The mighty 4!
My honourable friends,
our fourth prompt post!
That's right, number FOUR.
Like the nucleobases, the fundamental forces of physics and the horsemen of the apocalypse.
Like the number of seasons, the number of letters in most swear words and the number of boxes each tetris shape is made of.
In this spirit, here are four things to keep in mind:
1) The ( Read more... )
our fourth prompt post!
That's right, number FOUR.
Like the nucleobases, the fundamental forces of physics and the horsemen of the apocalypse.
Like the number of seasons, the number of letters in most swear words and the number of boxes each tetris shape is made of.
In this spirit, here are four things to keep in mind:
1) The ( Read more... )
David knew he shouldn't. This was Nick Clegg's private diary and surely he couldn't read it. Just he didn't care he needed to know was Clegg was thinking. He couldn't stand not knowing what was going on and not knowing how to put it right. What was happening in the Lib Dem's mind. He convinced himself that he couldn't just stand back and see the coalition fall apart. An mischievous smile crossed his face, this was meant to be open and honest politics after all. The smile soon went as an image of the sometimes tortured looking DPM sitting opposite in cabinet. David wanted more than ever to help and he convinced himself that the diary held the key. He picked up the journal, closed the door and sat in Nick's seat and began to read.
The Tory didn't know where to start, he didn't want to read all the way through, because he'd be here all night. He thought back when had Cleggy start to seem rather distant. He came to the conclusion it was about two weeks ago after a rather heated PMQs. David giggled to himself. He was surprised he didn't break the bloody dispatch box the way he was thudding it. He leafed through the diary pages and scanned through a few. The early ones usually consisted of calling all Tories twats and of calling Osbourne a wanker. Usual Clegg/Lib Dem thing. He found the date of the PMQs the entry was written in the evening. David knew this is where the troubles began.
Wednesday 3rd of November
Oh fuck. What a mess I have landed myself in. How I will dig myself out of this hole I do not know. I went into PMQs as usual to hear David spout his usual rhetoric and to hear him nearly break the dispatch box with his relentless thudding again. Nothing was different. I was squashed up against my cabinet colleagues and I had no where else to look apart from david's arse or the revolting labour front bencher who sat opposite me as usual. I found myself thinking of Miriam and the argument we had had the night before. Then I looked up at David and I began to listen to the inspirational speech he was coming out with. Probably a load of shit but hey it sounded good. He sat down after he was done and turned to talk to Osbourne. I gave him the usual pat on the shoulder and he swiveled round like a dart and whispered in my ear " If that doesnt bugger them nothing will". He gave me a pat on the shoulder and began to listen intentavly to the next dimwitted question from a labour back bencher. I found all I could do was to stare at Davids face and I just couldn't stop. He seemed so perfect.
So anyway David gets up to answer the question and again he's thudding the living day lights out of the dispatch box. Thudding, endless thudding. I sat back and i just listend to him argue his case so brilliantly and the thud of the dispatch box and then --oh dear god-- I just wanted to jump up and just fucking kiss him. David just seemed so perfect up there. At the end of PMQs he pulls me over for a little chat. I couldnt even pay attention! I was just consumed in those eyes and i just found myself starting to lean forward. Luckily I stop myself, make some dumbass excuse and scarper. I am fucked!! I cant even work with The Tory with out wanting to jump on him. How I can ever face him I do not know.
David sat there. Astonished. He read the next few entries. All of them full of Nicks embarrassment, angst and self loathing. David felt pity well up inside him for his tortured DPM. Nick seemed so sure of himself but as David read on he found the Nick who was vulnerable, even suicidal. The PM just sat there for a while mulling over what was in the diary. He found a tear come to his eye. The bloody cocky Lib Dem was now the upset, self tortured human being. David got up. Whatever help Nick needed he would get. David was just about to put the Diary down when the office door opened and Nick walked in. David swivelled round, the diary was still in his hand. Oh fuck, David thought, I just got caught.
"What the fuck are you doing hear!" Nick Demanded.
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"Erm... I just popped by hoping you were in." Cameron lied
"Ever heard of fucking knocking. Just because your PM doesn't mean you can just barge into my bloody office! Anyway what's in your hand?" David just stood there powerless, his deputy was fuming and no way was he going to admit to him that it was his diary.
