stage fright
-> NOUN: Acute nervousness associated with performing or speaking before an audience.
Never thought it would affect me.
I mean, all I have to do is to stand up and explain (loud and clear) a highly complex theme in front of round hundred students and a dozen of Professors...
And as if it's not enough, my own Prof asked me, if I can play the chairman for the first session. ("Vorsitzender" sounds even more ridiculous.)
What on earth made him think, I'm the right person for that job? Standing there, smiling, call the lecturer on the speakers desk and cut them off, when they talked over their limits. I'll need a megaphone to make myself noticeable. (can you just push somebody down if they talked too long? And how am I suppose to moderate an obligatory after-presentation discussion, if I hate public debates?)
Oh, yes, the reason why it have to be me, is that the only another person in the run had a broken nose and will be operated tomorrow noon.
(can somebody punch me please? I'll try not to fight back. Not too hard at least.)
Also, shall I wear a tie?
Or a suit?
Or just drink a big glass of valerian before it starts?
(whenever I'm nervous or dead-tiered or just feeling uncomfortable around a person - my accent gets really bad. Otherwise it's almost not present but in those cases it sounds just... gross. Strangely, it never happens when I'm drunk - I guess, it's just a cliché after all.)
Also, it's impossible to explain the basics of "X-Ray and Neutron Scattering Analysis Methods" in just a half of an hour. The theme is huge and amazing and combines quantum mechanics as well as theoretical physics - after being engaged in the theme for weeks, I can't help but love it. And now I'll have to simplify it all in some dumb overview presentation. Damn.
(It's just
awesome!)
So, the week-end of doom starts tomorrow and will go till Monday, the 31th May.
My turn will be on Sunday, at 11:30 a.m.
Wish me luck <3
By the way, it also means, I have to spend the next weekend in the labs in order to catch up with my thesis plans.
It's not like I'm a workaholic or something but.
Research is not a standardized nine-to-five job: I can take myself a day free, if my amobeas suddenly die from... actually, I still don't know why it happened that day. But on the other hand... Well, for example, yesterday:
(In the following the pretty Chef-girl who was so kind to show around the lab denotes as E.)
E.: - You measurement's time starts about 6 p.m. today, okay? Now that you can work alone, the experiment should take you only a few hours.
Me: - Um, on Wednesdays I'm normally at Taekwando. .. but it's fine. Really! I can pass a training or two, bachelor thesis is sure more important than that ^_^
E: - Oh no, dear! You shouldn't sacrifize your hobbies, those are very important for the right mental balance.
Me: *beams with joy*
E: - Now that you have a key of your own, you can open the labs anytime. So, why won't you just come back right after your training? At 8 p.m.? In fact, that would be even better, so I can try one more measurement myself, before you'll need the microscope. Deal?
Me.... yeah, right. Till 8 p.m. then.
Will it be that despicable to wish my amoebas a few more casual death', so that I can enjoy a bit of the spring?
Hm.
P.S.: to make this nervous entry looks a bit less nerdy - I've started watching
Firefly and it's absolutely great. If you like SciFi or nor - just go and watch it. Now.
Reminds me strongly of Cowboy Bebob. Especially, because of their cool but somehow really creepy crew. Oh, and because of the sarcasm of the show >3