And if we fall from grace, at least we've had a taste..
So, I am curious if other people feel this way too at times --
Do you ever feel that though you have all these "friends".. that they are really not friends of your's at all?
:: Well, what I really mean is.. okay, I have a lot of people that I call my friends, this whole group in particular but sometimes it feels like they're really not. Kind of like we're all fake, but not... and too - loss of a better word - stupid, to just admit that we should no longer act like we're friends, when we truly don't even like eachother. But.. I'm not even sure if I do, or do not like them. There's times when I'm with them and I feel left out, and those are the times that I just say to myself "What the fuck." Then again sometimes we have great times together, going places, smoking cigs, they drink.. I usually don't..
I don't know, to me that really doesn't matter as much as my "best friend" does. She's been so wrapped up in this 'other life' kind of thing. Like, wanting to fuck teachers, and hang out with these two russian chicks - they're not terrible people, its just that they're a really bad influence on her because they're all sex crazed. And I've been seeing a lot of changes in her these past 2 or 3 months. And I realize I'm really mean to her at times, because of the stupid things she says, and I know I should be more calm and caring.. but I can't help myself. I flip, it's like her shyt gets under my skin and picks at me to the point that I want to scream and hit.. I miss it when it was me and her against the world... now it's her and them two having all the fun. I only get the phone call to come out after all the plans have been made.. and sometimes not even... the past 3 months have been some dead ass months for me. Nothing good has come my way at all. Nothing to make me wanna change anything that I've been doing.. it seems shyt's just getting worse.. and I don't know how to make it good again. Soon I'm going to be completely alone,... again.
Do you ever feel that though you have all these "friends".. that they are really not friends of your's at all?
:: Well, what I really mean is.. okay, I have a lot of people that I call my friends, this whole group in particular but sometimes it feels like they're really not. Kind of like we're all fake, but not... and too - loss of a better word - stupid, to just admit that we should no longer act like we're friends, when we truly don't even like eachother. But.. I'm not even sure if I do, or do not like them. There's times when I'm with them and I feel left out, and those are the times that I just say to myself "What the fuck." Then again sometimes we have great times together, going places, smoking cigs, they drink.. I usually don't..
I don't know, to me that really doesn't matter as much as my "best friend" does. She's been so wrapped up in this 'other life' kind of thing. Like, wanting to fuck teachers, and hang out with these two russian chicks - they're not terrible people, its just that they're a really bad influence on her because they're all sex crazed. And I've been seeing a lot of changes in her these past 2 or 3 months. And I realize I'm really mean to her at times, because of the stupid things she says, and I know I should be more calm and caring.. but I can't help myself. I flip, it's like her shyt gets under my skin and picks at me to the point that I want to scream and hit.. I miss it when it was me and her against the world... now it's her and them two having all the fun. I only get the phone call to come out after all the plans have been made.. and sometimes not even... the past 3 months have been some dead ass months for me. Nothing good has come my way at all. Nothing to make me wanna change anything that I've been doing.. it seems shyt's just getting worse.. and I don't know how to make it good again. Soon I'm going to be completely alone,... again.