"Oh... erm yeah ... well it was a book Samantha gave me to read." David hoped that would be enough, hopefully Nick wouldn't ask anymore questions. Nick looked at him suspiciously but then shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
"Well .. erm .. I better be off." Nick suddenly tensed up. The rage had been replaced by the awkwardness of the past weeks.
"Yeah well see you tomorow then." With that Clegg left leaving David standing in the middle of the DPM's office, holding the diary.
--
He knew he would have to talk to Nick sometime and to admit to reading his diary. 'David you idiot! Why did you have to be a nosey twat and read Nicks bloody diary' Those and other thoughts wurled around the Prime Ministers head. So much did these thoughts consumed his attention that he barely noticed a knock on the door. Momentarily brought back from his trance he registered the knock.
"Come in" There's a moment of hesitance but the door opens and the ever more pale looking Nick came over the threshold, but only barely.
"Sorry I'm late..... I erm... slept in." The lie atleast to Nick was obvious surely Cameron picked up on it. He couldn't keep on doing this, ignoring his feeling and keeping it all bottled up inside of him hoping it would go away. He was meant to be a proper politician and be focussed on what was best for the country not how attractive his Prime Minister was. Maybe he would have to do the unthinkable. Resign.
"No problem." David knew Nick was avoiding him, just now he knew why, but that issue would to wait. He needed to go over with Nick a few documents and the PM just hoped that maybe Nick would start to ease off. But that seemed about as likely as pigs enslaving human kind.
"Right then.. I better get to my office." Nick turned around and had nearly left before David had jumped to his feat and went and gripped Nicks arm gently to get him to stay. To David's shock and horror Nick let out a little cry of pain.
"What the hells wrong with you?" David said as he guided Nick back into the room and shut the door behind him.
"Nothing now will you PLEASE let go of that FUCKING ARM!" Nick shouted through gritted teeth.
"Bollucks my friend." He rolled up the cuff of Nick's jacket and shirt to reveal as much of the arm as he could. He found the source of the pain although he wished he hadn't. There were a succession of deep, red cuts on most of Nicks wrist. " Dear god! Nick what have you been doing to yourself! Take off you jacket and let me see what you've done!" David demanded.
Nick did as he was told. He took his jacket off. David sat his friend down and undid his cuflinks. The Liberal looked close to screaming as David gently rolled up his sleeve, revealing the full horror of what the self tormented politician had done to himself. His arm glowed red with all the Cuts and scratches there were.
"Nicky, you didn't have to do this." David, Prime Minister was now sitting there trying to counsel his collegue, his deputy and his friend.
"How would you know! You have no idea!" Nick cried. He was close to hysterics. He had always prided himself on being made of strong stuff and now he was crying his eyes out infront of his boss.
"Nick I do know" David got up and retrieved the diary from his desk and placed it in his friends hands. Shock covered the Lib Dems face "I have known since yesterday, well since you found me in your office. I'm sorry Nick but I knew something was up and so I read the diary. I needed to know."
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Nick just sat there holding the diary, registering that David knew his secret. David was knelt on the floor beside him monitoring every expression on his friends face. The office remained earily silence until Nick, finaly losing all control, sunk his head into his hand and started violently crying.
"ssh ssh Nick, Nick. It's ok I'm here for you." David stood up and took Nick's head and held it to his chest, trying desperatly to comfort his partner.
"God you must think I'm a bloody fool!" Nick wailed as David started stroking his hair gently. David could'nt help but wonder that if only the man who he was comforting knew about what he himself had been feeling right back since the very first debate. Just for him it was a lot easier to hide because to him even working with Nick was a blessing.
"I'm sorry David I just can't help it. I am just so pathetic!" Nick continued to wail. Even now a tear had sprung to Nick's comforter. As Nick poured his heart out to David, the Tory couldn't help thinking if he had known sooner this could all this could of been different. Then a revelation hit David smartly on the face. Things still could be different.
"Nicky" David said, interupting his coalition partners out pouring and tipping Nicky's head up so he could see those beuatiful grey eyes. He allowed the feeling he had for the usually cocky, confident and terribly annoying Lib Dem rise up in his once again. "Listen Nicky there's something I should of told you long ago but I was too afraid." David drew in a deep breath. He didn't know how to put it into words and then he looked down at Nick's face and the answer became clear.
