Generel Squee Post

[lolitics_meme]

It has been suggested to seperate the prompts from random squeeing.

Hence this post:

Here is the place to squee about the latest news, some article you found, some interview you read or just about the way someone has his hair today or which tie they wear.

Squee away!

Comments

Re: Where Dreams Come True

[alhart]

There was a school trip up to the mountains and instead of taking the school jaguar bus, I mother fucking walked up that mountain and came to this big building. Went inside, walked around, up some elevators, and then I came to this office. The rest of the class wasn’t even there yet so I sat down outside this office.

I became bored so I went into the office, nabbed a pen and the newspaper with a half done sudoku and sat back down outside the office to do it. And then David bloody Cameron walks in, followed by my class, and they look at me like I’m some weirdo. But then Cameron pats my back like the patronising bastard he appears to be (or probably doesn’t realise he’s being patronising) but he’s genuinely all smiles and gives me a scholarship to some university. I look at him like, ‘DCam, do I look like one of your Tory bastards?’ Because, you know, I’m working my ass off towards finishing my degree and I didn’t get where I am by free passes.

I accepted anyways.

So I went to this university. The first seminar lecture was on a Monday and it was held by Nick bloody Clegg. I was like ‘WTF?!’ He was actually quite informative. Then, after the lecture, he began going around the room and asking us how he did and what he should improve on. I think by this time, almost everyone fled the room because they learnt he was a Lib Dem and for some reason nobody really takes Lib Dems seriously (I do know, but my dream self seems a bit slow compared to me) and didn’t want to help a Lib Dem.

I didn’t leave quick enough, so I gave my honest, straight forward opinion. Said he was good, that he had set out his points clearly and gave reasonable well rounded answers, but he should speak up a bit more and show a bit more confidence in his stance. He grins at me, nods, and says he’ll take the notes on board, that I’ve been helpful and then we depart on that easy going note.

I don’t know why but my stupid ass dream self began obsessing over him. Oh. My. GOD! I was getting really annoyed at myself but I couldn’t change a thing my dream self was doing: following Clegg around, seeing where he lived, making sure no bitches beat the shit out of him because he’s being a stupid useless puppet to the Tories. The obsession merely lasted a week because then I started dating my girlfriend.

But then I jumped on a plane, because it was about time I went back to Antarctica to save some bitches from falling into icy cold sea from failing ice climbing. And then, damn it, I came across Nick bloody Clegg.

He was seated alone, looking sad, minding his own business, and he just had to fucking look up when I was going past and our eyes met, and then he smiled at me so I politely smiled back. We exchanged greetings and he said he recognised me, remembering me from his lectures. And then I sat down next to him and we started talking about politics (like you do).

We began talking about the importance of secondary education and the measures that needed to be implemented, sharing good examples from Europe, bad examples, some exchange of statistics happened and then calculations, but then my big ass science teacher from high school comes in and frigging talks about statistics about Clegg’s standing in the public polls. And Clegg starts listening to him but Clegg looks worried, biting his lip. He looks distracted, his eyes staring vaguely through the window. And then the teacher began being verbally abusive and Clegg starts crying. The teacher starts laughing. Oh. My. God… What the fuck, man? I was going to verbally pound the shit out of the teacher but the teacher backs off before I could, and wanders away to the lav, leaving me to deal with this crying mess.

He wouldn’t stop crying and people were looking at me accusingly. I’m like ‘shit, shit, shit!’. So I gave him a awkward one arm hug and patted his back. He eventually stopped crying. It got a bit awkward. He then added me on facebook, I friended him. I didn’t leave his side though, in case any other bitchs came ripping Clegg’s confidence down again. After the plane landed, we said goodbyes, shared another smile, and then we went our own ways.

And then I woke up, wondering why I’m in a room I don’t recognise. Turned out to be my girlfriend’s new home and we threw a cheap house warming party. That’s cool.