Why am I so afraid of rejection? or Welcome to Limbo Land
So I was originally going to give a long post on my trip to SF, but feel that doing so will either jinx the situation or just be plain boring. So I will sum it up in a teaser paragraph, like the kind you find on the back of cheesy novels (named changed because I just like being anonymous):
Anne had no idea what would happen during her short trip to San Francisco, except that she was moving out of her old apartment for good and she was going to a career fair. However much like the uncommonly rainy San Francisco weather that greeted her, she could not predict that moving would go so well and that by some odd bit of fate, one of the fair attendees found her interesting enough to meet again. Still when it was all said and done, she was back on a train to Portland and as much in limbo as she had been before.
Yeah...that's all I'm gonna say. Want to know more, contact me personally or most likely I've already told you.
So here I am back in Portland in the land of limbo. Life's been like that a lot lately, but like many are right now, I've decided to make lemonade [even though I don't even really have lemons--if you know what I mean]. I'm applying for jobs, even ones I think I might not be qualified for. I'm trying to meet new people, try new things. I'm keeping my new goal: new year, new me tossing fears to the wind.
As for rejection (oh yeah I mentioned that earlier), it still scares me. It's why I've guarded my words more carefully and taken my actions after a bit of thought in the most recent years of my life. Seriously, when I was in high school and my first years of college, I spouted out random statements like a fountain statue and did things I eventually lived to regret. All that regret made me wiser and to some degree a little too safe. And that kept me from taking action, because sometimes I felt it was better to avoid rejection than to take a chance. That's got to stop. So I keep telling myself the following: "They're just words. The worst they can really say is 'no'. That's it."
Anywho, I'm doing my best to take more chances now. I'm trying to reclaim the girl I used to be--the girl I would like to be. Who's brave and smart, but not so reserved that people think she's snooty or shy in a gonna-merge-with-the-wall-soon sort of way.
End ramblings.
G'night.
Anne had no idea what would happen during her short trip to San Francisco, except that she was moving out of her old apartment for good and she was going to a career fair. However much like the uncommonly rainy San Francisco weather that greeted her, she could not predict that moving would go so well and that by some odd bit of fate, one of the fair attendees found her interesting enough to meet again. Still when it was all said and done, she was back on a train to Portland and as much in limbo as she had been before.
Yeah...that's all I'm gonna say. Want to know more, contact me personally or most likely I've already told you.
So here I am back in Portland in the land of limbo. Life's been like that a lot lately, but like many are right now, I've decided to make lemonade [even though I don't even really have lemons--if you know what I mean]. I'm applying for jobs, even ones I think I might not be qualified for. I'm trying to meet new people, try new things. I'm keeping my new goal: new year, new me tossing fears to the wind.
As for rejection (oh yeah I mentioned that earlier), it still scares me. It's why I've guarded my words more carefully and taken my actions after a bit of thought in the most recent years of my life. Seriously, when I was in high school and my first years of college, I spouted out random statements like a fountain statue and did things I eventually lived to regret. All that regret made me wiser and to some degree a little too safe. And that kept me from taking action, because sometimes I felt it was better to avoid rejection than to take a chance. That's got to stop. So I keep telling myself the following: "They're just words. The worst they can really say is 'no'. That's it."
Anywho, I'm doing my best to take more chances now. I'm trying to reclaim the girl I used to be--the girl I would like to be. Who's brave and smart, but not so reserved that people think she's snooty or shy in a gonna-merge-with-the-wall-soon sort of way.
End ramblings.
G'night.