if only you could see this through my eyes
not that it matters or will even change anything
but i want you to know that i was forced into doing what i did
in all seriousness
if you ever want to hear the story i will tell you
but besides that i thought that you deserved to know the truth.
also, about me lying to your face repeatedly....
i tried to avoid talking to you about "it" at all costs
i never rubbed it in your face
and repeatedly? i honestly don't think that is true.
i didn't tell you before for the sole purpose of being scared.
i didn't want you to be mad, and i figured that you would be 'over' it by now.
in telling you i thought it would make things better.
you knew the truth and that i was an honest person.
i couldn't have told you before because you would have flipped. trust me, i know you.
i didn't want to jeopardize our friendship, because i cherish it so much.
but i couldn't hold it in any longer. it was so hard to keep from you for four months.
i would have told you sooner, but since we didn't talk over the summer, i could ignore the guilt a lot easier.
also, i know how you feel about my friends and me lately...i read the comments you posted on erica's lj. and have heard things that you said from many people.
if a mistake that i made in the past is going to ruin our relationship, then so be it, because it was exactly that "a mistake," and i know for a fact that if the situation was the other way around, if you were in my shoes and i was in yours, i would forgive you.
sorry if this seems mean, that was not my intent at all. i just don't understand why you are punishing me for telling you the truth. if i didn't love you like i do then i wouldn't have told you.
however you interpret this...all i meant to do was say i'm sorry.
but i want you to know that i was forced into doing what i did
in all seriousness
if you ever want to hear the story i will tell you
but besides that i thought that you deserved to know the truth.
also, about me lying to your face repeatedly....
i tried to avoid talking to you about "it" at all costs
i never rubbed it in your face
and repeatedly? i honestly don't think that is true.
i didn't tell you before for the sole purpose of being scared.
i didn't want you to be mad, and i figured that you would be 'over' it by now.
in telling you i thought it would make things better.
you knew the truth and that i was an honest person.
i couldn't have told you before because you would have flipped. trust me, i know you.
i didn't want to jeopardize our friendship, because i cherish it so much.
but i couldn't hold it in any longer. it was so hard to keep from you for four months.
i would have told you sooner, but since we didn't talk over the summer, i could ignore the guilt a lot easier.
also, i know how you feel about my friends and me lately...i read the comments you posted on erica's lj. and have heard things that you said from many people.
if a mistake that i made in the past is going to ruin our relationship, then so be it, because it was exactly that "a mistake," and i know for a fact that if the situation was the other way around, if you were in my shoes and i was in yours, i would forgive you.
sorry if this seems mean, that was not my intent at all. i just don't understand why you are punishing me for telling you the truth. if i didn't love you like i do then i wouldn't have told you.
however you interpret this...all i meant to do was say i'm sorry.