Sick of this Skin

[lolitadelusions]

i am fat again. 
im so disgusted i can hardly speak
who new that 20 pounds could sneak around back on me in 6 weeks

no pill to dull the thrill of life and love, and living just to be 
but without it now, i'm so afraid of what it's done to me...

thin theighs and burning eyes 
my wasted breathe, a pounding chest 
a loss of all myself 
was no self 
is no self at all

but who am i with weight?
sombody that i can't take
someone i hate...

i... cant seem to make it to a happy place-
i always fall...
i fall...
i fall...
i... fall...
i fall.

i used to smile used to laugh 
used to have a world of dreams 
had a list plans 
list of things that did not come to be 
i'm just an empty shell 
a shadow of who i used to be...

yes i was always sad
always mad 
always hated me 
but i had hope inside 
a dream that i- could be a better me

now there's just a hollow girl that i can't seem to face...

i... cant seem to make it to a happy place-
i always fall...
i fall...
i fall...
i... fall...
i fall.