He pulled Nicky's face to his and gently let his lips meat that of his coalition comrade. He let Nick's tongue enter his mouth and he did the same to Nick. He didn't care that he was meant to be looking after the county, he didnt care that this was his deputy and he didn't care that the man he was kissing was a liberal. They pulled away from each other and stared into each others eyes.
"Nick I loved you way before the coalition. Right back since the 1st debate. I was too scared too act because I didn't think you felt the same way. And -- oh god Nicky -- I truly am sorry I did this to you"
"I don't care anymore. I have you now thats all that matters." He pulled david down for another kiss this time much more passionate. He brings his hand down and starts to undo Camerons blue tie.
"Nicky I can't right now I have to go and meet the Queen" David said Breaking the kiss. "But if you swing by the office after my secretary Jessica has gone home am sure we'll be able to thrash out this pressing issue"
Nick smiled and David trying to be proffesional about it. "Yes of course Prime Minister but I must ask the honourable member if I will be allowed to rip that god awful tory blue tie straight off of him?"
David chortled. "Yes you may Deputy Prime Minister as long as i can rip that awful Liberal yellow tie off of you aswell."
Nick just nods in agreement dries his eyes and whispers into Davids ear "You waited 6 months for that kiss you must have the patience of a saint and oh by the way Osbourne is still a wanker." He leaves leaving David with a ridiculously large smile on his face.
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Nick sat at his desk waiting for the phone to ring. Every moment was agony to him. Ever since that kiss and the arrangement to meet up Nick couldn't stop thinking of Cameron. He even wrote the Tory's name instead of Sarkozy's on a document. How could he, the level headed liberal have fallen so far in love with a tory. No. Not even a Tory. A Tory that had been to OXFORD! Just Nick knew he had and oh how he had fallen hard for David's eyes, conviction and compassion. Just now he knew David felt the same way. David loved him. His quite calm was interupted by the much anticipated phone call.
"Hello. This is the Deputy Prime Minister speaking" Nick trying to sound professional as humanly possible.
"Nick relax its David. Right Jessica has left and I heard your secretary leave as well. Leaving us the only one in this part of the building. So I propose you pop over and talk about that pressing issue that we were discussing earlier." Nick smiled. He just love how calm the PM sounded.
"Of Course Prime Minister." Clegg put the phone down, straightened his yellow tie and put on his grey jacket. He had to look good for the head of the government. He made his way down the corridor towards the PM's office. He reaches the door and knocks lightly.
"Come in." Davids authoritive voice answered and Nick enters the office."
"Nick I'm so glad you came please have a seat." David said gesturing to one of the chairs and locking the door. He couldn't contain himself anymore. He wanted Clegg, he needed Clegg. This wasn't a case of a quicky in his office. He loved Nick and had done for what seemed to him like an eternity. Now he had what he wanted.
Nick was worried, David had paused for a moment deep in thought. Nick got up and went to his friend and offered a comforting hand on David's shoulder "David are you ok?"
"Just thinking about how long I loved and about all the shit I've caused you" David turned around to see his friend."Nick I really do love you and that I think your perfect in every way."
Nick just looked at David. It felt to him as though the world was complete. He put his hand on davids neck and pulled him in for a very passionate kiss.
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They broke apart from the kiss, both trying to regain breath. David knew what they both wanted at that point and David was eager. The usualy patient politician now went and virtualy tore off his lovers tie, nearly ripped off the jacket and quickly removed the shirt. The man he had longed for since the debates was now topless in front of him. David grabbed Nick's neck and brought him in for a hot steamy kiss. It felt so messy and dirty but some how so perfect. The Prime Minister now started to kiss his coalition partner now turned lover's neck.
For Nick it was heaven. The feel of the soft lips on his neck sent the blood rushing south. He ran his finger through David's hair, cherishing every sensation. However it made getting Cameron's tie off even harder but some how Nick had managed to remove the conservative blue tie from around camerons neck along with his shirt. He could feel the kisses on his body get lower and lower until they were just above where his trousers were. Soon his trousers weren't there any more. The Tory could move fast, very fast.
"I'm getting the feeling you've done this before" Nick laughed even though his voice was beginning to become strained because all the blood was rushing downward to feed his hard on as David started stroking his cock.
David looked up and saw Nick's head tilted back, deciding that this was the right time, he wrapped his mouth around Nick's raging hard on. He could feel it becoming even more stiff, this feeling was doing nothing stop the rampage of his own erection. He could see the man he loves' mouth open and a moan of pleasure escape.
