(no subject)
Alright well life has been sort of crazy since the last time I posted. I don't want to go into extreme detail over the past 4 months, it would take a ridiculously long time.
I spent 2 months doing nothing. I played dungeons and dragons and watched a lot of movies. I had no money and mostly wasted my days loafing around my room. I have no idea what I did anymore, which is sort of unfortunate. Oh well! I hung out with my friends a lot so that's fine I guess.
I was feeling all down about myself for the longest time and stuff. I finally started seeing a counselor. She really helped my self esteem building, my self defeating thoughts, and my all around depression. She helped me cope with interpersonal relationships and that sort of thing. Dealing with conflicts between myself and friends.
My biggest problems were fear of the future, lack of confidence. I was too scared to apply for jobs or do new things. Scared of failure and that sort of thing. I was spending my days doing nothing as I said, and she worked me through ways to sort of get myself motivated to do things for myself. I guess I wasn't doing it because I didn't consider myself that important.
Annnnd what other depressing crap have I sort of managed to boot. Mostly the confidence thing I guess. I feel really good about myself and how I look and who I am since the counselor. I'm more comfortable with my person. I don't care what other people think of me anymore. I still have a hard time comparing myself to other people, but it's easier to sort of come back from it now and feel better about myself right away.
Anywho, I'm generally just way happier now and I haven't needed to see my counselor lately. Knowing all my problems is half the battle, and being consciously aware of them. I notice when I'm thinking negatively now, and I can stop myself from doing it. I have managed to change my mental habits, which was pretty hard to do but I feel like I've finally gotten there.
I finally got a job. I was pretty apprehensive to start there and nervous. I got the job the day I applied for it even though they told me at first they wouldn't know for a week which made me feel pretty awesome. It means I pwned all the other people applying for the job.
Anyways so everyone there ignores me and the job is pretty ridiculous sometimes, I just make books all day. Anyways that's pretty sweet that I have a job and stuff.
Clearly the most important part of this journal entry is that hanaurimusume came to visit for a week during his crazy-go-nuts trip across Canada. Unfortunately a douchebag in Vancouver took all of his stuff so it was off to a bit of a sad start, but we had an awesome time. We went to the zoo, the stampede, played copious amounts of DDR, Dungeons and Dragons, and Turtles in Time. Yup. We also watched nature shows and THE HOUSE BUNNY. Which is obviously one of the funniest terrible movies ever because I die every time I watch it.
Also uh. So I also sort of ended up really liking him. And we may or may not now be dating. And by may or may not I mean we are. And I am kind of really ridiculously excited about it. I am kind of really nervous to talk about it, because it's all still new and stuffff, so I'll just leave it at the fact that I am really happy and I feel good and life is awesome.
It's nice to have a positive post and a positive person in my life and everything is just awesome. It is super nice to have someone to talk to and who cares about all my nerdy endeavors. And shares all my interests. And yeah. I'm a happy bear. That is all.
P.S. - I am playing Call of Cthulhu as a southern investigator who is working on cracking a drug case. It's proving to be rather difficult as all of my party members may or may not be retarded, so this investigation is leading NOWHEREEEE. My character is scared to sleep because he witnessed people die from holes in their chests in the middle of the night. Yup. I am also wearing my Cthulhu shirt. It has an HP Lovecract quote on the back.
I spent 2 months doing nothing. I played dungeons and dragons and watched a lot of movies. I had no money and mostly wasted my days loafing around my room. I have no idea what I did anymore, which is sort of unfortunate. Oh well! I hung out with my friends a lot so that's fine I guess.
I was feeling all down about myself for the longest time and stuff. I finally started seeing a counselor. She really helped my self esteem building, my self defeating thoughts, and my all around depression. She helped me cope with interpersonal relationships and that sort of thing. Dealing with conflicts between myself and friends.
My biggest problems were fear of the future, lack of confidence. I was too scared to apply for jobs or do new things. Scared of failure and that sort of thing. I was spending my days doing nothing as I said, and she worked me through ways to sort of get myself motivated to do things for myself. I guess I wasn't doing it because I didn't consider myself that important.
Annnnd what other depressing crap have I sort of managed to boot. Mostly the confidence thing I guess. I feel really good about myself and how I look and who I am since the counselor. I'm more comfortable with my person. I don't care what other people think of me anymore. I still have a hard time comparing myself to other people, but it's easier to sort of come back from it now and feel better about myself right away.
Anywho, I'm generally just way happier now and I haven't needed to see my counselor lately. Knowing all my problems is half the battle, and being consciously aware of them. I notice when I'm thinking negatively now, and I can stop myself from doing it. I have managed to change my mental habits, which was pretty hard to do but I feel like I've finally gotten there.
I finally got a job. I was pretty apprehensive to start there and nervous. I got the job the day I applied for it even though they told me at first they wouldn't know for a week which made me feel pretty awesome. It means I pwned all the other people applying for the job.
Anyways so everyone there ignores me and the job is pretty ridiculous sometimes, I just make books all day. Anyways that's pretty sweet that I have a job and stuff.
Clearly the most important part of this journal entry is that hanaurimusume came to visit for a week during his crazy-go-nuts trip across Canada. Unfortunately a douchebag in Vancouver took all of his stuff so it was off to a bit of a sad start, but we had an awesome time. We went to the zoo, the stampede, played copious amounts of DDR, Dungeons and Dragons, and Turtles in Time. Yup. We also watched nature shows and THE HOUSE BUNNY. Which is obviously one of the funniest terrible movies ever because I die every time I watch it.
Also uh. So I also sort of ended up really liking him. And we may or may not now be dating. And by may or may not I mean we are. And I am kind of really ridiculously excited about it. I am kind of really nervous to talk about it, because it's all still new and stuffff, so I'll just leave it at the fact that I am really happy and I feel good and life is awesome.
It's nice to have a positive post and a positive person in my life and everything is just awesome. It is super nice to have someone to talk to and who cares about all my nerdy endeavors. And shares all my interests. And yeah. I'm a happy bear. That is all.
P.S. - I am playing Call of Cthulhu as a southern investigator who is working on cracking a drug case. It's proving to be rather difficult as all of my party members may or may not be retarded, so this investigation is leading NOWHEREEEE. My character is scared to sleep because he witnessed people die from holes in their chests in the middle of the night. Yup. I am also wearing my Cthulhu shirt. It has an HP Lovecract quote on the back.