right here and now. Erica entwines our fingers as she pulls back. Letting our foreheads rest together, she whispers "I don't care what you are, Cal, all I care about is that we are together.", her blue eyes sparkling in affection.
She leans back on the couch, tugging at my top softly so that I follow her, eventually resting my head on her chest.
"I can hear your heart beating!", I smile.
"It beats solely for you", she says as she pushes a streak of hair behind my ear. I close my eyes to concentrate on her heartbeat.
Summary: After Erica sees leaves, Callie doesn't leave...
This is my first Callica fic, from Callie's point of view. Enjoy and let me know what you think!
I wanna thank superfy_me for betaing this and encouraging me. You're the best!
Also, a big shoutout to thecon12 for all the inspiration!
Part One
I let out a completely satisfied laugh as I roll off of Erica and give her a sweet short kiss.
"That was amazing!", she chuckles.
"Yay!", I smile at her as I clench my fists in celebration of the most amazing morning-after sex I've ever had with anyone, "It was for me, too."
She presses her body even closer to mine, and looks at me in the most loving way, "I mean, that was amazing!", she repeats. "Me too", I assure her, returning her loving look as I get up to grab my clothes from the chair I discarded them on when we "transferred" from the bunk in the on-call room to her king size bed last night.
Erica pushes herself up on her elbows, sitting up she says: "My whole life…. my whole adult life I have been with men…. and it always felt, you know… fine… good… but I never..." she laughs, "I mean I did but not… not like this… this is like needing glasses."
I looked at her with an amused smile on my lips, "I've blinded you?", I ask jokingly.
"No…when I was a kid, I would get these headaches, and I went to the doctor and they said that I needed glasses; I didn't understand that, it didn't make sense to me because I could see fine and then I get the glasses and I put them on and I'm in the car on the way home and suddenly I yell…", her voice breaks as her eyes start to water, but she continues "Because the big green blobs that I had been staring at my whole life… they weren't big green blobs, they were leaves; on trees… I could see the leaves… and I didn't even know I was missing the leaves, I didn't even know leaves existed and then leaves…!"
I'm not sure I understand what she's saying, but I don't even have to ask, she sees the question mark on my face and explains, "You are glasses… I am so gay, I am so, so, so gay, I am extremely gay!"
Oh. My. God.
She did not just say that! I feel panic rising from my gut. "I... have to go", I stammer and turn to the door to leave.
"Callie!" - her voice holds me back - "Dammit, you're doing it again" she says, sobbing.
"Doing what?", I ask as I turn to face her.
"You're running. Again. Every time you can't deal with something, you run. Next thing you know, you'll be screwing Sloan again. That's what you did last time."
She's right. She's so right. This is what I do when I feel trapped and I can't deal with something. I run. And I sleep with Mark. But not this time. I turn to look at her as tears start running down her cheeks.
"Don't cry, babe", I hurry back to her bed, sit on the edge and give her a comforting hug, "it's gonna be alright."
She buries her face in my shoulder, sobbing even louder, as I massage the back of her head, trying to calm her.
"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere.", I assure her. I am only now realizing what just happened.
Erica just came out. She just jumped out of the closet.
She lifts her head and I kiss her eyes, tasting her salty tears.
"You're not going to run?", she asks, her voice still shaking. "No", I reply, "I'm going to stay right here with you".
Giving her a soft kiss, I crawl back under the navy duvet and cuddle up against her. She immediately wraps her arms around me, pulling me closer.
"Callie", she whispers, "I love you".
"I love you, too, Erica", I respond as I nuzzle my cheek against hers. We lay in silence for about half an hour, savoring each other's scent, finding comfort in each other's arms. I almost fall asleep again, but her voice gets me back into a fully conscious state, "I need coffee", she says.
"I'll make you breakfast, babe", I offer, "Pancakes and fruit?". She simply nods and then buries her face in the pillow, "With lots of syrup!", she mumbles. "Of course", I chuckle, "I always knew you were the sweetest!", I can almost feel the smile spreading across her face.
I put on the robe that hangs on the back of the door and walk into the kitchen. I know my way around her apartment pretty well from all our cooking sessions, so I quickly get out a pan, a midsize bowl and the ingredients for my grandmother's moist buttermilk pancakes; then I go turn on the coffee machine.
When I finish the stack of pancakes, I put two plates and two mugs filled with steaming coffee on a tray and carry it back into the bedroom. Erica is sitting on the edge drying her hair with a towel, the scent of her shampoo filling the room.
"Oh, great, I'm starving!", she says as she takes the tray and carefully places it in the middle of the mattress. I crawl back underneath the covers and put two pancakes on each plate, top them with freshly cut fruit and make sure I put some extra syrup on hers.
"There ya go, sweety", I say as I hand her her plate. "It looks so yummy" she says and takes a first bite. "Oh my god, Cal, these are amazing!" - "You are amazing!", I retort.
Erica lets out a chuckled and smiles at me as she takes my hand and entwines our fingers. We eat in silence, constantly shooting looks at each other and laughing whenever one of us glances just a little too long.
When we have both finished, I take the tray back into the kitchen; Erica follows me and falls down onto the couch in her living room. I put the plates into the dishwasher and then walk over into the living room to join her. After I've made myself comfortable on the couch she leans in and gives me a delicate kiss.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened this morning?", I ask. "Yes, I think we should talk about it before you run again.", she teases.
"Erica, I won't run, I promise", I assure her and cross my middle over my index finger as I shuffle closer to her, putting my arms around her waist, to show her I’m not going anywhere, "We'll talk until we're all talked.", I smile at her.
"Listen, I know I scared the crap out of you..." Erica begins - "Well that's the understatement of the year", I tease - she sighs and continues, "But last night really opened my eyes. It was the biggest revelation of my life... I never cried like that before. Ever. But I know what I've been missing now, and I can assure you, I am never ever going to have sex with a man again."
The determined look in her blue eyes tells me that she is sure about this, really sure. "So I'm sorry I scared you, I really am.", she says softly.
I look her deep into the eyes, "Don't apologize", I tell her, "I'm glad you told me." She sighs in relief as she kisses my cheek. Then she takes both my hands and looks at me, her eyes filled with compassion.
"Now, I don't know how you feel about this, but I want you to know, that whatever you figure out for yourself, it's going to be okay. We said we would be scared together, and now that I'm not scared anymore, I will be there for you until you're not scared anymore either.", she says, her voice calm and comforting, "Tell me how you feel, Cal."
She gives me so much comfort in this situation I can't do anything but tell her exactly how I feel.
"I'm definitely not straight, but I'm not gay either. Not all the way. I'm somewhere in between. I see leaves, but I also see flowers... I see the whole forest... But all I want is to be with you. Just you. I want to kiss you, I want to hold you, I want to love you!"
I lean in and our tongues meet in a tender but oh so passionate kiss that I feel I'm going to melt away right here and now. Erica entwines our fingers as she pulls back. Letting our foreheads rest together, she whispers "I don't care what you are, Cal, all I care about is that we are together.", her blue eyes sparkling in affection.
She leans back on the couch, tugging at my top softly so that I follow her, eventually resting my head on her chest.
"I can hear your heart beating!", I smile.
"It beats solely for you", she says as she pushes a streak of hair behind my ear. I close my eyes to concentrate on her heartbeat.