"Oh my fucking god David! Yes!" Nick loved it, he just loved the feeling but then all of a sudden David got up.
"Listen Nicky I want you in me NOW!" David demanded, his hard on needed to be relieved.
"But we dont have a condom or any lube."
"I dont care I have waited 6 months for this and I won't wait a minuter longer." He saw Nick's loving smile come across his face. Nick grabbed David's trousers and yanked them down along with his boxers. Once the lover had bounced back up the other man grabbed his neck and started kissing very very messily. The conservative was now up against the desk. seeing his opportunity Nick turned him around on the spot to face away from him. In an act of blatant teasing by the LibDem he place one finger up Cameron's entrance and then slowly went to two then three. Every moment David's arousal was heightened. Even to the point it hurt.
"Nick anymore teasing and I will chuck you out of the window. Get inside me know that is an order!" David said panting. Nick, doing as he was told slid into David. David's head flew back and a moan of pleasure escaped. Nick now started to move in and out, slowly at first but began to pick up the pace much to Camerons pleasure. "Yes Nicky Yes!" he said as Nick started stroking David's hard on. Soon they were both reaching their dizzying heights and Nick was coming out with every swear word in every language he knew.
"David.. I aint gonna be able to hold out much longer" The younger man said struggling to speak.
"Neither am I Nicky... Oh god I am going to come!" With that and one final thud into David's body did they both reached their climax. Nick seemed to even lose the strength to stand up and nearly collapsed on top of the taller man. They both sat down on the carpet and rested against the desk. Both trying to regain breath. Both never had experienced anything as intense as that.
"God, David that was amazing" Nick said after finaly regaining usual breathing patterns.
"I know. God Nick why did we wait?"
"God knows." Nick laughed and then pulled Cameron in for a kiss. Both of them enjoyed their own private joke about what would happen if the papers knew. Nick layed his head onto David's shoulder. The Tory looked down to his liberal lover, kissed him on the forehead and wrapped one arm around the younger man. For both that was a night to remember.
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A bit of constructive criticism, if you don't mind (I hope you don't and I apologise most profusely if you do). I think it was insatiable_nick (correct me if I'm wrong) who suggested using the services of a beta. I second this. Betas are a wonderful thing and they're here to help. Your story would benefit from a bit of help fixing typos, tenses (which sometimes go from past to present to past again in the same sentence, for no apparent reason) and punctuation. George's name, for example, is spelt Osborne and not Osbourne. It's also should have and not should of. They're all details but a text that flows well enhances the reading experience and getting more readers is one of the main reasons us writers do it, isn't it? (:
Please do not take this the wrong way, it's only friendly concrit and I really hope you post more.
Any reason why Nick refers to David in his mind as The Tory? He's obviously the PM but I can think of a few much more right-wing in his party. Curious!anon is curious indeed.
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and sorry for the fic being so crummy I have got to say this is my firt time writing this sort of thing and I so FAIL at it lol so soz i should of left this fill to some one who can write
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Firstly, every one of us started somewhere and has improved with practice. There will always be a small group of people with a really exceptional talent for writing, but even they were never the finished article overnight.
Never feel bad for posting your work. The more you write and receive constructive criticism the better you'll get. I think you have good plotting ability, but I agree that you're being held back by typos and grammar issues. Betas are a wonderful way to deal with these, and if you find someone who will take the time to explain the necessary changes rather than simply making them for you you can start to identify your strengths and weaknesses. At the moment we don't have a beta community, perhaps I should start one.
Another important thing to do is to read a lot. Read other author's work, read a variety of books and articles, read things from different genres, and read your own work out loud. Notice the way sentences flow, and where you instinctively pause when speaking your words. This can help with punctuation.
When it comes to fanfic, there are a lot of cliches and tropes, most of which do not need to be followed, but some do. Lubrication really is a must; you don't necessarily need to follow the standard One finger, Two fingers, Three fingers, Fuck model, but you do need lube. If you're interested in the intricacies of m/m sex some people find this NSFW guide useful: http://www.squidge.org/minotaur/classic/eroc.html it's written by a gay male slash fan. Not everyone agrees with everything he says, but it is useful. It's also EXCEEDINGLY NSFW and contains graphic photographs. You have been warned.
