Allow me to rant a bit here
People, listen to me: you're not supposed to tell people you're pregnant until the twelfth week. We all learned this from Aaron Sorkin, but before then, Emily Post and probably your grandma said it, too. (Actually, Post says that no one outside your immediate family should be told until just before you're big enough that people would know without being told. Of course, she was writing this before most women had bosses who needed to plan for maternity leave.)
In the past few years, it seems like people have started announcing their pregnancies way too soon. Dan's sister announced her pregnancy to the family in the second week, and to the rest of the world via Facebook in the sixth week. Today I saw a Facebook picture of someone's three positive pregnancy tests. They announced their pregnancy on Facebook the day they found out they were pregnant.
This is a bad idea. Do you know why? Because, sadly, miscarriages are really, really common. It seems like most women have one eventually. My mother had three. Dan's mom had one. It's just something you have to expect. And they're very common in the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. So if you wait until later to tell people, then not everyone has to know that you've had a miscarriage, and your sorrow isn't public, and you don't become a tragic figure in people's eyes.
Dan's sister-in-law told us when she was three weeks pregnant, and then at nine weeks, she miscarried. (She also announced this on Facebook, which I thought was poor judgment.) A co-worker of mine recently told us about her pregnancy before she even had her first doctor's appointment, and then last week she lost the baby.
This is really, really sad. However, I also think it should be a private sorrow, and that not everyone needs to know what you're going through. (Honestly, I think it would also be less awkward for the bereaved parents if not everyone knew.)
(Post also points out that the further into your pregnancy you are when people find out, the less likely they are to make a rude reference to the act that led to the condition.)
In the past few years, it seems like people have started announcing their pregnancies way too soon. Dan's sister announced her pregnancy to the family in the second week, and to the rest of the world via Facebook in the sixth week. Today I saw a Facebook picture of someone's three positive pregnancy tests. They announced their pregnancy on Facebook the day they found out they were pregnant.
This is a bad idea. Do you know why? Because, sadly, miscarriages are really, really common. It seems like most women have one eventually. My mother had three. Dan's mom had one. It's just something you have to expect. And they're very common in the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. So if you wait until later to tell people, then not everyone has to know that you've had a miscarriage, and your sorrow isn't public, and you don't become a tragic figure in people's eyes.
Dan's sister-in-law told us when she was three weeks pregnant, and then at nine weeks, she miscarried. (She also announced this on Facebook, which I thought was poor judgment.) A co-worker of mine recently told us about her pregnancy before she even had her first doctor's appointment, and then last week she lost the baby.
This is really, really sad. However, I also think it should be a private sorrow, and that not everyone needs to know what you're going through. (Honestly, I think it would also be less awkward for the bereaved parents if not everyone knew.)
(Post also points out that the further into your pregnancy you are when people find out, the less likely they are to make a rude reference to the act that led to the condition.)