8 - upwards to infinity
Welcome to our eighth prompt post.
As ususal, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1) All fills for prompts of the earlier prompt posts go in the post the prompt was posted in. No re-posting or splitting up prompts and fills.
2) Self-prompt when you post unprompted fic. (This means posting what the fill is about in a first comment, like a real ( Read more... )
As ususal, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1) All fills for prompts of the earlier prompt posts go in the post the prompt was posted in. No re-posting or splitting up prompts and fills.
2) Self-prompt when you post unprompted fic. (This means posting what the fill is about in a first comment, like a real ( Read more... )
Alan watches Ed try and try, and try harder still, and it gives him a lump in his throat to see how, to Ed, nothing he ever does is good enough. Ed pushes his hand through his hair, and rubs at his tired eyes, and his voice is scratchy when they put the finishing touches to the business policy statement, saying,
“My dad would be so ashamed of me.”
He’s tried to put distance between them, the same as with David, lest it look suspicious - lest they realise. But hearing that from Ed, the despair in his tone, well, he can’t help himself, and all his defences come down.
“He’d be so very very proud of you, Ed. I know it.”
Ed smiles at him, weakly, and Alan allows himself to pat his shoulder, and wishes Ed could know how very much he means it. In other, significant, ways he hopes, more than anything, that Ed never finds out, nor David.
He hadn’t meant for it to happen the way it did. He hadn’t meant for it to happen at all. It was just that Marion had been so very easy to talk to, and Ralph had been so very busy, as a lecturer at the university.
She hadn’t told him, not until they were about to move away to Leeds, and he had never blamed her. It could never have been anything other than what it was, but she made him a promise, and kept it, and every year he got a photo of the boys, and a letter full of everything they had been doing.
He’d have done things differently though, had he had the opportunity, and being cramped together in their shared office he tries to make up for it, lavishes Ed with praise, and goes for drinks with David where he encourages him not to be bitter.
“I don’t why it bothers me so,” David says one day, after Alan’s just spent an hour practicing at a makeshift dispatch box with Ed, to bolster his confidence. “Growing up, Ed was always the favourite.”
There’s a swamp of insecurity hidden behind David’s too light tone, and Alan touches a hand to his arm, thinking he can give him this, at least, and says,
“Trust me on this; your father loved you both equally.”
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