TOO. LATE. HEART. BREAK.
Me and Luke aren't really together right now.
I don't know what to do.
I'm trying hard to just... get over it for now.
I'm so confused.
I threw up.
I cry, and then I make myself pretend to be strong so I stop.
But then I just cry again.
I don't know if it's worth waiting for, or if I should just, let go. and move on?
Fuck. I fucking hate this feeling.
It just goes to show how fast life can change on you.
[EDIT] I can't sleep, so this is stolen from ruby:
(i don't feel like making a special name for that stupid fucking cut.)
SECTION 1------ABOUT YOURSELF...--------
+ Known as: Steph, Steph 10z, Steph-a-free, Steph-fanny.
+ Lives in: Montclurr.
+ Birthday: may 20th '89.
+ Age: 16
+ School: MHS
+ Hair color: brown
+ Eye color: brown
SECTION 2------HAVE YOU EVER???--------
+ Cheated on someone?: i could never.
+ Been Cheated on?: hopefully not.
+ Fallen off the bed?: probably.
+ Broken someones heart?: i'm sure.
+ Had your heart broken?: uhm. yes.
+ Had a dream come true?: currently, no.
+ Done something you regret?: they're beginning to be regretted.
+ Cheated on a test?: who hasn't?
SECTION 3-------CURRENTLY...----------
+ Wearing?: alex furst's old powerpuff pj's and a tank top.
+ Eating?: nothing. for a while.
+ Drinking?: nothing.
+ Thinking about?: don't make me cry. (sorry if that sounds terribly fucking emo).
+ Listening to?: Save Ferris.
+ Chatting with?: ergh. nobody.
+ Watching?: the screen?
+ Should REALLY be doing?: stop thinking about this stupid mess and get to fucking sleep.
SECTION 4-------DO YOU???-----------
+ Brush your teeth?: erm. why wouldnt i?
+ Like anybody?: shutup.
+ Have any piercings?: yes
+ Drink?: i have.
+ Drive?: i get scared.
+ Smoke?: ugh no.
SECTION 5---------THE LAST PERSON YOU...-----------
+ Hugged?: ..luke.
+ Kissed?: ....luke.
+ IMed?: Courtney's cell.
+ Talked on the phone with?: ...luke.
+ Yelled at?: I don't know.
+ Fell in love with?: :[ everyone knows.
+ Crushed on?: shutup.
SECTION 6-------PERSONAL...---------
+ What do you want to be when you grow up?: graphic designer.
+ What has been the best day of your life?: i don't know.
+ What comes first in your life?: uhm. as of right now, myself.
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: fuck you.
+ What are you most scared of?: i don't know.
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed?: that day. my worries/anxieties.
+ Did you lose someone you really loved?: today. yes.
+ How many times have you fallen deeply in love?: lskdjf;lk.
+ Love your family?: sure.
+ Love your friends?: yeah.
7-------FAVORITE...----------
+ Movie?: lilo&stitch. empire records. romeo&juliet.
+ Song?: erm. there's a lot.
+ Group/Singer?: a lot.
+ Store?: i duno.
+ Relative?: i dont know.
+ Sport?: eh. dont know.
+ Ice Cream Flavor?: chubby hubby. but thinking about it makes me wanna barf right now.
+ Fruit?: clementine? strawberries? blackberries.
+ Candy?: ::barf::
+ Holiday?: eh. cliche: christmas.
+ Day of the Week?: friday.
+ Time?: just. night.
+ Color?: pink and green. but i'm drifting from that a little bit.
+ Name for a Girl?: Aden. I duno.
+ Name for a Boy?: Fred. just kidding.
+ Quote?: Erm. how about a lot of song lyrics.
SECTION 8-------DO YOU???-------
+ Like to give hugs?: not right now.
+ Like to give kisses?: nope.
+ Like to walk in the rain?: as long as its warm and its not a thunderstorm.
+ Prefer black or blue pens? depends. usually black.
+ Like to travel?: only in a car or train.
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back?: tummy.
+ Think you're attractive?: ugh.
+ Have a goldfish?: i did but i think it killed itself.
+ Ever have the falling dream?: usually before i fall into a deep sleep.
+ Have stuffed animals?: so many.
SECTION 9---------WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT???----------
+ Abortion?: i'm for it.
+ Smoking?: blech.
+ Eating Disorders?: if it's not on purpose then i duno.
+ Summer?: my favorite time. i guess.
+ Piercings?: cute?
SECTION 10----------THIS OR THAT???----------
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: nose.
+ Single or taken?: single.
+ MTV or BET?: MTV
+ Sugar or salt?: sugar and salt together.
