Going back to my loves
I haven't hit the road for over 2 months. My bike had been collecting dust. Today, I just forced myself to get out of my room, in spite of that half recovered hamstring tear, and put in some quadwork and cycle down to the sea. Just a short sprint effort, 54 minutes long. I can't say how much I miss cycling. No matter how long I have stopped cycling, the feeling of spinning those cranks and flying down the road with that hum in the frame, that sensation is something special. Out of the three disciplines, the one that really gets me psyched is cycling.
It has been a foregone conclusion since the time I said that I would play for NTU Ultimate for IVP: I cannot physically do the Aviva Half Ironman 2010. I also cannot express the disappointment of missing that either. Of course that disappointment is very much softened by the wonderful friends and team I've met...as I said to someone not too long ago, this is the first time I've ever felt passion for a team. It's different from feeling a duty and pride in serving a team, it is BEING the team, being an important part of that chain from first training to that final score during the big day.
I've been forced to admit that triathlon had done me more physical good that Frisbee has. Two consecutive hamstring tears, and losing more and more weight. With triathlon, the core work was ever present in all three disciplines, and the need to lift weights was ever apparent. Not so with ultimate frisbee. I just want to play, I can't be bothered to become stronger physically in order to support my performance. Triathlon simply does not even allow for that mentality.
So I'm oscillating between two loves...but being on my bike today showed me I simply cannot put triathlon down. As one woman said: "It's like a drug...Ironman's the drug". I'm not an Ironman. But the mental toughness and discipline that came with training for 2 half ironmans, is not something I can ever put aside without becoming dysfunctional again. However brief, that shining moment of really feeling alive doing all three sports, that is something I cannot put aside, not even for ultimate frisbee.
Ultimate, being the ultimate sport it is, is also another enigmatic sport. It truly is an ultimate sport, for people with a whole different mind. It moulds and shapes you according to how you choose to play, to think, to feel. It's such an emotive sport. Every day you play, every time you think about it, a barrage of emotion comes along with it, and the pace of change of that emotional trend is breakneck.
One day you can have a really good day, another day you have a horrible one. Then as grow in the sport, you realize more and more how you and the sport interact. The sport is one being in itself, and you, with all your mental and physical characteristics is another. Once you understand that being deficient in certain aspects of gameplay, is not a reflection of your character, ability, but rather the way you and the game interact, is when you start managing your progress.
I've been through that rollercoaster, tossed and turned upside down, and I settled for supporting a team I had pride in supporting, but no joy in playing for. I didn't know one basic truth about both triathlon and ultimate: Your feelings as a person, dominate your performance.
-PotAtObOy: I can smell the winds of change again, something great is in the making...-
It has been a foregone conclusion since the time I said that I would play for NTU Ultimate for IVP: I cannot physically do the Aviva Half Ironman 2010. I also cannot express the disappointment of missing that either. Of course that disappointment is very much softened by the wonderful friends and team I've met...as I said to someone not too long ago, this is the first time I've ever felt passion for a team. It's different from feeling a duty and pride in serving a team, it is BEING the team, being an important part of that chain from first training to that final score during the big day.
I've been forced to admit that triathlon had done me more physical good that Frisbee has. Two consecutive hamstring tears, and losing more and more weight. With triathlon, the core work was ever present in all three disciplines, and the need to lift weights was ever apparent. Not so with ultimate frisbee. I just want to play, I can't be bothered to become stronger physically in order to support my performance. Triathlon simply does not even allow for that mentality.
So I'm oscillating between two loves...but being on my bike today showed me I simply cannot put triathlon down. As one woman said: "It's like a drug...Ironman's the drug". I'm not an Ironman. But the mental toughness and discipline that came with training for 2 half ironmans, is not something I can ever put aside without becoming dysfunctional again. However brief, that shining moment of really feeling alive doing all three sports, that is something I cannot put aside, not even for ultimate frisbee.
Ultimate, being the ultimate sport it is, is also another enigmatic sport. It truly is an ultimate sport, for people with a whole different mind. It moulds and shapes you according to how you choose to play, to think, to feel. It's such an emotive sport. Every day you play, every time you think about it, a barrage of emotion comes along with it, and the pace of change of that emotional trend is breakneck.
One day you can have a really good day, another day you have a horrible one. Then as grow in the sport, you realize more and more how you and the sport interact. The sport is one being in itself, and you, with all your mental and physical characteristics is another. Once you understand that being deficient in certain aspects of gameplay, is not a reflection of your character, ability, but rather the way you and the game interact, is when you start managing your progress.
I've been through that rollercoaster, tossed and turned upside down, and I settled for supporting a team I had pride in supporting, but no joy in playing for. I didn't know one basic truth about both triathlon and ultimate: Your feelings as a person, dominate your performance.
-PotAtObOy: I can smell the winds of change again, something great is in the making...-