I need to stop this.
Only a few more days left until I'm back to Chicago. I'm looking forward to it because this means I can get my resolution on the go and have some time to myself again. Don't get me wrong, I love family time and I love Michigan... but the independence of living on your own is so much more...relaxing. A lot has been going on. A lot in my head, at least. There are a lot of things I need to do. I know I keep saying this, but this time..seriously. This year will be different. There are a lot of things I need to get myself over. Even though it's going to be a rough ride, I know I can do it because I've done it before. I just have to make sure to not have relapses this time around.
I'm trying really hard to calm myself at the moment. I'm raging inside, and it feels like the worst torture possible to not be able to say a word or cry a tear about it. I've been bottling everything up for years and years and years and it's doing nothing but wrecking me.
I miss my therapist. I talked to him a few times over break on the phone. We discussed the usuals. I feel like I need some sort of massive tranquilizers to get through all this, or something. Honestly, it's becoming so exhausting. I can't even breathe right anymore. I'm having more and more anxiety attacks lately. Stubborn migraines that won't go away for days. I've got a very short temper lately, too. I don't know. But something really needs to be done about all this, or I'm going to go mad. I need someone to get me out of this funk and distract me. I hate relying on other people, but I think this time it's what I truly need..except all I do is avoid everyone.
I'm trying really hard to calm myself at the moment. I'm raging inside, and it feels like the worst torture possible to not be able to say a word or cry a tear about it. I've been bottling everything up for years and years and years and it's doing nothing but wrecking me.
I miss my therapist. I talked to him a few times over break on the phone. We discussed the usuals. I feel like I need some sort of massive tranquilizers to get through all this, or something. Honestly, it's becoming so exhausting. I can't even breathe right anymore. I'm having more and more anxiety attacks lately. Stubborn migraines that won't go away for days. I've got a very short temper lately, too. I don't know. But something really needs to be done about all this, or I'm going to go mad. I need someone to get me out of this funk and distract me. I hate relying on other people, but I think this time it's what I truly need..except all I do is avoid everyone.