+ Chocolate or flowers?: blech.
+ M&M's or Skittles?: blech.
+ Stay up late or sleep in?: how about i do them both.
+ Hot or cold?: i hate being cold. hot.
+ Sun or moon?: the moon has more meaning.
+ Left or Right?: left all the way.
+ Spring or Fall?: spring.
+ Happy or sad?: erm. right now, sad. but i wanna be happy so desperately.
+ McDonald's or Burger King?: gross.
+ Mexican or Italian food?: gross.
+ Lights on or off?: off.
+ Candy or Soda?: neither.
Section 11-------IN THE LAST 24 HRS---------
+ Cried?: yes.
+ Worn jeans?: no.
+ Met someone new online?: no
+ Done laundry?: no
+ Drove a car?: no
+ Talked on the phone?: yes
+ Said "I Love You" to anyone? uhm.. yeah.
+ Paniced?: uhm. to a point of barfing yes.
Section 12--------DO YOU BELIEVE IN----------
+ Yourself?: not right now.
+ Your friends?: too much right now.
+ Santa Claus?: no.
+ Tooth Fairy?: nope. but i do believe in faeries.
+ Destiny/Fate?: ugh no.
+ Angels?: yes.
+ Ghosts?: yes.
+ God?: not really.
Section 13--------HAVE YOU EVER----------
+ Kissed your cousin?: gross.
+ Ran away?: i've wanted to.
+ Skipped school?: yup.
+ Cried when someone died?: delayed, but yes.
+ Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have?: i feel like that.
+ Done something embarrassing?: story of my life.
Section 14--------WHICH IS BETTER-------
+ Coke or Pepsi?: coke
+ Sprite or 7up?: theyre the fucking same.
+ Girls or guys?: i hate being a girl.
+ Blondes or Brunettes?: brunettes do it better.
+ Tall or short?: taller than me.
+ Pants or Shorts?: shorts look butch on me.
+ Night or Day?: night.
Section 15-------WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX---------
+ What do you notice first?: eyes and clothing/body type.
+ Last person you slow danced with?: erm. luke?
Section 16------THE LAST TIME YOU...----------
+ Showered?: this afternoon.
+ Stepped outside?: at like 10:30.
+ Went To The Mall?: i don't remember.
anyway. I'm going to the beach tomorrow. hopefully i'll be happier.
I don't know what to do.
I'm trying hard to just... get over it for now.
I'm so confused.
I threw up.
I cry, and then I make myself pretend to be strong so I stop.
But then I just cry again.
I don't know if it's worth waiting for, or if I should just, let go. and move on?
Fuck. I fucking hate this feeling.
It just goes to show how fast life can change on you.
[EDIT] I can't sleep, so this is stolen from ruby:
(i don't feel like making a special name for that stupid fucking cut.)
SECTION 1------ABOUT YOURSELF...--------
+ Known as: Steph, Steph 10z, Steph-a-free, Steph-fanny.
+ Lives in: Montclurr.
+ Birthday: may 20th '89.
+ Age: 16
+ School: MHS
+ Hair color: brown
+ Eye color: brown
SECTION 2------HAVE YOU EVER???--------
+ Cheated on someone?: i could never.
+ Been Cheated on?: hopefully not.
+ Fallen off the bed?: probably.
+ Broken someones heart?: i'm sure.
+ Had your heart broken?: uhm. yes.
+ Had a dream come true?: currently, no.
+ Done something you regret?: they're beginning to be regretted.
+ Cheated on a test?: who hasn't?
SECTION 3-------CURRENTLY...----------
+ Wearing?: alex furst's old powerpuff pj's and a tank top.
+ Eating?: nothing. for a while.
+ Drinking?: nothing.
+ Thinking about?: don't make me cry. (sorry if that sounds terribly fucking emo).
+ Listening to?: Save Ferris.
+ Chatting with?: ergh. nobody.
+ Watching?: the screen?
+ Should REALLY be doing?: stop thinking about this stupid mess and get to fucking sleep.
SECTION 4-------DO YOU???-----------
+ Brush your teeth?: erm. why wouldnt i?
+ Like anybody?: shutup.
+ Have any piercings?: yes
+ Drink?: i have.
+ Drive?: i get scared.
+ Smoke?: ugh no.
SECTION 5---------THE LAST PERSON YOU...-----------
+ Hugged?: ..luke.
+ Kissed?: ....luke.
+ IMed?: Courtney's cell.
+ Talked on the phone with?: ...luke.
+ Yelled at?: I don't know.
+ Fell in love with?: :[ everyone knows.