In short, you're making a promising start as an author. I hope you'll take our comments in the way they're intended i.e. as friendly and constructive critiques.
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There's no need to apologise and I certainly didn't mean for you to think you should have left the prompt for someone else to fill. Absolutely not! Not that someone else can't submit a fill for it too, the more the better. *is greedy*
Practice is key in improving our writing skills. The whole practice makes perfect saying exists for a reason. So, write any chance you have, whatever the topic.
I also second everything the other hon. anon has said. Read everything and anything that you may find of interest. Reading other authors, including fellow fanfic writers, will give you a better grasp of genres and styles and, yes, clichés too. It may help you identify what your own style is, if you have one.
Reading your own work out loud is a very good suggestion because you'll see immediately how a sentence flows, where the pauses are, etc. It'll help with punctuation.
Also thirding (fourthing?) the importance of lube. If your characters don't have the proper stuff handy, be careful what you make them opt for (nothing that isn't properly smooth, nothing that stings, sticks or hardens - puns not intended).
Remember one thing: we all want more fics to read. This means we all want more writers so we want you to stick around and keep writing. If we didn't, we wouldn't be suggesting helpful tips. Keep at it! (:
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You. Need. Lube. That part made me wince. Lube is not a non-option. There's very little that actually stops me reading a fic, but after three years working in a sexual health clinic, yeah, lack of lube will do that. Ouch.
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5 Years Later....
Election 2015 was perhaps the most surprising yet. As Nick stood on the doorstep of number ten after having just been to the palace, the true gravity of it all finaly sunk in. He was Prime Minister. No one had expected him to win, not after he had divorced his wife and caused an outrage. He was the first official gay man to be Prime Minister, although he reckoned from what he had heard about his predecessors number ten was used to having people of his orientation around. What was infinitely worse that the man he had married was his old boss and a tory. David wasn't standing there on the doorstep that day, the two had reckoned that it would be a shock to the system seeing the old prime minister go into number ten as the new prime minister's husband.
The famous black door swung open and Nick stepped inside with the flash of the cameras behind him. The door was only just shut when David immediately had Nick on his arm, hugging the life out of him. The civil servants just smiled, by now the were used to seeing the two men hugging. A few however had been unfortunate to have walked in when a few kisses had turned into something else entirely. Most got over it, a few however were scarred for life. "We'll just leave you two to it, try not to be too long you do have a a cabinet to appoint Mr Clegg." One of the civil servants said as he left the room soon followed by his collegues. Leaving Nick and David alone in the hallowed halls of Downing street.
"This is going to be so weird." Nick said looking around before wrapping his arms around David's waist.
"Really, why." David asked sinking into Nick's embrace.
"Because I'm so used to you being in power. It's going to be weird me sitting were you used to sit. I just thank god you're no longer leader of the opposition otherwise PMQ's would be unbearable." Nick hated the election campaign. It had been so awkward campaigning against David's party even though he had stepped down as there leader.
"You'll get used to it plus I think you're better in a position of power." David smirked, hoping Nick caught on that his new found power would extend to ALL areas of his life.
"David you can turn anything into a flirt." Nick looked into David's eyes, yes he had power and a government but nothing really could match the person who was in his arms. The two walked into Nick's old office, fond memories rushing back. Their first time had been in this office, looking back now it was rather stupid of them to attempt it without the neccesary equipment. David's ass had stung for days making the endless meetings he had rather uncomofortable. Since then all other times were much more prepared and much more enjoyable.
Nick smiled at David. "This is where it all started." He said smiling remembering everything that had gone on.
David smirked back before he turned around and closed the door. "Care for round two?"
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Firstly, every one of us started somewhere and has improved with practice. There will always be a small group of people with a really exceptional talent for writing, but even they were never the finished article overnight."
Your writing has improved enormously since you began this fic. I always really enjoyed the plot, but now you're at the point where I'm beginning to notice your style of writing too. All I can say is that if you can make this much of an improvement in such a short time, you really should continue to write. I said that everyone starts somewhere, and I think you could become a popular author, you're characters are so likeable. ^_^
*realises I never set up that comm* *wanders off muttering* "I really should do that..."
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Thanks to everyone who commented because it really did help :D you guyz are the best and I'm really glad I discovered thus community because every one here is just epic :D
so thanks again lol
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