Wild wild everything
I just cannot wait to start planning the party to celebrate this wonderful occasion! I'm thinking big. Not just big, but huge; maybe even-letting in people I don't like very much-huge. Theme? Rubber. or Clue. I'd like to save Clue for next halloween though; we do have the perfect house for it (if everyone can stop being a shitface by then). We'll be letting the parents throw us a party or bring us to dinner and then we'll be doing something crazy, i'm sure. I can't explain this amazing relief I'm feeling now, like all the bullshit i worry about every day suddenly just doesn't matter. It feels much easier to do the things i want to and need to do to get my life and myself to the status I desire. I'm not even compromising, not even being asked to really it just feels so natural. I'm actually making the right decisions without being coached or even worrying about it too much.
Many epic dreams last night. The first one was set in the neighborhood I grew up in with all my childhood friends around me and some bullies chasing me. I ran up a flight of stairs to find MK there watching a movie and listening to/creating music with friends. I looked out of the window to see many people I'm familiar with now just milling around in the street and one guy looking at me and shaking his fist. I pulled the curtains and fell into bed
In every other dream I had there was that girl. I was in school, in a stadium seating classroom and there she was a few seats down from me talking to one of my childhood best friends Tara. It loooked as if they were best friends and my heart hurt. I was riding my bicycle in the sun and there was no traffic to be seen until I saw this girl and cars from nowhere began beeping their horns at me. there were more intimate details that i have now forgotten. when i woke up i didn't want to tell MK about the dreams cos i find no reason to put her image in his head, ever. A lot of the dreams revolved around going to school; I guess I'm scared to go back there. Because, when i was there the first time, it was such an cold and hostile place to me. I could barely even get people I had known from highschool or whatever to give me the time of day.
Many epic dreams last night. The first one was set in the neighborhood I grew up in with all my childhood friends around me and some bullies chasing me. I ran up a flight of stairs to find MK there watching a movie and listening to/creating music with friends. I looked out of the window to see many people I'm familiar with now just milling around in the street and one guy looking at me and shaking his fist. I pulled the curtains and fell into bed
In every other dream I had there was that girl. I was in school, in a stadium seating classroom and there she was a few seats down from me talking to one of my childhood best friends Tara. It loooked as if they were best friends and my heart hurt. I was riding my bicycle in the sun and there was no traffic to be seen until I saw this girl and cars from nowhere began beeping their horns at me. there were more intimate details that i have now forgotten. when i woke up i didn't want to tell MK about the dreams cos i find no reason to put her image in his head, ever. A lot of the dreams revolved around going to school; I guess I'm scared to go back there. Because, when i was there the first time, it was such an cold and hostile place to me. I could barely even get people I had known from highschool or whatever to give me the time of day.