Wait... WHAT?!
I hate money. I hate asking people for money, I hate how it throws me into anxiety attacks, I hate that it makes people stingy or rude, and I hate how the USD has drastically gone down in value. I had just paid off my credit card, and now it seems is racked up again. I bought a skirt, that should have been maybe $180ish. But because the USD is becoming lamer and lamer, it was $193 D:< FUCK. I already have $143ish on my card, and I made a $40 payment today, so $103ish, and then I'm making a $150ish purchase (which will probably end up being a $160ish purch.), so, yeah, racked up credit card AGAIN. I mean, I have the money to pay it off... but its also my money for tuition next quarter. I do have money coming in. $250 (hopefully) for this painting commission I'm doing next week and $75 (again, hopefully) for helping a friend out. So, if I can get that $325 by thursday, I should have a vast majority of that bill payed. Oh God. I hate this. I know everything will work out, it always does, but I gotta stop doing this to myself. I have to stop spending more than I'm earning (which is almost nil).
So, the fabric I bought last week came in. I might have to wait until after I pay off my cc some before I can buy the lace, interfacing, lining, tulle and zippers to make the skirt and dress. I've decided to sell the skirt for $66 shipped and the dress for $100 or best offer (won't got lower than $80, though). Of course, I will have to charge more for commission, so I hope the prices won't disillusion anyone.
I need a job. Like, now.
I bought the skirt bellow (the $193 one). Because lolita socks are a hot item, I had my shopping service girl pick up one or the other (won't know til tomorrow), and she's picking up the purse for me too. My tokidoki bag (which I LOVE) matches everything but my lolita garb, so, yeah.
So, you'll probably wondering what happend to me saving up for the Mely Chocolate collection. Well, I thought that the brown on the OP was plaid, but, it's a chocolate bar print. I still think it's cute but, not a 'OMG must have' anymore. I still want Sugary Carnival, but I'm not holding my breath.However, the design for Septembers AP release, very cute, may in fact be an 'OMG must have' :3
Yesterday my brother and I went out to dinner. It was really nice to spend time with him. We've haven't had time to hang out much, and I was feeling pretty down, so it was nice :3
Tomorrow I'm having breakfast with a friend from college, picking up my moviebox from Best Buy, seeing if my book is in stock in B&N and then stop by the place I'm trying to get a job and demand I get the number for the owners and call the slow bastards myself. All while dressed in my sailor jsk :P
Oh... Lee said he was going to watch my vlogs last night. That've been the first time he's ever seen me :O I was so nervous when he told me that. What if like, he thinks I'm a spaz or a weirdo, or something and suddenly doesn't like me anymore? And, he always calls me gorgeous (which I thought was weird since he's never seen pics of me), but what if he regrets saying that or never says that again? I know that if someone doesn't like you for you, they're no real friend, but... And he's half-a-world away, but... I have such a low self-esteem. I haven't talked to him because fo being up at my music teacher's, but, tomorrow... Ugh.
Well, I'm gonna be optimistc, even though it's hard. Things will work out :3
Photoshoot next Thursday! W00t!
~ Si-Si
PS: I've fallen out of step with God, so, I'm gonna be working on alot of soul searching and and epic devotional time. I really need Him right now. I think that's why I've been so epicly bummed lately. Not to mention my 'monthly visitor' is coming next week -_-;;