+ Crushed on?: shutup.
SECTION 6-------PERSONAL...---------
+ What do you want to be when you grow up?: graphic designer.
+ What has been the best day of your life?: i don't know.
+ What comes first in your life?: uhm. as of right now, myself.
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: fuck you.
+ What are you most scared of?: i don't know.
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed?: that day. my worries/anxieties.
+ Did you lose someone you really loved?: today. yes.
+ How many times have you fallen deeply in love?: lskdjf;lk.
+ Love your family?: sure.
+ Love your friends?: yeah.
7-------FAVORITE...----------
+ Movie?: lilo&stitch. empire records. romeo&juliet.
+ Song?: erm. there's a lot.
+ Group/Singer?: a lot.
+ Store?: i duno.
+ Relative?: i dont know.
+ Sport?: eh. dont know.
+ Ice Cream Flavor?: chubby hubby. but thinking about it makes me wanna barf right now.
+ Fruit?: clementine? strawberries? blackberries.
+ Candy?: ::barf::
+ Holiday?: eh. cliche: christmas.
+ Day of the Week?: friday.
+ Time?: just. night.
+ Color?: pink and green. but i'm drifting from that a little bit.
+ Name for a Girl?: Aden. I duno.
+ Name for a Boy?: Fred. just kidding.
+ Quote?: Erm. how about a lot of song lyrics.
SECTION 8-------DO YOU???-------
+ Like to give hugs?: not right now.
+ Like to give kisses?: nope.
+ Like to walk in the rain?: as long as its warm and its not a thunderstorm.
+ Prefer black or blue pens? depends. usually black.
+ Like to travel?: only in a car or train.
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back?: tummy.
+ Think you're attractive?: ugh.
+ Have a goldfish?: i did but i think it killed itself.
+ Ever have the falling dream?: usually before i fall into a deep sleep.
+ Have stuffed animals?: so many.
SECTION 9---------WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT???----------
+ Abortion?: i'm for it.
+ Smoking?: blech.
+ Eating Disorders?: if it's not on purpose then i duno.
+ Summer?: my favorite time. i guess.
+ Piercings?: cute?
SECTION 10----------THIS OR THAT???----------
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: nose.
+ Single or taken?: single.
+ MTV or BET?: MTV
+ Sugar or salt?: sugar and salt together.
+ Chocolate or flowers?: blech.
+ M&M's or Skittles?: blech.
+ Stay up late or sleep in?: how about i do them both.
+ Hot or cold?: i hate being cold. hot.
+ Sun or moon?: the moon has more meaning.
+ Left or Right?: left all the way.
+ Spring or Fall?: spring.
+ Happy or sad?: erm. right now, sad. but i wanna be happy so desperately.
+ McDonald's or Burger King?: gross.
+ Mexican or Italian food?: gross.
+ Lights on or off?: off.
+ Candy or Soda?: neither.
Section 11-------IN THE LAST 24 HRS---------
+ Cried?: yes.
+ Worn jeans?: no.
+ Met someone new online?: no
+ Done laundry?: no
+ Drove a car?: no
+ Talked on the phone?: yes
+ Said "I Love You" to anyone? uhm.. yeah.
+ Paniced?: uhm. to a point of barfing yes.
Section 12--------DO YOU BELIEVE IN----------
+ Yourself?: not right now.
+ Your friends?: too much right now.
+ Santa Claus?: no.
+ Tooth Fairy?: nope. but i do believe in faeries.
+ Destiny/Fate?: ugh no.
+ Angels?: yes.
+ Ghosts?: yes.
+ God?: not really.
Section 13--------HAVE YOU EVER----------
+ Kissed your cousin?: gross.
+ Ran away?: i've wanted to.
+ Skipped school?: yup.
+ Cried when someone died?: delayed, but yes.
+ Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have?: i feel like that.
+ Done something embarrassing?: story of my life.
Section 14--------WHICH IS BETTER-------
+ Coke or Pepsi?: coke
+ Sprite or 7up?: theyre the fucking same.
+ Girls or guys?: i hate being a girl.
+ Blondes or Brunettes?: brunettes do it better.
+ Tall or short?: taller than me.
+ Pants or Shorts?: shorts look butch on me.
+ Night or Day?: night.
Section 15-------WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX---------
+ What do you notice first?: eyes and clothing/body type.
+ Last person you slow danced with?: erm. luke?
Section 16------THE LAST TIME YOU...----------
+ Showered?: this afternoon.
+ Stepped outside?: at like 10:30.
+ Went To The Mall?: i don't remember.
anyway. I'm going to the beach tomorrow. hopefully i'll be happier.