Sunday 5th December 2 0 0 4
Yesterday was a very interesting day. Susan and I drove down to Columbus for her Christmas Party. But first we met Sean for lunch. Pretty decent company. Swapped some stories and ate some good food.
Then we went on to the Party ...allow me to say that the most bizarre thing in the world is going to a Corporate Christmas Party where your having 700 employees from 4 different states having what looks like a Gala, where half the people are wearing Cowboy hats, and Sweaters! Yes Kids you heard me right. While Half of us were wearing Suits and Gowns, the southern half of the company was wearing Cowboy hats and sweaters, the Girls were wearing "Come fuck me Boots", and Mini skirts.
And this was just the begining. For you mix this and Alcohol you get Very Bad Jokes, But add to this that on the same floor next door was a national Cheerleader Tournament, and you have a petefiles wet dream. A bunch of Drunken Rednecks in a crowd of 700 people next door to 500 girls ranging in age from 8 to 17, in outfits that Paris Hilton wore in her " Home Movies"... ( Am I the only one that finds the Parents of Chherleaders Hypocrites? Naturally they dont want there daughters doing.." Things" but they let them compete in competitions where the skirt is barely below there but, and they do Acrobatics that show there underwear...Must be me, but I find it kind of degrading as well.
Oh Did I mention the small fire yet? yeah there was a small fire at our table, caused By Susans Boss. She placed the bread basket to close to the Candles on the table. But she did put it out with the water at the table.
and the final bizzare thing of negativity.. The CEO of the company was giving his Boring speech, and was following it up with some door prizes.. he gets to the bog door prize ( A trip for a week all expenses paid to Las Vegas) when a guy at the table next to us stands straight up, and falls back like a tree in the forrest. Bow only a handful of us in the area notice this. ( and I might mention I am wearing a 3 foot tall Santa claus hat as well) This guys date starts crying some people are stranding around saying in unison "Oh my God". SO Me, I stand up and start shouting Help! Now hes a distance away But the CEO, the only guy who's supposed to be standing up and talking, is looking at me like I am an asshole who had too much liquer, I hear a sigh over the speakers and he says " Excuse me whats the problem?" I shout HELP! MAN DOWN HE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION!" The Ceo says something I have been waiting years to hear..." Is there a doctor in the house?" followed by " SOmeone call 911!" Some guy out of the crowd leaps over like Batman and says I'm a paramedic, looks at me and says "you! get these people back." so I start acting like I am at work. looking like I want to bite someones eye out and shouting, people step back 3 feet! they look at me in terror and back the fuck up.. I didnt care it worked..some people would try to sneak closer for a look, because it doesnt seem the guy is responding to anything being said or the fact that he's being moved, matter of fact he looks dead. ( Dont worry he isnt) So I start up again " I said step back! NOW!" they look at me like a puppy caught filching something from the trash and scurry back to the imaginary 3 foot line.
then out of nowhere, the guy starts to respond and gets up, the paramedic is telling him to stay still help is on the way, but this guy isnt hearing it, he gets up and starts acting violently, and leaves the hall followed by the Paramedic and apparently 2 friends...
On some good notes, the food was nice, The bar was open, the cheese was Gourmet, they had a decent Band for the whole evening, and hired Christmans carolers ( dressed in old garb) going around to every table and singing chrstmas carols. They saw my hat amd had me sing with them, and was stunned that I kept up with there harmony. ( being in school choir was a notch they didnt know about.)
So to sum up
Hillbilly's
Cheerleaders
Table Flambe'
Carolers
Disoriented CEO
Passed out violent hillbilly
the end
P.S. the passed out guy, was epileptic, on meds, and Anti biotics for some sort of infection and decided to get drunk...what a Maroon!
Then we went on to the Party ...allow me to say that the most bizarre thing in the world is going to a Corporate Christmas Party where your having 700 employees from 4 different states having what looks like a Gala, where half the people are wearing Cowboy hats, and Sweaters! Yes Kids you heard me right. While Half of us were wearing Suits and Gowns, the southern half of the company was wearing Cowboy hats and sweaters, the Girls were wearing "Come fuck me Boots", and Mini skirts.
And this was just the begining. For you mix this and Alcohol you get Very Bad Jokes, But add to this that on the same floor next door was a national Cheerleader Tournament, and you have a petefiles wet dream. A bunch of Drunken Rednecks in a crowd of 700 people next door to 500 girls ranging in age from 8 to 17, in outfits that Paris Hilton wore in her " Home Movies"... ( Am I the only one that finds the Parents of Chherleaders Hypocrites? Naturally they dont want there daughters doing.." Things" but they let them compete in competitions where the skirt is barely below there but, and they do Acrobatics that show there underwear...Must be me, but I find it kind of degrading as well.
Oh Did I mention the small fire yet? yeah there was a small fire at our table, caused By Susans Boss. She placed the bread basket to close to the Candles on the table. But she did put it out with the water at the table.
and the final bizzare thing of negativity.. The CEO of the company was giving his Boring speech, and was following it up with some door prizes.. he gets to the bog door prize ( A trip for a week all expenses paid to Las Vegas) when a guy at the table next to us stands straight up, and falls back like a tree in the forrest. Bow only a handful of us in the area notice this. ( and I might mention I am wearing a 3 foot tall Santa claus hat as well) This guys date starts crying some people are stranding around saying in unison "Oh my God". SO Me, I stand up and start shouting Help! Now hes a distance away But the CEO, the only guy who's supposed to be standing up and talking, is looking at me like I am an asshole who had too much liquer, I hear a sigh over the speakers and he says " Excuse me whats the problem?" I shout HELP! MAN DOWN HE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION!" The Ceo says something I have been waiting years to hear..." Is there a doctor in the house?" followed by " SOmeone call 911!" Some guy out of the crowd leaps over like Batman and says I'm a paramedic, looks at me and says "you! get these people back." so I start acting like I am at work. looking like I want to bite someones eye out and shouting, people step back 3 feet! they look at me in terror and back the fuck up.. I didnt care it worked..some people would try to sneak closer for a look, because it doesnt seem the guy is responding to anything being said or the fact that he's being moved, matter of fact he looks dead. ( Dont worry he isnt) So I start up again " I said step back! NOW!" they look at me like a puppy caught filching something from the trash and scurry back to the imaginary 3 foot line.
then out of nowhere, the guy starts to respond and gets up, the paramedic is telling him to stay still help is on the way, but this guy isnt hearing it, he gets up and starts acting violently, and leaves the hall followed by the Paramedic and apparently 2 friends...
On some good notes, the food was nice, The bar was open, the cheese was Gourmet, they had a decent Band for the whole evening, and hired Christmans carolers ( dressed in old garb) going around to every table and singing chrstmas carols. They saw my hat amd had me sing with them, and was stunned that I kept up with there harmony. ( being in school choir was a notch they didnt know about.)
So to sum up
Hillbilly's
Cheerleaders
Table Flambe'
Carolers
Disoriented CEO
Passed out violent hillbilly
the end
P.S. the passed out guy, was epileptic, on meds, and Anti biotics for some sort of infection and decided to get drunk...what a Maroon!